School // j.g. c.c.

Fifteen

Jack

Hawks Point was a lookout spot Camila showed me in one of the first few weeks I met her.

She described it as her happy place, where she could just look out over the city and find peace and calm herself down.

I never would have pictured this as her suicide spot.

God, I came in time.

I dashed out of my car and ran over to Camila.

She was standing on a concrete wall, looking out over the city.

If she jumped, she'd be dead on impact.

The lookout was basically a cliff, and the wind was blowing her hair out of her face.

"Camila, get the hell down now." I demanded.

"Why should I Jack? I am not wanted here?"

"What about me? I need you."

"You have Madison now, Jack. Things are different now." Her eyes fixed on the sunset.

"That doesn't mean I want you to fucking die Camila! You have lost your fucking mind-"

"I lost it long before you came here Jack." She cut me off, and her voice cracked.

"Look at me Camila!" I yelled.

She ignored me and just stared with her eyes looking out at the city.

"Look at me!" I yelled again.

She slowly turned her head and her eyes locked with mine.

"Camila, I fucking love you. I would never be the same if you were gone. No one would. I swear to God, I have loved you since the day we met when I ran into you. It's always been you Camila. No one else."

She sniffled and turned her head back away.

"You have moved on-"

"No I haven't. I-I never did I don't care that I had to wait for you. I know I said I couldn't wait forever, but I'd do anything for you."

She didn't say anything, but sniffled again.

"I took you for granted.....I was an asshole.....but God damn you're the fucking love of my life and I can't live without you. I would be so lost if you left me Camila. Please don't do this."

"You're saying all of this because of the situation right now, it's not like you mean it-"

"What about your sister?!" I yelled, cutting her off.

Silence lapsed, and a breeze hit, and leaves rustled in the trees.

"Don't bring her up Jack-"

"How do you think she'd feel if she got a call saying you committed suicide? You know how heart broken she would be?"

"Do not bring her up Jack, she has nothing to do with this-"

"But she does Camila, you still have me. You still have your sister, and Dinah, and Sam, and Sprayberry, and Shawn....you have a family still here. I would never forgive myself if you were gone. Don't leave me. Please." 

It was all in one motion, it happened so fucking quickly.

I wanted to cry, but I didn't.

Camila stepped closer off the wall, and if she stepped off one more inch, she'd be dead.

But I held her back.

My arms wrapped tight around her, protecting her.

My heart raced, and I couldn't slow it down right now in this moment.

My arms were so tight around her waist, and she had her hands on my arms.

Both of us were breathing, heavy. Looking down below.

It was such a deep drop, she'd probably already be dead before she even hit the ground.

"Jack," her voice cracked. "I'm sorry." She cried.

I pulled her off the small wall, and she wiped her tears off her cheeks in frustration.

"Why the fuck am I crying?" She mumbled, angry.

"It's okay to cry-"

"Jack, I'm a mess. I can't be fixed." She sobbed.

"I'll fix you."

"How? How can you fix me? I've lost my mind and I-I don't know if I'll ever find it again-"

"I'll help you find it." I stepped closer to her.

"I'm hopeless, Jack. I-I am a ticking time bomb, and I am so-so difficult. I hold you back and you even said it so yourself-"

"I never meant that. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're my favorite person of all time."

"I can't be healed, I'm-Im to scared to fall in love."

"But you already have. Right?"

She quickly nodded, "I'm scared to love someone again and then they'll just leave me."

"I would never leave you."

"But I'm scared of-of giving someone my all and they just end up taking advantage of it."

"I could never take advantage of you. I love you too much to ever hurt you."

"Jack, I'm a horrible idea."

"I don't think so."

"Just.....just please take me home." She said, backing away from me.

"Why are you backing up? Are you scared of me?"

"I'm scared of the way you make me feel, Jack. And-and you have Madison now. She'll make you happy."

"You're the one I want."

"Then why did you choose Lauren over me? Or once the next best thing comes along you left?"

"Madison and Lauren aren't you. You're the best thing that's happened to me. I can't forget how you make me feel-"

"I don't trust words anymore Jack. I trust actions. And the way you chose Lauren and Madison over me felt like a knife to the stomach."

"You're the one I think of right when I go to bed and right when I wake up. When it's three in the morning and I can't sleep I'm too busy of thinking of what could've been with you. I can't sleep at three in the morning because I keep playing the memory of us meeting over and over in my mind."

"You only want me when you're lonely. I will not be a second option to you-"

"I saved your life. Me. Not-not Dylan, or Shawn, or Sam, or anyone else. I saved your life because I can't live without you!" I yelled.

"Maybe you need to learn how to."

My right hand was placed on her cheek, and my thumb wiped a tear streaming down her cheek.

"Give me a chance."

"I can't." Her voice cracked, as a tear fell.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "But.....I can't kiss you. It will change everything-"

"Let me love you, Camila. Don't push me away."

She looked up at me, and that's when I kissed her.

Her lips were soft and warm, I couldn't explain what I felt when my lips were on hers.

But it made me feel so alive, like this is so worth living. I was obsessed with this feeling now all of the sudden.

She didn't pull away, she kissed me back.

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