I Kissed A Boy.

29.

//WARNING: This chapter contains NSFW & TRIGGER WARNING, mature themes, attempted suicide.



**Joshua.**

**Three Weeks Ago.**

My head was pounding.
But then again.
My whole body was also hurting.
The last thing I remembered was..

I shot up in bed with wide eyes.
I had sex with Devi.
I looked around before realizing I was not in my bed.
This wasn't even my room.
I brought the palm of my hand to my head with a frown.

"What happened to me..?"

"Finally awake?" 
I froze looking to the bedroom door and found no other than, Devi himself standing there, looking right at me with this amused grin on his face.

There was this fear as I sat there.
"Where am I?" I asked him.
Devi smirked, his crossed arms dropped to the sides of him as he looked at me.
"You're in my house, can't have a newborn transitioning where his human brother lives, now can I?" He questioned walking over to me.
My brows knitted.
"Transitioning..?" I repeated before placing my hand on my chest, listening as my blood ran ice cold.

"Devi, what did you do?" I frowned at him.
Devi chuckled.
"Now there's the fun question, I killed you and turned you into one of us." He shrugged.
There was this anger that hit me as I went to swing my fist at the other, but cried out being pinned onto the bed.

"Are you angry?" He questioned, there was no expression on his face.
I looked at him with furrowed brows.
"Of course I'm angry! You took my life without even considering if I wanted this." I frowned deeply.
Devi rubbed the side of his neck.
"Well, it's a little too late for a refund, if you hate it so much. I guess you could stake yourself?" He suggested.

My eyes grew wide.
It was hard to swallow as I laid there.

"Do you kill everyone that you have sex with?" I asked.
Devi looked at me.
"Actually? No, you were the first." He answered.
I wanted to scream as my eyes burned fiercely.

"You're fucking selfish." I growled at him.
Devi blinked before smirking softly.
"For taking what I want? I suppose it's selfish, but do you really think anyone that's left human in that school, will remain human for long when more and more vampires are piling in?" He asked me.

I looked at him with tears in my eyes.
"Is that what you want? For humans to no longer exist?" I frowned at him.
Devi stared at me.
"In my personal opinion? I'd like for neither of our kind to exist, but it does." He stood up from me as I watched him.

"What you've done.. my brother is now alone, our parents don't care about us and it'll just be him in that house, did you even stop to think before you decided to rip us apart? Or did you just not care?" I glared softly.

Devi turned to me.
"You tend to forget who fucked you, if you're wanting me to feel guilty? I don't." He shrugged as I stood to my feet now, glaring harshly at him.
"Were you not once human yourself? How can someone be this fucking heartless?" I demanded before groaning when he slammed me into the wall.

"I really liked you when you were being the cute type and not guilt tripping me." He replied.
I glared.
"I guess that makes two of us disappointed, doesn't it?" I frowned.

Devi's eyes searched mine before scoffing as he stepped back.
"Take a shower, you've been asleep for four days." He said stepping out of the room.

Four days..?
I went to check my phone but found it missing.
Did Devi take it?

I walked to the window and found us surrounded by trees.
Where the hell did he live in Minnesota?

Tears burned my eyes as I walked into the bathroom.
My eyes fell on the shelf of pill bottles.
I took the bottle as tears slipped.
I never asked for this life.
I wanted to remain human.
I wanted to keep my brother safe.
Now I was going to be a danger to him.

I ran the water as I stared at the oval shaped pills.
I looked to the door, glaring as I popped the lid and poured the whole bottle in my mouth before stepping into the shower.
I kept my clothes on as I sat there.

I don't want this.
I'd rather be dead.
How Rocky and Devin handled it so well, beats the hell out of me.
But this life wasn't for me.

I laid my head back, feeling the medicine as my head became heavy.
Jayce would learn to move on.
He'd be happy eventually and maybe even move in with Dorian.
It made me smile softly.
I just wanted my brother to find happiness.
Even with me not in it.

I heard the sound of talking inside the bedroom, but my body wouldn't move.
There was a banging on the bathroom door before it was swinging open.

"Oh you dumb son of a bitch." Devi growled ripping me out of the tub.
There was no warning as he pressed his fingers into the back of my throat.
"I didn't turn you for you to kill yourself, now who's being selfish?" He pressed deeper as I lunged forward.
Losing nothing but acid and the pills I swallowed as my throat burned like fire.

"Throw it all up." He told me, there was an anger to his tone as I retched, leaning over as I went into a coughing fit.

I sat there sobbing harder than I originally wanted.
"Make it stop." I cried.
Devi looked at me, this soft glare on his face.
"Make what stop?"
I looked at him.
"My thoughts, if you don't make them stop, I'll do this again and again, until I am dead." I told him.
Devi frowned at me.
"You want to turn your humanity off?" He asked me.
More tears fell.
"If that'll make me stop feeling this way, yes. Otherwise, as soon as I'm alone? I will kill myself." I cried harder.

Devi sighed.
"Such a handful, but, you may actually make things more interesting with your switch off, so who am I to turn down such a request?" He grabbed my face and locked eyes with mine.

"Turn. It. Off." He commanded as I sat there with eyes swelled with tears, everything went blank and numb, every thought and memory?
I didn't feel a thing.

"Alright, now with the dramatics out of the way." He pulled me to my feet, despite being soaking wet as his hands grabbed my ass.
"Let's go to the bed." He told me.

Not arguing, I followed after the other as he stripped me completely.
"Lay on your stomach, I want you to feel me." He told me.
I nodded, crawling onto the bed and laid on my stomach as he instructed.
Devi smirked softly.
"I may actually enjoy this obedient side of you, but? I do want a little personality, so I'll have to tweak that personality of yours, otherwise? It'll be like fucking a doll, and I'm not into that." He snapped his fingers.

And although my thoughts returned, I didn't feel a damned thing.

"Alright." Without warning, he was pressing into me as I let out a pained cry.
"W-Wait." 
"Wait?" Devi chuckled.
"Now, I know I didn't give you that much feeling back, maybe I returned too much." He sighed before thrusting into me.
My face flushed red as I clung onto the pillow.
My brows knitted as I felt him going harder with each thrust.

"I can't hear your voice." He cooed, turning me over onto my back as I let out a moan.
Devi smirked wickedly.
"Yeah, this is better compared to that dead fish look a moment ago, the past may no longer hurt your mind, but I never said I wouldn't hurt you in bed." He teased thrusting into me.
My back arched before my arms were wrapping around the other.
Moaning and crying the others name as he bit deep into my shoulder, collar bone and the left side of my chest.

"Mine." He growled trusting into me.
"You are all mine." He told me as his hand connected to the side of my ass, it sent a bolt of excitement and fear through me.
"All yours." I cried.
"Go harder." I told him.
Devi smirked at me as he took my leg over his shoulder and thrusted harder as I let out sharp moans each time.

"I'm going to make you forget everything, I want your body to respond to me every time." His lips pressed to mine as I laid underneath the other.
Nodding as hot tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Make me forget, I don't want to think about the past, I just want to be yours and only yours." I told him.
He smirked softly, his lips on my throat as my back arched.

"Devi, please, make me yours." I cried.
"Are you sure you want that? To be marked as mine?" He questioned.
I nodded as my eyes locked with his.
"There's no one else I'd rather be with, I want to be reminded that you killed and ripped me away from my brother, and? I want to be your reminder that I'll never let you forget it." I told him coldly.

Devi paused before glaring.
"Are you trying to piss me off?" He questioned turning me over over my stomach as I hissed when his hand came down.
"I'm not trying, I want to piss you off, so much so that you'll remember how I was human once, someone you could have kept human." I cried out as he grabbed a fist full of my hair, ripping my head back as he glared at me.
"I guess we'll be having angry sex more often than you think, because there's no going back once you're marked." He told me.

I glared into the pillow.
"Do it, so we can be each other's own suffering." I replied.
Devi rolled his eyes.
"You're going to be one pain in the ass mate." He said biting deep into my shoulder as I let out a pained scream.
But it became muffled as I shoved my face into the pillow.
I could smell blood.
My blood.

I couldn't think about anything.
I just remember him pulling me into his lap, so I was facing the other before I was biting hard into the others collar bone, drawing blood as the tears formed in my own eyes.
This was the very definition of a fucked up relationship.
-----------
I laid there, staring blankly at the pillow while Devi showered.
I didn't want to move.
I just wanted to stay like this.
But I knew I couldn't hide
I'd have to go to school and deal with seeing everyone.

"Oh right."
His voice brought me from thought as Devi walked out of the bathroom, a towel around his neck as he walked into the room.
"I don't want you around those friends of yours anymore." He told me.
I stared back.
"You took me from my brother and now you're saying I can't be around my friends?" I frowned at him.
Devi pulled open the closet to look through the clothes.

"Exactly, you're mine and I don't like sharing. Your ties with them? End now." He told me.
I laid there before turning over onto my back.
"Is that how being mated works? You control my entire life now?" I questioned.
Devi watched me.
"It is if you're mine, like I said, I don't like sharing. And those friends of yours? Would take away what's mine." He said taking a seat on the bed.
I stared at the ceiling.

"You really know how to fuck a life up." I responded.
Devi chuckled.
"I know how to fuck up a lot, you'll adjust to this new life, even if you fight me the whole time." He shrugged getting back up as I watched him now.

"Wouldn't you rather just kill me?" I suggested.
Devi smirked softly.
"Kinda can't unless I'm prepared to kill myself." He said.
Well that won my attention.

I sat up and looked at him.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Devi walked over to the window.
"I mean, once two vampires are marked, they're connected. We're each other's links, if one gets hurt? You'll feel it, and if someone dies or kills their own mate?" Devi walked over, grabbing my chin as his eyes pierced mine.

"It'll kill them, some say it's worse than being staked." He told me.
I stared at him before looking away, my brows furrowed.

"I guess that means we can't kill each other." I frowned.
"Don't sound so disappointed." Devi sighed sitting down before pulling me with him.

"Sure, I killed you and took you from your brother and friends, but you'll come around and start to realize I did you a favor. Especially when they go their separate ways." He said.
I glared at him.
"You do realize none of that made me feel the slightest bit happy?" I frowned.

Devi gave me this tired smirk.
"I aim to disappoint, it's your fault for having the hots for the oldest vampire in school. You could have settled for someone like Kyrie, dull as he may be? He was a far better choice than I was, but you chose your poison." He pulled me on top of him as I glared softly at the other.
"And now you get to live with it." He told me, grinning.

I glared at the other before rolling my eyes.

Being told to live with it?

Was a poor choice of words.