Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 20: "Mum... it's Siobhan"

It's short, but couldn't help it...

The phone felt heavy. Her arms were weak and trembling. The hustle and bustle of the emergency room muffled as she heard... ring.... ring... "Hello..."
"Mum... could you..." Vivian's mother cut her daughter off quickly, "honey, what's wrong?!" Vivian tried to suck in her sobs as she muttered, "It's Siobhan... she was... he hurt her bad mum..." She heard a soft gasp through the phone and then silence. "Mum, could you keep Jamie for the next few days? I need to be here with Siobhan. I can't leave her... I'm scared... I'm scared I'm going to lose her." As Vivian's mother felt tears building in her eyes, voice soft, "Of course I will baby. You hold on to that hope and be strong for her. Talk to her! Remind her what she is fighting for... you."

While Vivian said goodbye to her mum, she heard a sympathetic voice call her name...

Siobhan had finally stabilized enough to go for some scans, so Renee walked out to Vivian. "Vivian, I'm taking Siobhan to radiology. I'm going to let you come back with her." The heartbroken woman walks into the room. Siobhan's eyes are closed and silent tears flood down Vivian's face. As she approaches, her legs are shaking, a cold sweat taking over her body. The deep breath she tried to take caught in her chest, and she let out a sharp gasp. Tunnel vision and a faint feeling overwhelmed her. She fought for strength as she took Siobhan's hand in hers.

I can hear her shallow breaths. Feel her cold, clammy hands. Please don't die... Come on Vivian, you have to be strong for her. You have to hold on to the hope that she is going to make it through this. She has to be okay.

As they were getting ready to take Siobhan to radiology, they heard shouting and the sound of running feet echoed down the hallway. Through the window, Vivian spotted a familiar redhead— Mia, unconscious— being rushed into the trauma room. She couldn't believe it! Her heart sank. The woman who was helping her save Siobhan earlier— now helpless herself. For a fleeting moment, Vivian thought about running to her side. But no, Siobhan was her first priority. She swallowed the panic, resolving to check on Mia as soon as they returned from Siobhan's scans.

As they laid Siobhan on the CT table, she leaned in slowly to kiss her on the forehead. The same way she did last time Roger hurt her. Vivian experienced flashbacks.

If only I could have convinced her that night to leave Roger, maybe... she wouldn't be here now. Maybe I... I could have shown her... what love is supposed to be.

Walking to the viewing room Renee pulled Vivian close rubbing the opposite arm.

I knew there was nothing I could say to comfort Vivian right now. Her love is fighting for her life. I have never seen her in such a fragile state. Siobhan, you have to pull through.

Vivian and Renee were watching the monitor, along with the radiologist. As the scans came in, nausea hit Vivian like a tidal wave. She dashed to the bin. Renee quickly followed behind her. Renee's hand stayed firm on her back, her voice steady. "She is strong, Viv." She paused. "Dr. Larrey is the best. You know she's in good hands." The radiologist immediately called the doctor for a verbal report. Again, Siobhan was pried from her hands. Vivian stood frozen, helpless as the doors swung shut behind them. All she could do now was hope.