Lovesick: Book 2

07

Chapter 7
New Star

I'm eighteen but a big part of me still feels like I'm sixteen just a little bit taller.

Dati, lagi kong na-iimagine ang sarili ko na siguro, pagtungtong ko sa edad na ito ay alam ko na ang dapat kong gawin sa buhay ko. I can go out, explore the world, meet new people, expand my experiences, and love more. Pero pakiramdam ko ay wala pa ako sa kalahati ng mga pangarap na ito.

When you're eighteen you're still learning. And I think it will go on like that for years or in a lifetime.

But even if I've been having existential dreading again after the week of my birthday, I am always reminded of my youth and the memories I had wit it.

My youth isn't the most perfect memory that I could look back to. But I guess that's what makes it even more special. Here, apart from my friends, I have Marvin who reminds me that it is okay to feel young when I'm already at my legal age.

Marvin is my reminder of my youth.

Pawisan siyang naghahabol ng kaniyang hininga habang iniinuman ang kaniyang water tumbler. Kakatapos lang ng set ng kaniyang training at ako naman ay dalawang oras ng nakaupo dito sa bleachers, tahimik na binabasa ang readings na binigay sa amin ngayong linggo.

Bukod sa paghahanda ni Marvin sa midterms nila, mas marami ang oras na inilaan niya para sa kaniyang training. What led him to this was his major decision of competing to a different tournament this year.

Few months before the year started, nagkausap na kami tungkol dito. It's not an impulsive choice from him. As I know Marvin, lahat nakaplano na sa kaniya. Maybe even the trajectory of his whole life is already planned out.

"I'll be joining the Philippine Junior Tennis Grand Slam." He said without any hint of second-guessing.

I worried about what his parents would say about this sudden changes of his plans. Lagi kasing nababanggit sa akin ni Tita na hangga't nasa college kami ni Marvin, itutuloy niya ang pagsali sa PULAA.

Philippine Junior Tennis Grand Slam has a bigger reach outside the field of college atheletics. But that also means greater pressure from him.

"Sigurado ka na ba diyan?" I don't doubt his abilities. It just pains me to see him struggle.

"Mm-mm... nakapagplano na kami ni Coach Tirso," he nods, reassuring me with his smile.

"And what's the plan?"

"To reach for International Opens,"

"I know that's the plan," sagot ko dahil sa tila pamimilosopo siya.

He chuckles, "well, after this grand slam, siguro babalik din ako sa PULAA para magpahinga,"

"Pahinga? You call that a rest?" Parang mas ako pa ang napapagod sa kaniya.

"After PULAA in our sophomore year, I'll see if I could make it to Asian Tournaments," his tone became familiar. It's a kind of tone that is hopeful yet worried.

"Whatever your plan is, sasama ako," ilang beses ko itong ipinangako sa kaniya. "Kahit sa Jupiter or Saturn ka pa maglaro, pupuntahan kita,"

He cuddles with me with Zizi who's been laying in between our bed sheets.

Hindi pa tapos ang training ni Marvin pero nagpaalam na ako sa kaniya dahil sa aking klase ngayong araw. This became our routine even after he competed for Semi Finals from this season. Malapit na ang finals kaya mas sinigurado ko na kasama niya ako palagi para maramdaman niya ang suporta ko sa kaniya.

It's a little sacrifice that isn't much of a big deal for me. Nakakapagbasa naman ako at nakakagawa pa ng school requirements kahit na nandito ako sa tennis gym nila.