Oh, My, Addison

Chapter Forty-Six - Addison - Out

Author's Note: You know, I made this account twelve years ago - isn't that insane? Twelve years ago I was 15. 

I'm not sure if there are any fans left from when I created the account, but twelve years ago I wasn't even out of the closet. I started secretly writing while in a toxic relationship with a guy. I was struggling with coming to terms of myself, who I was, and who I wanted to be.

If you've read Tainted Innocence, you can definitely tell I come from a traumatic past. At the time, I needed this website to give me an outlet for trying to come out and how to cope with trauma. I am very glad that that time of my life is over. I was Samantha - afraid to stand up for myself. 

As I wrote I Hate You, I still grappled with a lot of issues - family and relationship trauma and trying to work through my life. I liked writing this book better, but as I read back on it - definitely still a bit cringy to me considering I wrote the book in high school, college, and adulthood. I was June - grappled with emotions I couldn't express and lowkey had drinking problems. 

Then, I started Oh, My, Addison - which is quite different from my other stories. I felt that this story was a lot more confident, fun, and healthier than my previous works. It makes sense considering I started this book towards the end of my undergraduate and have grown since then. I am Addison - I'm driven, but I have a hard time focusing. I'm odd and say things that probably shouldn't be said, but I care so deeply for others all the time. I grew up in a very strict, religious household and was told that anything outside of the norm was wrong. 

Twelve years ago - I thought I would still live my life in the closet and stick to toxic tendencies. But now, I'm happily married with my own house for our two (R.I.P Orlando) doggos. We'll be together for nine years in January. I don't drink as much, and I've been going to therapy for almost a year now. I am proud of myself, and thank you to those that have stuck around. 

Will I continue to write? This is the question. Y'all know me - I write a bunch, then I periodically leave. I cannot promise that I will not do the latter again. However, I can share that if I do continue to write - I will write something a lot more different. Nothing high school or college (sorry to my younger readers). Perhaps it'll be a work that merges all of my previous books together - something dark, something hot, and something wholesome.

But until then - I look forward to wherever this journey takes me - or takes us! I sincerely love all of you that have stuck around and supported my writing. Thank you all!

P.s. this is not the last chapter - we have a couple more to go! 

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Addison's POV

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Melanie brought my hand to her lips as she looked at me genuinely, "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I just want to be there to support you." Her other hand lingered on the car ignition in case I said yes.

I shook my head and grazed my thumb along her jawline, "I'm sure. It's just my mom. She said my dad was at work. She said she wanted to talk." A part of me was relieved that my father was not going to be in on the conversation. As much as I wanted him to support me, my father and I never really communicated the way normal parents did. He was the one dead set on tradition and making sure to stay close to societal norms. He also never knew how to regulate his emotions, as I knew he and my mother stayed together mostly because divorces didn't occur in their culture. They never mixed well, which is why I felt a pang of empathy for my mom. If I left, she would be stuck here with him, and even though she was equally as pissed at me for making the college decision, I knew it was mostly because who would she go to if I left?

So, I wasn't surprised when my mom set us up for me to talk to her while he was at work. That's typically how it would work. They would fight with me, do something or say something crazy, give me the silent treatment, then my mother would be the one to apologize. Then, after she apologized, she would soften the information to my dad and we'd act like the fight never occurred.