Formula 1 | One Shots (1)

Black Out Days | Lando Norris

Authors Note: This storyline was requested by: annaxyv 

Done in reader POV ❤️ 
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I wish I could say I was okay. That I could come home from work, shake off the day, and let the pain and frustration evaporate into nothing. But I can't. No matter how hard I try, it lingers... clouding my mind. 

I feel emotionally and physically drained, like I'm running on empty despite giving everything I have. I push forward, I show up, I do my best...yet it never seems to be enough. And honestly, I don't know how much more I have left to give.

Every day, I walk into that damn office knowing exactly how it will go. My boss, his voice always just a little sharper when he speaks to me. The subtle dismissals, the condescending smirks, the constant need to prove myself ten times over for even a shred of respect. 

And even then, it's never enough. My ideas are taken, my successes minimized, my presence treated like an inconvenience in a room full of rich men, who don't think I belong there. 

But I do. I graduated top of my class. I was recruited to work here because I earned it. I have outperformed so many of my male peers, proving my worth over and over again. Yet, instead of recognition, I get dismissive glances, patronizing nods, and a seat at the table that feels more like a courtesy than a right. No matter how much I achieve, the weight of proving myself never seems to lift.

I can feel it, the weight of it sinking into my bones, making me smaller. I hold it in because that's what I've learned to do. Crying about it won't change a damn thing. Complaining? Useless. And so, I bite my tongue, nod through the comments, and keep pushing forward, even as every step feels heavier and heavier.

By the time I get home, I'm done for, in a way that feels like I'm being chipped away at, piece by piece. I don't want to feel like this, but I do. Like I'm falling, losing myself in the everyday routine of going to work, expecting nothing to change and coming back home. 

It's a cycle that swallows me whole, making me question if the fight is even worth it. I used to have fire, ambition, a drive that made me unstoppable. Now, I just feel...tired.

But then there's Lando...my sweet Lando.

He is the one thing in my life that doesn't make me feel like I'm drowning. He looks at me like I am worth something, like I matter...not for what I can prove, not for what I can offer, but simply because I'm me. He is gentle, where the world is cruel. He listens, where others dismiss. He loves me, and God, I love him too.

But he's not here.

He's never here long enough.

I don't blame him. How could I? This is his dream, his life. He's doing what he loves, and I would never, ever ask him to be less just because I need him more. But when he's gone, I feel it like an ache beneath my ribs. Like my heart is caving in on itself. 

The nights are the worst...when the loneliness becomes a physical thing, pressing down until I can hardly breathe. I curl up in bed, staring at the empty space beside me, and I wonder how much longer I can do this.

I don't tell him. I don't want to be another weight on his shoulders, another thing for him to worry about when he has enough already. So I smile when we facetime, tell him I miss him but that I'm okay. And maybe I could have convinced myself it wasn't a lie, until he looked at me the other night, his brow furrowed.

"Is everything okay, love?"

The question shouldn't have unraveled me the way it did. But I froze. Because what was I supposed to say? That I felt like I was slowly breaking? That every day in that office felt like it was carving pieces out of me? That the only time I felt safe, whole, loved, was when he was here?