the stars in your eyes | t.s. one shots

so long, london

right so full disclosure this is an au and it is weird and complicated and emotional and sad because i too am weird and complicated and emotional and sad rn (and i have silverfish too whooooo!) so it's probably honestly more of a diary entry framed as a one shot than anything lmao but here it is, maybe someone will find some sort of enjoyment in it? i've got no idea but it was a little therapeutic to write i guess and that's all i have to say about that so enjoy xx

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London - February 2025
A rental house across the road from Hampstead Heath

Yeah, the headlines make it across the pond.

Of course they do. People keep asking her if she's heard the latest crazy thing that's happening and fuck, of course she has. She finds out in real time. They're taking away rights that she didn't even know were on the chopping block to begin with and she's obviously aware. That's what the internet is for, after all. She sees it all in real time, through Twitter alerts and national news outlets.

In the aftermath of the inauguration, everyone keeps telling her how lucky she is to be in London right now. Every time she hears it, it chips away at her a little bit more. It twists her stomach in knots. She certainly doesn't feel lucky.

She never thought she'd reach her breaking point with being in London like this.

She knows where they're all coming from. There's a part of her that feels the same luck. She's grateful to have somewhere safe to stay in case things really do come to that. But there's also another part of her that's hurt by the sentiment, just a little bit. The words are from the people who have no idea what she's going through. Honestly, there's very few people in her life who have even the slightest idea of just how bad things are with Joe. Selena knows every last detail; it was confided during a girls' night a few years ago. A few others know a bit, or at least that things aren't so picture perfect. Even her parents, though, think she's blissfully happy and in love. Most of her friends, though she loves them dearly, are so unaware of what her life is like right now. She isn't quite in contact with them enough to let them in on the innermost details of her life and especially her relationship. When they text her to check in, asking how she is and wishing her well... it's more of a pleasantry than anything else. That's not really the right time to share just how miserable she is. How, deep down, she wants to come home to the United States more than anything. She wants to wake up to the sun streaming in through the windows of her Rhode Island home and she wants to cuddle her mom whenever she wants. She wants to be able to call up her friends and have them at her house that same day, not whenever it's convenient for them to come to London for a week. Gosh, it's been nearly a year since she's seen Ashley, and even longer since she's seen some of the others.

And it all really hits her one day when a text comes through from a well-meaning friend.

Girl! Stay in London forever, seriously. Don't ever come back. It's so bad here- you're the luckiest. Can you get me a British man?

Don't ever come back.

To say that hearing those words makes her chest tighten would be an admission of how badly she wants to go home. And she doesn't want to admit that. But she has to take a few deep breaths to cool down after reading the text.

There were times in her relationship where she was really happy. She'd have never dated him in the first place if that wasn't true. Still, she is sure that she's been unhappy for longer than she was happy by now. It's been years since she loved him in the same way that she once did. But... he's what she has. He's the person the universe sent for her and they've just got to make it work. They're going to get married. She's certain. Any day now, he'll get down on one knee with a ring clutched in his fingers. She's just got a feeling.