Heartbreaker (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 31

~Madison Williams~

I ran as far as my legs could physically take me. My lungs were burning and I could barely feel the muscles in my legs before I collapsed onto the rough pavement. A lump formed in my throat and I attempted desperately to breathe but my throat felt like it was caving in as I sat sobbing in the dark alley.

They say that history repeats itself. I didn't believe it then, but seeing as I'm left alone in an alley shedding tears over the same purpose as I did years ago, I could say that life is only a song played on a continuous loop. At first, the song is beautiful and you feel a kind of joy as you consume every lyric and tune. Then eventually, it is over-played and tiring to hear. My life was a hell that I couldn't escape, and now I'm stuck with the bitter aftertaste.

I could remember all the details as if I had written and memorized my own script. The images were all too vivid for me too handle.

"You know that I love you, right?" He whispered against my neck, his hot breath leaving traces of goose bumps.

I nodded, "You've been telling me that for a while now."

"Because it's true." He spoke in a hushed voice.

A lump formed in my throat as he stood up and locked the door to his bedroom. He turned back to face me with a slight smirk. I was sat on his bed in silence before his lips caught me off guard. He began kissing me desperately before he took off his shirt. I gulped and pulled away.

"Andrew-" I tried to catch my breath. "I can't do this."

"Nonsense." He insisted before he reconnected our lips and tugged at the zipper of my jeans.

"Andrew-"I attempted once more only to be cut off.

I pulled away once again. "I can't do this." I repeated, "Damn it, Andrew. We're only 16. I don't want to. This isn't right!"

"Do you love me?" He asked gravely as he stared directly into my eyes.

"Of course I do." I answered.

"So then what's your problem?" He asked angrily, his jaw tense and his teeth clenched. "You're not ready? Or do you just not love me?"

"No, that's not true. You know I do but I don't want to do this. I'm not ready Andrew."

"Not ready, huh?" He retorted before he got up.

"Andrew, wait-" I grabbed onto his wrist. "You aren't mad, are you? You can't force me, you have to understand that."

"Force you?" He snapped as he shook my grip off and grabbed me by the hair. "You're the shittiest girlfriend, you know that?"

He grabbed onto my forearm as he continued to speak, "I shouldn't even have to even ask you but you only leave me one choice." The skin around his grip became pale white as he cut off the circulation. "Bitch." He muttered under his breath before throwing me across the room. I was slammed against the wall before I fell to the cool tiled floor.

"You know what I think?" He questioned, "I think, you slept with other guys but you refuse to do the same with me."

"I don't know what you're talking about-" I managed to choke out.

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled before kicking me in the gut. I flinched before a groan of pain escaped my lips.

He sighed, crouching down to reach my level. He held my face in his hands as he caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"Now we're going to try this again, do you love me?"

I nodded in silence before his lips attacked mine. His arms surrounded my aching body and his tongue forced their entrance.

"I love you," I said, "But I know now, that you don't." I kicked him as hard as I could before sprinting down the hall.

"You bitch!" He yelled as he caught a hold of me and dragged me down the stairs. Tears fell down my cheeks as I screamed hopelessly.

"You no-good bitch!" He yelled as he threw a punch to my stomach. "Maybe now you'll learn your lesson."

"Andrew! Andrew, please no!" I begged.

He pinned me down with one leg at each of my side. "Don't worry babe, you're going to enjoy this." He whispered deviously as he ripped off my blouse.

"Andrew!" I continued to whimper as he tugged at my jeans. His smirk grew wider as he laid his hands on my bare skin. Without any energy left in my frail little body, all I could do was scream and shout as I was forced out of my will.

A part of me was lost that night, but I guess the absence of that piece left me with nothing. That loss cut a scar so deep that my very existence would have to carry. A part of me died that night, my entire self was lost that night.