𝐈𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 (English)

Chapter 86

The weather outside Beacon was obnoxiously good, the world having failed to receive the message that Ruby Rose was not in the mood for sunshine and rainbows. Angrily, she tore at some grass by her feet and threw it into the air, as if to spite nature itself, but the grass just fluttered down on her knees. Nothing had changed; not the weather, not her mood, and not the general state of the world.

Just another thing I can't do properly.

"So, this is where you are."

Ruby scowled. Of course Yang would find her; she couldn't even succeed at disappearing for a few hours without her sister tracking her down. Grass crunched underfoot as Yang came to stand with her back to the tree Ruby was sat at the foot of. On the opposite side of it, the two of them staring in different directions. Neither spoke. Ruby didn't want to talk, and Yang didn't know how. A life spent bullishly breaking down every problem before her hadn't prepared her for one so delicate.

"I love you," Yang blurted out.

Ruby rolled her eyes but dutifully responded in kind, not wanting Yang to think she didn't. It wasn't like the problem was with Yang. The problem was with her – and with Jaune for being cruel enough to share this with everyone. So much for being one of my best friends. "I love you too, Yang."

"But you don't love yourself...?"

Her teeth gritted together. "I love myself just fine! I'm happy with things as they are." That was a lie. "Or as they were."

"Before I knew that dream we shared was real?"

Stupid Jaune; stupid Semblance; stupid dreams. Ruby snarled and dug her heels into the ground, churning up mud and grass in a futile but destructive haze. She wanted to scream. Things had been great – things had been fine – and then Jaune had to go and ruin it all. Maybe Weiss had been right about him when she first called him a buffoon.

"Yikes. I guess that answers my question there. I just... help me, Ruby. Help me understand."

"What is there to understand?" Ruby groused. "You saw everything."

"I understand why you feel the way you do. I just don't understand how you can." There was a moment of silence, before Yang spoke once more. "Me?" she said, practically a question. "You compare yourself to me?"

"Who else am I meant to?"

"Someone better. Mom."

"Which one? The one that ran away or the one that ran away and died?"

Yang's breathing hitched. Ruby smiled, hoping she'd get angry and say awful things to her. Hoping she would push off the tree and walk away, leaving Ruby to her temper tantrum. Yang did no such thing, of course. She saw through the ruse for what it was – because Yang was perfect like that.

"The good one. Our real mom. But even if you couldn't with her, I just don't see how you can compare yourself to me and come up short. Other than in height."

"And chest size."

Yang laughed, then stopped when she realised Ruby hadn't made a joke. "Does that... Does that actually bother you? Ruby, most guys don't care about them half as much as they pretend to. Girls either. And they're a pain—"

"I'm not jealous of your boobs, Yang."

Not specifically, anyway. Even if she had the same size as Yang, they'd just look inflated and out of proportion on her smaller and slimmer body. That wasn't the point. Yang's size, and her looks, were just one of a million little things that added up. If she'd just been bigger, or prettier, then it wouldn't matter.