Ours To Hold- A Lily and James Fanfiction

Lily- The Ones We Love Never Really Leave Us

I've often been told that the stages of grief are similar to the stages of a breakup. First there's denial. Then comes the hurt. For James and I, the first stage doesn't apply to grief this time.

James stormed off after we returned to the Manor. He has been gone all night and I don't know where he is.

"I'm sure that Remus and Sirius will find him," Peter says comfortingly. "I'm sorry that this happened." He mumbles.

"It's not your fault."

Peter quickly looks away with a guilty look on his face.

I frown. "Peter, where were you when we invited you to come with us?"

"I-"

The door flies open and Remus and Sirius walk in with a hungover James.

I hurry over to them. "Is he okay?" I whisper.

"I'm fine." James says shortly.

"Remus, there's a hangover potion in the medicine cabinet. Could you go get it for me?" I ask.

"Of course." Remus leaves the room.

I gently touch James' cheeks with my hands. "Oh James," I whisper. "I was so worried."

Remus hands me to potion and I pass it to James. He tips the contents of the vial down his throat and moans.

"Back to the land of the sober, mate?" Sirius asks.

"Yeah."

Remus and Sirius exchange looks and quickly leave the room.

I sit down on the couch beside James. "How do you feel?" I say in flat tone.

"Lils," James says softly.

"I get that you're hurting. I feel the same way. You can't just do that. You can't run off. All night, all I could think of was if you were okay. I don't want to be put in that position."

"You probably shouldn't be able to marry someone who's about to start training to be an Auror then." He shrugs.

"Wow, James. That was low. I only meant that it scares me when you do things out of anger and hurt. We both lash out when we are hurt. Please, understand that."

James sighs. "Sorry."

"I know how you feel. It hurts, I know it does. Just know that I love you and I'm here for you, James."

James moves to the couch and pulls me into his lap. "I know you are, love. I'm here for you too."

"I just lost more people that I loved. They were going to be my family."

"They were your family, Lily. They loved you as a daughter. My mum was so proud to have you as a daughter." He whispers. "You're all I have now."

"You have the rest of our friends, James. You have Sirius. He's like a brother to you." I say gently.

"I know."

"It's gonna be hard for a while, James. It will get better," I promise.

James hugs me tightly. "Lils, there's something I want to say, but please don't take it the wrong way."

I nod slowly. "Okay. What is it?"

"I want to postpone the wedding."
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. He wants to postpone our wedding?

"Lils, I know you're freaking out. I still want to marry you! Don't doubt that. I feel like if we get married right now, we're rushing into things."