School // j.g. c.c.

Twelve

Camila

16 days, 4 hours, and 14 minutes since we last spoke.

But who's even counting?

Oh right, me.

God, I am so stupid for letting him go.

I have tried to talk to him, but I think Jack Gilinsky seriously hates my guts.

And I mean hates.

I sighed, closing my locker and adjusted the grip on my notebooks.

And also to add to the lovely equation, Jack I guess is going out with someone junior.

Madison Beer.

It seriously fucking sucks because she's way prettier than me, is liked by almost everyone and-

Basically she's the opposite of me.

Go me.

I fucking suck.

Johnson and Sam were telling me about how much Jack is really nice to her, and how nice Madison is and going on and on about that little relationship or whatever it is.

And honestly it fucking kills me.

It feels almost like a slap in the face too, because Jack met her the night of our fight.

If I wouldn't have let him leave that stupid hallway maybe I wouldn't be feeling so shitty.

I've made a lot of stupid decisions, and I think letting him go was my biggest mistake.

Maybe I should try and talk to him.

But then again, I have tried approximately 4 times and he has brushed me off every single time.

I'm honestly one of the dumbest people on the planet when I think about it.

He treated me so good, and then I was just a total bitch.

Why do I always have to push people away?

I hate myself for that.

I hate myself for a lot of things but-but that isn't the point right now.

I turned the hallway corner and collided into someone.

I fell backwards, and landed on the cold floor.

I was late to class, like usual and the hallway was dead silent.

Well, until this even that just occurred.

"Shit, I'm sorry-"

The all too familiar voice cut off and I looked up at Jack.

"Never mind." He shook his head, walking past me.

What the hell?

What an ass.

"God, fuck you." I said rising to my feet.

"You know what? Fuck you Camila." He pointed at me.

I let out a deep breath, and chased after him.

"Just listen to me Jack." I grabbed his hand.

He yanked it away, furrowing his eyebrows at me.

He looked at me like he didn't even know me, like I was a complete stranger trying to grab his hand.

"Jack." I repeated.

"Why would I want to here anything-"

"It was a Saturday night," I cut him off. He slowly pulled his eyebrows together, but I kept going.

"We were leaving early from a banquet, and I just got done arguing with my parents about how Fifth Harmony was going on a summer tour around the country, and they were so angry because they wanted me to spend the summer just with them," tears began to fill my eyes.

"I thought they were being selfish and I could make my own decisions....maybe bringing up my summer plans at a banquet for my fathers work wasn't such a good idea...." A tear escaped my eye.

"My dad turned to the back seat to look at me for just one second, just to tell me that he doesn't want me to go, and then a drunk driver basically took care of the rest."

Jack's eyes softened, and I felt his fingers intertwine with mine, his touch was so soft and gentle.

"But....but I killed them Jack, and put my sister in a coma, now I-I freaking killed my parents Jack." I squeezed my eyes shut, holding in more tears.

"Jack, I have fucked up so many times. So, so many times. But, can you please just give me another chance? You're the only person in this fucking world that makes me feel something worth living, and you're the first person I have ever even opened up to. Jack, I'm in love with you and I'm so stupid to have not realized it and said it before."

Jack slowly let go of my hand and sighed.

"Camila, I-I can't. I'm sorry but-but Madison....she makes me feel something-"

Oh.

Wow I'm an idiot.

"Something stronger, and better than what I made you." I filled.

"No, Camila-"

"Forget it," I wiped a tear from my eye. "Forget I said anything, Jack." My voice cracked.

"Camila, wait-"

"Why should I Jack? I know I wasn't enough for you. And, if she really does make you happy....th-then you deserve it. Just....forget I said anything." I said, walking away.

"Camila, I didn't say any of that-"

"But you don't have to Jack, that's the thing! I-I'm just happy your happy." I tried to fake a smile.

"You're not happy obviously-"

"Forget any of this even happened Jack. You deserve to be happy."

"I wanted to be happy with you."

"But see, the past tense is what's really fucking upsetting me."

His face fell, and he realized I think that maybe I'm just not what he wants anymore.

It's now Madison.

"Camila, I don't know who I want."

"If you were actually in love with me, you wouldn't have even pictured anything with Madison. Believe me I knew you had feelings for me...don't get me wrong, but...maybe the feelings just weren't as strong as you thought."

He seemed to grow frustrated and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Stop being like this Camila."

"Being like what? I'm just saying what's true."

"I never said I pictured anything with Madison-"

"I see the way you look at her!" I yelled. I breathed heavier, gasping for more air as a tear streamed down my cheek. "I know, because that's how you used to look at me."

It hurt to say the truth out loud, it feels 100 times worse than even just thinking about it in my head.

I've tried to deny it all, but I finally said it out loud and it hurt me so bad.

It truly feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest, and broken into pieces.

"Camila, stop talking so crazy, you don't know what your saying-"

"I do."

Then, I walked away and just left him in the hallway alone.

×××××××××××××

Be prepared for next chapter oh my god.....DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA.... ITS CRAZY

I'm sorry for the lack of updates, I can assure you in the next month I will be updating more frequently. I'm so sorry for the wait that's why I updated twice!!!

What if I updated again oh my god should I?

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