Niyara pov
so it's late and the party is basically over majority of everybody went home so i was just sitting on the Couch with Ms.Amber about to start heading out myself
"well ight mom i had a lot of fun but i think it's time i start heading out" she nodded "ok baby thank you for staying i know it was probably hard seeing though how upset you were at him but i know my son makes mistakes
but your the best thing that's happen to him in a while and i hope yall work past whatever splat yall had" i chuckled "if god is willing" i then stood up and was about to grab my shit before Jordan walked in the living room
"where you going" "home the party is over" he shook his head "nah uhh i wanted to ask one last thing for my birthday before you leave" i shook my head "no jordan i already told you i didn't wanna talk about it"
he shook his head "i don't wanna talk i just wanna take a walk can we do that it's only gonna be a couple minutes" i huffed "fine we can take a walk" he smiled "ight bet let me get my hoodie"
i nodded because it wasn't cold today but it's kinda dark outside right now i get having a hoodie on but i waited for a minute then he came down with different shoes and a hoodie on
"ight come on" i sighed and we walked out the front door "we just finna take a walk around the college" i nodded we live near a small college and their campus is like open to the public basically
so it's a good place to walk "so what you been up to" i shrugged "stay home for real i don't really like getting close to new people or hanging out anymore these days i would rather be alone" he nodded
"i deserve that" i shook my head "it wasn't a shot it was a honest answer" "i think it was though and you won't even let me explain myself and why i did what i did"
i turned to him and said "honestly i still have so much love for you but i don't care about why you did it im surprised im even here right now because i told myself i would never talk to you again but i guess my heart had different plans"
we just got to the college and he's walking in the direction of the park which used to be our old chill spot when we just wanted to be alone away from the world because it's so beautiful at night
"i know i hurt your feelings but not caring ain't never been you" i shrugged "well when one person you love constantly hurts you a person tends to act different" he huffed and grabbed my wrist
walking fast towards the park to sit in our bench "look we ain't gotta talk but i want you to listen" i looked at him and move up to sit on the table so i could cross my legs because i don't wanna talk but let's hear this
"shoot" he huffed "ight so a few months ago when senior year first started my parents put all the pressure on me to be great with track and school but still having to balance a social life on top of that
stressed me the fuck out so i needed a friend and yeah i have a lot of friends but they never really understood me but when i seen you again this year and how patient you were with Amiyah
i knew i needed you in my life permanently so i started pushing our friendship granted i ain't never had to work that hard for a person to like me ever so i guess when you got used to being around me
i was getting overstimulated because im used to being alone so that's why i lashed out that day you went to the pool party i wasn't in a good mental state but i was still trying to make you happy but it back fired
then i wasn't expecting this to happen i knew i loved you as a friend but the whole sex thing happened because i wasn't receiving the right love from my girl at the time and you were here
and i know that statement sounds crazy but i promise i had no intention of using you and yes i should have stuck to my word leaving it as a one night stand but im selfish and liked the way you made me feel and the way you looked at me
and im not gonna lie i used to get jealous when you would talk to other nigga or give any else the time of day but when i got into college i forgot about all that because im fresh out a relationship
no strings attached to anybody so i was finna have fun but i forgot i had an obligation to you that i broke and im sorry i never meant to hurt you i never meant to use you and i damn sure don't want you to leave
so what can i do to make it right"
at this point i had tears rolling down my eyes but i finally got the words "your whole intention was to use me" he shook his head "no i needed you i never meant for us to go through all the bad shit i promise"
i shook my head and was about to stand up and walk off but he grabbed my hand "no Niyara just talk i don't care if you scream at me i just want you to talk so i know your not leaving me"
i shook my head i was now vibrating with anger "you use that word me a lot you only worry about yourself and it's sickening you know sometimes i really wish i never met you"
