Castiel's brothers were quietly talking to themselves about what was happening while Dean was in the bathroom with him. They were nervous and confused. They didn't know what was happening or what would happen.
"We're safe right?" Gabriel asked his brother in a hushed tone.
"I think so, if Castiel took us here it has to be, he wouldn't hurt us." Balthazar looked at his brother and took a deep breath. "He isn't Michael." Gabriel nodded and twisted his fingers together, his knee was bouncing up and down with anxiety, and he was biting his lip. "Gabe, what's wrong?" Balthazar asked. The younger brother looked up, his eyes were filled with fear.
"Are we going to get separated?"
Balthazar didn't know if they were or not. He knew that not many Foster families could take in three teenagers, and even if they tried to stay together Castiel would turn eighteen and the he could file for custody, but considering how that went for them, there's going to be some pretty big doubts in the judges mind. Plus before Castiel turged eighteen would allow time for them to be separated or god knows what else. Balthazar -in the end- decided it was better for Gabriel not to know about those facts though.
"No," it was a bit unsure, "no," he said firmer. "We are going to be okay, we are going to be together." Gabe seemed a little bit better when he nodded his head.
Balthazar tried not to think of Michael. Or the hitting. Or the moving away. Or the two times Castiel ran into the car and yelled for him to drive. He didn't want to think of it. Had he known Michael was hitting Castiel? No. Was there part of him that thought there was a chance? Well, he knew Michael could get rough sometimes. But had he ever thought Michael could hit him across the face? No. Yet it had happened. That was quite possibly the exact moment he decided he despised his brother. He wondered how long Michael had been hitting Castiel. He couldn't believe Castiel stood up to Michael, stood between them acting as a shield.
Castiel came out of the bathroom a minute later, his face was clean, and he had a neutral expression. Balthazar and Gabriel looked over, he gave a small smile. Moments after, Dean came out and told the three of them that he was going to go talk to Bobby. Castiel nodded and sat down in one of the empty chairs. He sighed and leaned his elbows on the table, then rested his chin in his hands. He didn't know what to do.
None of them knew what to do.
Suddenly a wave of anxiety and complete and utter hopelessness washed over Castiel. He was used to the feeling, sure, he'd experienced small doses of it from time to time, but not like the shear force that just hit him, he hadn't expirences this harsh of a feeling for a long while. He panicked and his heart was doing this heavy, fast pounding that made his chest feel like it was vibrating. He sucked in a deep breath, trying to act natural as he stood up and told his brothers he had to get his bag from the car.
Castiel was fast to get to his car and take his backpack. He dug through it and took the familiar orange bottle out. He shook it, knowing there was only one more pill left. He looked at it, the fear was digging it's tendrils into the back his mind, he sighed and shook his head. He knew it was wrong, he knew he shouldn't, but he just wanted to feel calm again. He just wanted to feel like he could control his own fucking life for once. He wanted to feel like he could actually help his brothers...
He unscrewed the cap and downed the pill.
He was disappointed in himself. He knew he couldn't control himself, the pills were doing that. Or maybe Michael had been the one controlling him... them, for so long.
Doesn't matter. Castiel thought to himself. I'm outta pills and I'm not gonna see Michael again. The last sentence got across his mind before he heard a footstep crunch on the gravel behind him. He glanced out of the cother of his eye to see Dean. Castiel sucked in a deep breath and tucked the empty medicine bottle in his bag. He turned his head to Dean, almost as a sort of greeting. Dean started to walk closer.
"I thought you stopped." It was about the pills. Of course it was about the god dammed pills, why the hell does he even care what I do? Castiel gave an exasperated huff of breath.
"Yeah, well..." He trailed off, waving his hand in the air. Dean stepped closer.
"Do your brothers know?" Castiel closed his eyes and groaned.
"Doesn't matter. That was the last one." Dean was right next to him now, he looked in his eyes for a moment, then leaned back against the hood of Castiel's beat up car. He stuck out his hand, which recived a confused glare from Castiel. The meds were kicking in and his mind was getting a bit fuzzy. "What?" The word came out harsher than intended, but in the scheme of things Castiel didn't quite care.
"Give me the bottle."
Castiel huffed and reached into the pocket of his backpack to pull out an empty orange bottle. Dean snatched it up and dropped it to the floor, Castiel was wondering what he was doing and was about to ask before Dean's boot came down on it, sending little cracked orange plastic shards flying.
"That was unnecessary." Castiel said. Dean shrugged and stuck his hand out again. "What now?" Castiel asked. "I don't have anymore pills, or anymore bottles for you to crush." Dean looked over like he didn't buy it. "Seriously, Dean." Castiel put his arms up to show his innocence.
"The pot, Cas." He deadpanned. Castiel had a moment of awe because he had forgotten all about the herb. He went back into his pack and pulled out a plastic Baggie filled with what looked like oragano. Castiel placed it in Dean's outstretched hand.
"I don't think it crushes easily." Castiel told him. Dean rolled his eyes.
"I'm going to burn it." Dean returned, pocketing the substance.
"Isn't that what you're trying to stop me from doing?" Dean looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Cas, go back to your brothers."
Castiel went to turn, in fact he did, a little. He only got about 90 degrees around before he turned back to Dean, his eyes looked sad.
"Are you going to leave?" He asked. Dean didn't understand.
"What?"
"Are. You. Going. To. Leave." Dean furrowed his brows.
"No, Cas. No, I'm not. I'll be right behind you, okay?" Castiel nodded and turned back to the house, walking toward the door.
He's high. Dean thought as part of his heart ached to have seen Castiel with that lost, hopeless face he had on. He didn't want Castiel to ever look like that ever again.
YOU ARE READING
Tutoring (Destiel)
Fanfiction"So, I know Mr. Shurley said this was for English," Dean spoke, making Castiel's stomach flutter. How could a voice do that? He thought. "But I was going to ask you to- uh-" he rummaged in his backpack and took out a crumbled piece of paper. "Do you...
