Lovesick: Book 2

15

Chapter 15
Reflections

June became the open month where I recharge my drained creativity for the half year of balancing my academics, writing, and other organizational works inside and outside the campus.

Been spending time with writing, painting, and currently, watching Van and his other blockmates edit our short film.

Now I'm staring at the ceiling while my laptop is resting on top of my chest while I feel the softness of the sofa. Nasa apartment ako ngayon ni Van kung saan nag-eedit sila nila Nirvana ng short film.

Since last May, I've been thinking about what Marvin asked me when we were in La Union. Bakit ba ang hilig kong maglagay ng sad themes sa mga kwento ko? At some point, I do think that what I write is a reflection of all the things I couldn't say out loud, especially the sad ones.

I want to be as raw as I can in telling the stories of my heart. Para bang hindi nagiging makatotohanan ang kwento kung puro lang masaya.

But now, I don't want to write boy's love novels that have tragic endings, especially now that I have a growing young readers. I think it's time to be seen in the community not as a sad tragic relief who always had sad endings. I want to erase the queer tragedy trope known to the media centered with LGBTQIA+.

Isinara ko na ang laptop ko at bumangon sa sofa na hinihigaan ko matapos ang dalawang oras na pagsusulat. Naghilamos at nag-ayos na muna ako bago ako nagpalaam sa kanila.

"Saan punta mo?"

Bago pa ako makapag-aalam, tanong na agad ang bungad niya sa akin pagbukas ko ng pinto. "Magkikita kami ni Ries, remember 'yung event?"

Ilang weeks na na-delayed 'yung event na tinutukoy niya and finally, mangyayari na rin ito. Aries promised me to a shopping haul kahit na sinabi ko sa kaniya ay 'wag na.

"Ah okay, ingat!"

"How's the progress so far?" Sabay silip sa monitor ng kaniyang PC.

"Malapit na!" Bigla niyang tinakluban ang screen gamit ang kaniyang katawan.

Makulit kasi 'tong lalaking 'to. Ayaw ipakita 'yung mga na-tape namin simula nang makabalik kami dito sa Isla. Gusto niya raw kasi na kapag napanuod ko na ay fully polished na.

"Okay, fine! 'Wag niyong kalimutang mag-backup lagi sa drive ha!" Paalala ko. Mas nag-ooverthink pa ako sa pag-crash ng computer niya at pagkawala lahat ng pinaghirapan namin.

Nag-commute na lang din ako papunta ng mall kung saan kami magkikita ni Aries. We met in front of the food court, then we started buying clothes and accessories as we passed by.

Hindi naman ganoon kamahalan ang mga binibili niya, pero unlike me, I would never spend ten thousand pesos over pair of shoes. Parang magiging ginto mga tatapakan ko. Nang makabili na kami ng suot kong top, sumunod namang ang black pants na pinili ko para sa akin.

After hours of long haul, finally, nakahanap na rin kami ng mauupuan. In return, ako na ang nagbayad sa coffee shop na pinuntahan namin.

"Saan ba tayo magkikita tomorrow if ever?" I sipped to the matcha latte I ordered.

Ipinatikim din muna ni Aries and mocha iced coffee na inorder ko. "Sabay na tayong pupunta sa venue ng after party, basta let's meet sa back studio ng Star Ent. kung saan gaganapin 'yung ball. Don't worry, I'll send you the address tomorrow." Paliwanag niya.

"Okay, that's nice!" Masigla kong sinabi.

"How was your filming pala in La Union?"

"It was good naman. Super saya and so fulfilling," I can't hide how I'm still excited whenever someone asks me about our filming days in La Union. "Naging close din kami ni Wes, he told me about you as well."