Hazed | 5SOS

17

We sat there in silence as he drove. I didn't know where we were going, I didn't care. The whole situation was unnerving. I didn't know what to think, I felt so uncomfortable. I never thought something like that would happen, it seemed too cliche. I just wanted to forget the whole thing happened, it would be okay. Just move on.

"Do you have any hand sanitizer?" I asked, knowing I had to get the ick off me.

"No, I don't think so." He said, "Where do you want to go?"

"I just need to take a nice shower." I said,

"Well our house is a block away if you just wanna go there?" he offered, at the time it sounded better than going back on campus where other people were, or just waiting any longer in general.

"Sure." I said. Sure enough a minute later we pulled into their little houses driveway. I recognized everything as we came in, it all stayed the same except more pizza boxes in the kitchen.

"This is it, our humble abode." He said as he closed the door behind me and threw his keys on their coffee table by the door. That's right he doesn't know I've been here already, whoops.

"Do you guys eat anything other than pizza?" I asked him, shaking my head at the pile,

"Of course! Sometimes we go to the diner." he says, "Here down this hall and to the right is the shower." he explained.

"Thank you."

"Oh wait hold on," he held up a finger and went into his room, he came back out holding clothes of his, "Here, so you don't have to wear those when you come out." he smiled, he was being so nice. I loved it and it made my heart melt.

"Thank you so much, for everything." I told him, he just nodded it off.

"Now go take a shower before I hop in with you." He chuckled, I hesitantly did so. As sex or nakedness was the last thing I wanted to think about.

I locked myself in the bathroom and turned on the shower. I started to strip off the clothes I was wearing, I can't believe all that effort and it really didn't matter, I was only there maybe an hour. I looked at myself in the little mirror over the sink, how could anyone desire this? This was so disgusting. I felt humiliated and embarrassed even in front of myself.

For the first time in a while, I cried when I stepped foot in that shower. I cried for every reason I could think of. My mom, my fucked upness, the fact that Luke probably would never like me enough, that I like someone like Luke, what happened tonight, stress, that Jenna sent me to him, school, future. It all came out. And it sucked. I was just happy no one else would be seeing me this way. I wouldn't be able to handle it if someone saw me sobbing this much.

After I composed myself a little more, I finished washing my hair and dried off using a clean towel. I looked at the clothes Luke gave me, a very large plain dark grey sweatshirt and a pair of his light blue and grey plaid boxers that I had to roll a few times as the fit was so much bigger than me. I wiped the mirror of the fog and looked at myself in his clothes.

I loved how this felt, I felt so cozy and warm. His scent surrounded me, it smelled like a mix of chocolate and cedar that filled my nose with the masculine scent. I stood there for a little bit, just living in it. I knew I had to go home after this, but I just didn't want to. I was a little mad at Jenna and I was so tired.

"Autumn, you okay?" he knocked on the door and it brought me back.

"Y-yeah, yeah I'm coming." I stuttered, I put all my clothes back into my bag, brushed my hair with a comb, and walked out. I was nervous for Luke seeing me like this, my hair wet, my face raw, and in giant clothes again.