Jaylen Evans

A New School Year

Jaylen pov
Lena: Jaylen come on we gotta go
Jaylen: I'm not going
Lena: Jaylen
I heard footsteps outside my door then a knock at the door
Lena: Jaylen can I come in?
Jaylen: I'm not going
Lena: can I come in so we can talk?
Jaylen: whatever
The door opened and Lena walked in
Lena: what's going on?
Jaylen: I'm not going
Lena: is this because you're gonna be in LSU?
Jaylen: everyone's gonna know that I'm thick and can't handle normal lessons
Lena: Jaylen no one thinks you're thick. Can you just give it a try?
Jaylen: I can't. I can't do it
Lena: you can. If it gets too much you can come and find me
Jaylen: okay
Lena: we're gonna try?
Jaylen: mhm
Lena: get ready and I'll make you some breakfast.
Lena left and I got a quick shower before getting dressed and doing my hair.

I went downstairs and Lena made eggs and bacon with some toast.
Jaylen: thanks
I sat down and started eating
Jaylen: where is everyone?
Lena: Stefs at work and Brandon took everyone to school
I looked at the time
Jaylen: I've made you late
Lena: don't worry about that. Eat your breakfast
I started eating and Lena gave me my meds. I took them and only ate like half my breakfast. I went and brushed my teeth and then we went out to the car. We made our way to school
Lena: it's gonna be okay.
We made our way to school and I felt a wave of anxiety
Jaylen: what if I can't do this?
Lena: you can. I believe in you. This isn't a punishment. This is gonna help you. You've seen the LSU already when you visited with Jay and kelly. You knew this was gonna be an option
Jaylen: I know but it just proves that I'm not like everyone else
Lena: you're not gonna be on your own. There will be a few other kids in there as well.

I hated that feeling. The feeling of being out of place. Here I was, standing in front of a new section of the school the Learning Support Unit. This was different to the main building. This was where they sent kids who couldn't quite fit into the regular classes for whatever reason—kids like me. The sound of students laughing and chatting in the hallways felt distant, like it was happening in another world. Lena had her hand on my shoulder. I could feel my heartbeat in my chest, the thudding pressure only growing as we got closer to the door. I tugged on Lena's sleeve. Jaylen: Are you sure about this? I mean I can just go back to the regular classes. I'll be fine
She looked down at me with that calm, patient smile of hers
Lena: Jaylen I know this is scary but this is a chance for you to get the help you need. You don't have to do it all on your own anymore. It's okay to ask for help
Jaylen: Let's just get it over with
I could see through the window—a few other kids were sitting around inside, talking to a teacher. It didn't seem too bad but everything felt huge to me right now. I was small. I always felt small when I wasn't in control of the situation. Lena knocked gently and the teacher came out
??: You must be Jaylen Evans
I nodded silently, feeling awkward, but not sure what else to do.
??: hey Jaylen I'm mr Malone. I know this is a big change, but we're here to help
I didn't respond immediately. I just stared at the ground, feeling more out of place than I had all day.
Mr malone: you ready to come in?
I shrugged
Mr Malone: I know it's scary but we'll take this one step at a time
I swallowed hard and stepped forward, dragging my feet. Lena gave me a quick hug
Lena: I'm gonna let you get settled in okay? You've got this Jaylen
I nodded, though I didn't feel convinced. Me and mr Malone walked into the classroom
Mr Malone: You can choose where you want to sit. You'll have a couple of other students with you in here but don't worry they're all really friendly
I sat down quickly in the nearest chair not trusting myself to say anything else. I hated this.
The quiet hum of conversations around me made it worse. A girl across the room with short hair and a bright smile waved at me but I just nodded stiffly in return. I couldn't bring myself to do anything else. Mr Malone sat down across from me and placed a folder in front of me, sliding it across the table
Mr Malone: This is your schedule and it has everything you'll need to get started. The other kids in here will help you if you need anything.
I glanced up at him then down at the schedule. I could already feel my anxiety rising again the pressure building in my chest.
Mr Malone: Jaylen. I know this might seem overwhelming but remember that you don't have to do this alone. You've got a lot of people here to help you. And you'll be okay

Lena pov
I watched through the window as Jaylen sat at the desk his hands tightly gripping the edges. I could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his body was hunched in on itself.
Timothy stood beside me
Timothy: it may not seem like it but this is the right choice. He needs the support
Lena: I just wish he didn't have to feel so alone in this. I wish he could just go to a regular class and fit in like everyone else
Timothy. I know but he's not there yet. He needs time. He needs to trust the people here
I could see Jaylen glance over at mr Malone but his face was closed off. I knew that look. It was the mask he wore when he didn't want anyone to see how much he was struggling.

Jaylen pov
The clock on the wall ticked slowly, the seconds dragging on and on. I couldn't concentrate on anything. My head was spinning too fast and I kept hearing the same question over and over again in my mind—What if they don't like me? What if I mess up again? My ADHD was already on overload, my brain jumping from one thought to another before I could grab onto any one of them. My hand was shaking as I fiddled with the edge of the desk, trying to distract myself. Then, I felt someone sit next to me. I looked up to see the girl who had waved earlier. She had a smile on her face, and her brown eyes were warm and inviting
???: Hey. I'm Mia. You're Jaylen, right?
Jaylen: hi
Mia: I've seen you around. You're were in my English class at the start of 7th grade last year. Don't worry, this place isn't as bad as it looks. We all get a little extra help. You'll like it here
Jaylen: I hope so
Mia: Trust me, it gets easier. The teachers are super nice, and the other kids here are cool. If you need anything, just ask
I nodded again, my fingers loosening their grip on the desk. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe this could be a new start. I just had to give it a chance.