Hazed | 5SOS

04

Oh college, it reeked of both hope, dreams, and potential, as well as crushed hopes, dreams, and no potential.

I had calmed my brain down mostly. My first college class. This will be nothing like high school, we're adults now. Grown ups. Its ended.

But if I've learned anything from Bowling For Soup it's that "High School Never Ends".

Well it ends for me. Im growing up. I can't take any stress.

I walked into the fresh smelling class. I was 5 minutes early and walked in with many other of my classmates. I found the perfect spot, 2nd row, I'm not that eager, on the edge behind an empty seat so I can see the board.

It was absolutely flawless. I wished that nobody sat in front of me or next to me or even behind me so I could be completely uninterrupted.

My first class is my Psychology class. Ever since my own diagnosis' I've been so curious about the brain and how people think. I've been so excited for this class.

At least I was, a tall blond popped in, cocky as always. Every girl in the room was drooling I could feel it. I wanted to as well, but I had to hold my ground. He hated me. He didn't like having me in the group. I didn't fit in with someone like him. But most of all I don't know anything about him. He is the definition of sex but he knows it. I hate him.

He made eye contact with me and waltzed to the seat next me,

"Autumn." He nodded, smirking. I wanted to rip his smile off. I felt at least 10 girls eyes shooting bullets at me,

I tugged on my beanie, I wanted to pull it over my face and disappear.

"Are you sure you want to sit next to me? There are plenty of open seats." I said to him blankly, there was. I wasn't lying. This is a small class.

"No, I'm perfectly fine here. Why? Does it bother you?" He raised his eyebrow, "I thought we were friends. Don't you like me?"

Yes

"No. I don't like you-"

"Welcome Class to the first day of the rest of your lives. Stay silent while I call your names." The monotone professor began his roll call.

Luke was shocked, although he tried to cover it up with a cocky look.

When he came in it became the most uncomfortable 3 hour class ever. I tried to pack up slowly, Luke was out in a flash so I didn't worry to much about bumping into him.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and began to walk out of the class.

"Why?" A deep voice startled me, I jumped to see a tall boy waiting across the hall from the room.

"Why, what?" I asked, turning to leave

"Why do you not like me?" He asks.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you hardly know me, why do you not like me?" He asked,

"Like how you barely know me? Last night making all those assumptions about me? You don't like me either. 'I don't fit in with people like you'. Unless that is a sick kind of love you live by.. But you know, unlike you, I don't take pleasure in insulting people. So Good day to you, Hemmings." I nodded,

Outside I walked away sassy, inside I wanted to hide.

~~

I came back to my room after my first class. I texted back my mom saying it was good. Then took a shower.

Jenna wasn't here so I starred at myself in the mirror. I was so pale. Nothing about me was original. I was just an average girl. Invisible. I had ratty hair, tired eyes. Nothing unique. My sense of humor is dull. My passions are irrational. My priorities are fucked. I'm fat as a cow. I am haunted by my old bullies words. All I am is an ugly wart on someones skin that they need to burn off.

I felt the tears coming I grabbed sweatpants, peeled of my shirt to only a sports bra, and climbed under the sheets and cried. Nobody was here so who cares?

Until I heard the lock jiggle.