Heartbreaker (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 38

~Madison Williams~

I stood in my misty washroom staring through the full-sized mirror in front of me. A bandage covered the thin diagonal line where the blade had once ran along. I had died over and over again because of Andrew, but if not for Andrew, I would have died last night. I ran my finger over the bandage, certain that by the time I would remove it, a scar would find its place. I walked to my bedroom, searching for something in my closet that could cover the area where my cut was displayed. I had applied makeup above the purple patches that blushed to my cheeks. I threw on a black, high-neck mini dress with heeled ankle boots.

Glancing at the time on my phone, it was 6:45 pm. Ashton was expected to come in around 15 minutes. With a sigh, I plopped onto the couch, a glass of red wine in my right hand.

Poll
Kevin Anderson- 48.5%
John Smith- 22%
Steve Wilson-15%
Remaining undecided*

I shook my head in denial, he wasn't going to be mayor and I was going to make sure of it. I pulled out my laptop and sat it on the coffee table in front of me. My fingers punched in the keys, typing the letters of the name I was searching for. There had to be a way to contact him; a cell phone number, an email- anything. I got up from my spot on the couch and into the storage room. Laid somewhere in the scratched wooden drawers was the thick, yellow book I was searching for.
"Found it." I muttered under my breath.
My eyes searched through the names listed in the phone book until I landed on one John Smith.

I bit my lip, hoping that he would pick up his phone. I sighed when the phone had stopped ringing and I had been greeted by a recording. Deciding to leave a message, I cleared my throat to speak.
"Hi, I'm calling for John Smith. I am calling to tell you important information about mayoral candidate Kevin Anderson. Please call me back. Thank you."
I pressed the button on my land line and hung up the phone. Once John Smith discovers the truth about Kevin Anderson, there is no way Kevin will be able to win the election.

"Madison," Ashton stood at the door with a smile. I stood aside from the door way to let him step in. Closing the door behind him, I followed him to the living room and sat on the couch.
"I got your missed call. What did you want to say?" I asked, pouring another glass of red wine and placing it in front of him.
"I have good news," he announced emphatically, "It's about our band meeting."
"Really?" I smiled as a took a sip of my drink, "something we have to celebrate isn't it?"
He nodded, "I'm sure you're going to be excited."
"That big of a deal?"
He looked at me with a wide grin. "It's huge news for the band. We're pretty freaked out about it. It's bigger than our gig for the mayor."
"He isn't the mayor," I corrected, "The election is next week."
"Not yet, no. But he's going to be mayor. At least, he's the one I'm placing my vote for."
I sat staring at the boy in front of me, wishing he could only know who he was talking about. Along with the joy, he had the oblivion of a child. He allowed appearance to deceive him but yet he couldn't do the same with me. His judgement was flawed due to his oblivion and the only thing I could think was, "if you only knew."
"Listen," I licked my lips as I contemplated my speech, "I have something to tell you too."
"What is it?" He asked; concern rising in him as he analyzed my tone.
"I-" I bit my lip as I shook my head.
"Hey," he cooed, "It's okay." He placed his hand over mine, rubbing comforting circles at the back of it.
"You can tell me," He spoke softly, placing a soft kiss on my left cheek. He placed his finger under my chin, lifting it up so I could look at him. His soft, warm hazel eyes stared back at me with an encouraging concern; a sight I would miss after the night was over. I let my eyes roam to his gentle lips. Those lips that said too much without letting a word slip from them. Those lips that stretched into wide, genuine grins accompanied by a set of dimples on each side.
"I-I'm breaking up with you" I managed to say, moving my hand away from Ashton's touch.
For a moment, he looked at me blankly, unable to utter a word or even hold an expression. I stood up, facing away from Ashton.
"I've been meaning to for a while now," I admitted, "I just haven't gotten the chance until now."
The room was silent; a consuming sound I had despised the most. I folded my hands in front of me, leaning against a side table waiting for Ashton to say something-anything. I bit my lip, unsure of what to do. It felt like the whole apartment was frozen still in motionless silence. I looked down at my boots, unable to turn around and face Ashton.
"Why?" He spoke under his breath, grabbing my wrist.
I didn't speak a word in response. I just remained facing the opposite wall, ignoring the question laid in front of me.
He stood up from the couch, stepping a few inches in front of me. I held my face down, unable to look into his eyes.
"Tell me." He said in a low tone, holding each of my shoulders. "Go ahead and tell me."
A tear slipped down from the corner of his eye as he looked straight at me, "Tell me," his voice barely a whisper, "tell me that there's another guy. Tell me that you're sick of me, that this was all a game but don't tell me that you're just leaving because I won't accept that."
I shook my head, "No, Ashton-"
"You know I'd be fine if there was someone else. My friends have been trying to convince me that there was," he admitted,
"and you know, even if there was one, I wouldn't care. I would still be right there."
"No, Ashton. You don't need to do that."
"I know," he said looking straight at my eyes, "but I do it anyway."
I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I turned away.
"Madison come on." He grabbed my wrist, "you won already, I get it. You warned me not to fall for you but I said I would risk it, didn't I? You won, okay? You won."
He held both of my hands, "Why do you even do this? I'm right here. You can break me over and over again and I'd still be here."
He balled my hand up into a fist, holding it to his chest, "go ahead. I won't get tired of it. If this is what you want, I'm letting you."
I shook my head, "No. No, you don't get it-"
"What? Isn't this what you want?" He asked, "go ahead and hurt me if that will make you feel better."
"It's not even about breaking your heart anymore!" I yelled out.
"Then why?" He pleaded, "why do you do this? Why do you do this to me?"
"Ashton it's not about me it's about you, okay? It's about you."
"What's wrong with me, huh? Because I'm younger than you? Am I just annoying you-"
I shook my head, the tears escaping my eyes, "No."
"Then what?" He held onto me as he forced me to look him in the eye.
"Ashton, don't you see?" I bit my lip to steady it, "You don't deserve a girl like me. In all honesty, I don't know why you're even with me right now. Look at you, Ashton. You deserve so much better but here you are, chasing after a piece of shit."
He shook his head, "No, no don't say that-"
"It's true Ashton!" I exclaimed, my knees dragging me down. "One day you're going to wake up and realize this was all a silly little game. That it meant nothing and you were just wasting your time on some slut you could just pick up at a bar. One day, you're going to wake up and realize that you deserve more and leave me, just like the others. They all leave. That's why I need to leave you before you wake up to that day."
He stood silent again, his cheeks wet with the tears sliding down them.
"To be honest, I was surprised that it didn't happen earlier. I thought it should have happened a long time ago but it didn't. It didn't happened and honestly, I prayed for the day you would realize it. Because I- I just couldn't wrap my head around the thought of you doing this for someone you barely knew. Someone that didn't deserve you, someone that didn't even care or appreciated the things you do for her. Why Ashton? Why do you do it?"
He shook his head slowly in disbelief, "you can't tell me you don't know. Madison-"
He sighed, holding my face in his hands. "I love you." Ashton confessed.
I shook my head in denial, "No you don't."
"Madison, it's true. I'm in love with you. I love you so much to the point where I'm not even sure if it's sane."
"No, Ashton!" I snapped. "No, you don't!"
He sighed. "Why is it so hard to believe that I love you?"
"Because," I explained. "You can't. You can't possibly love a girl like me."
"But I do."

"I was never planning on leaving you," He spoke softly, caressing my cheek with his thumb. "I love you, Madison. I love you and I'm not planning on leaving you."
A frown still tugged at the corner of my lips, unconvinced of what he was trying to tell me. "You can say that now, but that doesn't mean you'll mean it tomorrow or a month from now. I've heard those words before Ashton. And besides, I'm not the kind of girl to be proud of. I'm not the girl you bring home to show your parents. I'm not the girl who you can date freely without being subject to rumors. I'm not the girl who will give you and your band good attention when the time comes Ashton. What the hell do you think everyone is going to say about you hanging around sluts? Rumors are going to start circulating Ashton. I don't deserve you."
"Well then I don't care what they think!" He said truthfully, "damn them all but all I know is that I love you and I'm serious."
He said as he reached into his pocket, digging for something inside, "I've been thinking about this for a while now Madison and you're the only one. I don't want to lose you."
He pulled out a red, velvet box from his pocket. I felt a lump in my throat as I gulped at the sight, at what I couldn't believe I was seeing. He slowly pulled the box open, revealing the shining diamond that sparkled from its circular seat.
"Ashton-" I said speechlessly as I stared at the ring.
"I was going to propose to you next week." He confessed, taking the ring out of its case. "I know you just broke up with me but, what do you say?"
Tears fell one after another, rolling down my cheeks as they left their wet trails. "Ashton, I can't."
"Please," He said, holding the ring between his fingers as he held them in front of me. "I want you to wear this ring."
Slowly, he slipped the circular jewelry around my finger, as if it belonged there.
"As long as you wear this ring, I know I'll still have hope. That we still have hope." He placed his lips on the back of my hand, kissing them gently. "As long as you wear this ring, I know not to give up on you."
I nodded my head, "Okay."
He smiled weakly, holding my face in his hands once more as his hurt eyes looked at me for the last time, "I love you," he repeated, "and I live for the day when I get to hear you say it back."

Taking his sweater and throwing it onto his arm, he turned around and left.