Jaylen Evans

ISS - 2nd day

I was barely five minutes into my second day of in-school suspension and i already felt like i was going to lose it. The room was smaller today or maybe it just felt that way. The silence wasn't just heavy, it was suffocating. The desk was too hard. The air was too still. The ticking clock was too loud drilling into my skull with every passing second. I bounced my knee under the desk, hands twitching, jaw clenched so tight it ached.

I needed to move.

I needed to do something.

Mr Grayson: Jaylen. Stop that
I forced myself to still my leg but now the energy was just building. I squeezed my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms.
Mr Grayson: Get back to work
I forced myself to look down at the worksheet in front of me. The words swam, twisting and shifting on the page. My head pounded. The harder i tried to focus, the worse it got.
Mr Grayson: Jaylen
Jaylen: what?!
Mr Grayson: stop making things difficult
Jaylen: how?! You're just being a prick and picking on me
I shoved the paper off the desk, my chair scraping against the floor as i shot to my feet
Jaylen: I can't do this!
Mr Grayson: Jaylen sit down
Jaylen: I NEED TO LEAVE!
My whole body felt like it was about to explode.
Mr Grayson: You're not leaving. Sit down now or I'll call principal Sanchez
Jaylen: fuck off!
I walked out. By the time i reached Lena's office my breath was ragged and my vision was blurred. My fists clenched and unclenched at my sides. My skin crawled with frustration, rage, everything. I didn't knock. I just stormed inside, slamming the door behind me

Lena pov
I looks up startled. Jaylen was just standing there shaking with anger and frustration
Lena: Jaylen?
Jaylen: I can't do it! I can't sit still! I can't focus! I can't! I just urgh!
I was on my feet instantly
Lena: Okay. Come here
Jaylen hesitated. Then he collapsed onto the couch. His hands shook. His breath was coming too fast. I sat beside him but didn't touch him. I knew he wasn't ready for that yet.
Lena: What do you need?
Jaylen: I don't know
Lena: Okay. Let's figure it out
I grabbed a small textured ball from my 
desk and held it out
Lena: Squeeze this
Jaylen hesitated before slowly taking it. It seemed to calm him down a little
Lena: good
Jaylen squeezed it again. His breathing slowed.
Lena: You're not in trouble
Jaylen: I walked out of ISS
Lena: I know and I'll talk to Mr Grayson but I'm glad you came here instead of exploding
Jaylen: I told him to fuck off
Lena: Do you want to talk about what happened?
Jaylen: Same thing as yesterday. Couldn't sit still. Couldn't focus. He wouldn't let me move.
Lena: Jaylen this isn't working for you. We need a better plan
Jaylen: Like what?
Lena: Like maybe doing your suspension in here instead of ISS
Jaylen: seriously?
Lena: I'd have to talk to Mr Grayson and principal Sanchez but I know you're not trying to be difficult. You just need different tools to get through this
He looked down at the ball in his hands, squeezing it hard. I gave him some time and we just sat in silence. Jaylen sat on the couch in still gripping the textured ball I'd given him. I sat across from him just waiting for him to speak.
Jaylen: So you really think I can stay here instead of ISS?
Lena: I think it's worth a try
Jaylen: what if they say no?
Lena: Then we fight it but for now let's focus on what we can do to help you get through today
Jaylen exhaled sharply pressing his palms against his forehead
Jaylen: I don't know how to get through today
Lena: Okay. Let's break it down. What do you need right now?
Jaylen: I don't know
We just sat in silence again
Jaylen: I don't know what you want me to say?
Lena: do you need space? To be left alone? Move?
Jaylen: I need to move
Lena: Okay. Let's walk
Jaylen: What?
He looked at me all surprised
Lena: Come on. We'll walk around campus for a bit. Let your brain reset
Jaylen: I thought I was supposed to be punished
Lena: Jaylen suspension isn't about punishment. It's about helping you learn how to handle tough situations but sitting in a tiny room barely moving isn't helping you. It's hurting you
Jaylen: okay
We left the room and was walking silence for a while. I could see that he was calming down. His shoulders slowly relaxed, his hands weren't clenched and his breathing was slower
Lena: Better?
Jaylen gave a small nod.
Lena: Good

We walked another lap before i spoke again. Lena: Can I ask you something?
Jaylen: I guess
Lena: What's the hardest part about school for you?
He looked at me like I was an alien. Like no one has ever taken effort to understand why he is the way he is. Which sadly is probably true.
Jaylen: All of it but nothings gonna change
Lena: if you talk to me maybe i can help you
Jaylen: I mean it's everything you know? The sitting still. The noise. The freaking worksheets with all the words that won't stop moving. It's like I'm fighting my own brain all day, everyday
Lena: That sounds exhausting
Jaylen: mhm
We walked in silence for another minute
Lena: What if we made school work for you instead of against you?
Jaylen: How?
Lena: We try different strategies. Maybe a standing desk. Maybe noise-canceling headphones. Maybe using audiobooks instead of just reading
Jaylen: wait you can do that?
Lena: Of course. It's about accessibility Jaylen. You deserve the same chance to learn as everyone else
Jaylen: I don't know if it'll help
Lena: Then we keep trying until we find something that does