Somniphobia

Chapter 44. The complete truth

Caleb POV
I walked into the house it was very late and I knew Aria was more than just upset with me. She had every right to be upset with me because I lied to her. I didn't want to lie to her but I didn't know how to explain to her what I did.

Nor did I know how to explain to her who I truly am without her getting freaked out and wanting to leave me out of fear. What scared me even more was the fact that we were having a baby apart of me knew I wouldn't let her go because of the baby.

I also know that this baby will leave her no choice but to stay with me as cruel as that sounds I didn't care because she was mine. This baby was mine and I don't care what she doesn't like about me but that baby is mine just as much as she's mine.

I'm not letting her go and I damn sure not letting her leave me after I tell her the truth. I walked upstairs quietly so I wouldn't wake her up with my loud footsteps. I twisted the door handle to our bedroom.

I walked inside the room noticing that the nightlight was on in the room. She was sleeping on our huge cali king bed with her stuffed animal in her arms. I fucking hated that damn stuffed animal.

I walked towards the bathroom shutting the door quietly as soon as I walked into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and undressed myself from the bloody clothes I had on.

I need to get rid of these damn clothes and all this blood. I threw all my clothes in the small trash can beside the toilet before I got into the shower.

The warm, cold water pouring over my very tense body immediately relaxed as I watched the dried blood all over my skin slowly wash off of me and rush down the drain.

There was so much blood you'd think it was mine...

I grabbed the shampoo scrubbing my hair roughly with my hands. I was stressed but at the same time I wasn't because I know no matter how this situation ends she's going to be mine.

I still felt afraid of losing her but I kept reminding myself that she was mine, she only had me especially now after what I did she literally only had me.

You see I'm not a normal man I seem like one but that's only because I'm really good at making it seem like I'm a good and pretty normal kinda guy.

Not everything is rainbows and sunshine. I'm not very nice especially to people who fuck with me. I'm in the Mafia, I'm a CEO of a few companies but there's something else about me that only a few people know about me.

And other people know about me or heard and rumored about me. I have a very deadly obsession with killing and murdering people. I love killing, feeling, smelling, and seeing death.

I'm what you would call a psychopath, a cold blooded killer, maybe even a monster but I don't kill innocent people I have a strict rule.

I only kill people who deserve to die, to be tortured to death like rapist, pedophiles, murders who kill innocent people, people who need to be killed because of obvious reasons. I will never kill an innocent person unless I absolutely have to. 

I've gone to many therapist even Ron has tried helping me but all I can say is I'm fucked up in the head and there's no cure for me. The only thing I can do is control myself and my urges to kill.

I learned to discipline myself very well but I get triggered easily especially when a woman touches me. I'm easily triggered by a woman's touch because of what my mother did to me but that's a long story for another time.

And no I'm not gay I've always been very certain about my sexuality. The only woman I seem to be able to handle is Aria's, sounds cliché but honestly in the beginning I couldn't stand it when she touched me like every other woman's touch.

But as I got to know her I slowly forced myself to tolerate her touch and I'm slowly falling in love with her touch especially her fucking voice. Her fucking voice does something to me so heavenly and unholy at the same time.

Something about her just makes me feel alive, she makes my heart feel things I never felt before. She brings out new emotions I haven't felt since I was a toddler it pisses me off sometimes when she brings out these new emotions.

But then I realize I wouldn't feel this way if she didn't mean something to me and I'm still trying to learn the proper way to love her because falling in love is very new to me.

So new to me I never felt so in love with someone in my life until I met her. I was learning and teaching myself so many new things for her I felt ridiculous and stupid sometimes.

Lets face it I never fell in love before, I always told myself no one would love my crazy ass and honestly I know I don't deserve love. I'm way too fucked up in the head to fall in love but with her I can't fucking help it.

I hate it but I fucking love it, i'm addicted, I'm obsessed, I'm fucking intrigued and consumed by her to the point I have no control of my heart anymore. She has control of my heart, my heart did not belong to me anymore.

It belonged to her and only her that's how fucking loyal I am to this woman. Not to sound cocky but usually after I sleep with a woman she either ends up dead or kicked out right after.

They only end up dead if they touch me after I specifically told them not to or somehow manage to get their hands free from the rope or cuffs I use on them.

I try to be nice but it doesn't always end up going right. Before she came into my life I had a different woman beneath me, I was definitely a hoe I'm not happy with that but it's the truth.

Woman practically fall to their knees for me so it wasn't hard for me to get with someone but since I met Aria I've felt so many emotions I still don't understand.

I've become worried and afraid of losing her. She's constantly on my mind, I crave her touch and I miss hearing her voice constantly. Since I met her I haven't looked at another woman or even thought of being with another woman.

I simply want her and only her. My heart needs her and craves her attention like I need oxygen in order to live. She makes my blood boil and my heart rate to go through the roof but I fucking love it.

She keeps me on my toes, there's never a dull moment with her. She's constantly keeping me busy and my mind racing with thoughts of impressing her and making sure she was okay or if she needed me to help her with something.

I wanted to help her and be there for her for everything and anything. I rinsed off my body and hair once I finished up scrubbing my hair and skin roughly to make sure I was as clean as possible before I went near her.

I didn't want another persons blood anywhere near her. I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping the towel securely around my torso. I walked out the bathroom when I noticed her sitting on the bed wide awake.

I could tell she had been crying and it was my fault I knew very well that I was the cause of her precious little tears and I fucking hated knowing that. I hated seeing her cry and it was like a stab straight in my heart knowing I was the cause to her tears.

"Princess." I called for her softly. A single tear rushed down her cheek as she stared at me. "W-Where w-were y-you? Y-You l-lied t-to m-me." She cried out sadly.

I walked over to her quickly, sitting beside her on the bed. I pulled her onto my lap wiping her tears away for her. "I'm sorry I didn't wanna lie to you baby but I had to. I'm going to tell you the truth I promise princess." I apologized to her.

I really wanted her to believe me but I knew she wasn't going to believe me that easily after I clearly lied to her.

I fucked up big time but I was going to fix this one way or another. I wasn't going to lie to her again it was time for me to be honest with her and get this off my chest.

She accepted me being in the Mafia there was a high chance she would accept that I'm not as normal as I made it seem.

But I wasn't sure about how she would react to me telling her the reason I lied and was gone for almost three days was because I was torturing her parents....

To be continued...