Lovesick: Book 2

17

Chapter 17
Hateful Runner

Writers are like a living vacuum. They suck all the stories of the people around them and then create something out of jigsaw pieces to put out a whole lot of another story.

But to be a writer is also to be an empath. I feel things so deeply that I notice every single detail of them. It's a double-edged sword. It's hard when I'm the only person who feels this deeply when people barely notice me. And so I grew up to be the one who tells, not the one being told.

As a writer, I carry these stories of these people and bring them to my own papers and pens. Looking back, I realized how most of my stories aren't just inspired by my friends or to the people I met, but it's mostly inspired by my boyfriend.

This month of July became the reaping of all the healing process I've taken two months ago. It's another step of trying to forget what happened that night before the after party event of the ball that Aries invited me to. Now I spend most of my days floating in front of my laptop as I continue writing my second book.

Sunburn Summers is now beyond its half. With the shift of my perspective, I wanted to change a few themes. Para bang nagkaroon ako ng realization na hindi masyadong laliman ang malungkot na tema ng kwento ng mga karakter na isinulat ko.

I don't want to write a boy's love novel that has tragic endings. I think it's time to be seen in the community, not a sad tragic relief who always had sad endings.

Bakit lagi nalang nauuwing sawi ang mga bading?

Call Me By Your Name, A Little Life, Brokeback Mountain, Mysterious Skin, Close, Monster, Your Name Engraved Herein, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, A Little Life, They Both Die At The End, The Song of Achilles, and the lists goes on.

But then sometimes, I still feel like I'm not good enough to be called a writer. Maybe I'm not a bookworm enough like Louis, not vocal enough like Jun, or artistically graceful like Sasha. Parang ang dami ko pang kailangang isulat at basahin na mga libro bago ako maging ganap na writer.

Then I receive messages like these from my boyfriend:

love

Three months ago

love:

Love? Are u busy
Still working on Chapter 3?
Sent a photo.
Zoey wants to read your book already.

Two months ago

love:

What page are you on now?
Can I read it please?
Please, please, please

A month ago

love:

Can't sleep?
Don't read too much, your eyes will hurt
Bought you a new reading lamp
Sent photo.
You can attach it to your book^^

Two weeks ago

You:

You sent a PDF file.

love:

Should I prepare for tissue?
LOVE THIS IS SO GOOD!

You:

Stop, hindi pa nga tapos eh
Did you proofread it?

love:

Shocks
I forgot
I was too distracted reading how good it was