Ours To Hold- A Lily and James Fanfiction

Lily- Sirius' Highly Inappropriate And Embarrassing Best Man Speech

James guides me towards the long table at front of the ballroom in Potter Manor. I smile brightly at our guests as my husband pull my chair out for me. "Enjoying this, love?" James asks with a grin.

"Of course. It is our wedding day after all." I laugh.

Sirius walks up the staircase to the landing. He stops and points his wand at his throat.

"This is going to be entertaining." Remus muses as he pulls out a bowl of popcorn.

"Really, Moony?" James asks in disbelief.

Remus shrugs and offers the bowl to me. "I figured that this speech was going to be highly entertaining. One should never waste a perfectly good moment for popcorn."

I smile and take a handful.

"May I have your attention please?" Sirius calls out with a charming smile. "I am Sirius Black and I will be delivering the best man's speech." He says politely.

I raise an eyebrow at James. "This isn't so bad."

James shakes his head. "Wait for it, Lils."

"Before I get into my speech, I have some congratulation things..." He waves a bunch of pieces of parchment. "So, the first one is from the Lupin Family! They said congrats on getting married." He tosses the first piece of parchment over his shoulder. "This is from Professor Dumbledore! Wait, can I call you Albus now that I'm not spending all my spare time in your office, because I set off yet another prank? He says the same thing as the last people did." He tosses the parchment over his shoulder. He frowns at the next one. "Skipping this one!" He declares cheerfully. He throws it behind him. He flips through a few more. "Ah, they all say the same thing! Moving along." He dumps the pile behind him and grins. His eyes are full of mischief. "Now for my speech."

"James?" Remus whispers as he offers the bowl of popcorn to my husband.

James rolls his eyes and grabs a handful.

"I met James Potter on the train to Hogwarts seven years ago; back when he was an innocent snot nosed child. We became instant best mates. So, since James just married the lovely Lily, I feel like I need to get a few things off my chest- weddings make me so emotional!" Sirius pretends to sniffle. "James Potter asked Lily Evans out for four years straight. He asked her out a grand total of seven hundred and thirty-two times. Out of those seven hundred and thirty-two times, Lily never said yes once. Lily had some very creative comebacks for James. She called him: 'an arrogant toerag', an asshole, a stalker, freakin' Potter, that stupid Potter boy, and the regular Potter. Lily told James that she'd rather date the giant squid in the lake at Hogwarts. James, do you want some ice for that burn?" Sirius grins.

James groans softly as he puts his head in his hands.

"The only reason Lily went on that first date with James was because of a drunken game of Truth or Dare. Yes, Lily Evans- sorry, Lily Potter- drank on Hogwarts Grounds, while she was Head Girl. Talk about a scandal! Anyways, she was dared to play Quidditch against Jamsie. If she lost, then she had to go out with James. Lily didn't stand a chance. James is a master of many things- most of them I have found out about through less than reliable sources, but that doesn't really matter! James is apparently fantastic at getting between a girl's legs, shagging, snogging, French kissing, avoiding clingy ex-flings, and flirting. Is it true, Lily?"

James groans again as his face turns red. "Bloody hell, make him stop." I lean over and kiss James' cheek.

"He is a master at Quidditch. Lily had no choice but to go on a date with James. According to James, the rest of their story is none of my business." Sirius grins. "I'm truly happy for my friends and the happiness that they've found together, even though it ended the blokes' night out and has caused me to be terrified of walking into rooms without knocking... They're always snogging and shagging!"

"Speak for yourself." Professor McGonagall calls out.

"Called out by the professor!" James shouts.

"Want some ice for that burn?" I add.

The guests burst out with laughter.

"Thanks for the interruption." Sirius says as he dramatically rolls his eyes. "Because I've been such an amazing friend, I expect you to name your first child after me." Sirius laughs. "Somehow, judging by the look I'm getting from James, it'll be your second child..." Sirius raises his glass. "To James and Lily, I wish you all the best in your marriage."

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AN: hey everyone.
Wattpad is being difficult and I've had a lot of trouble updating.
Hopefully, this worked.
Anyways, so there's Sirius' speech.
The next update will be out in a week or two.
Thanks.