Jack
You know, sometimes when I'm so drunk and my knees are weak and I can barely walk, I still look down at my hands to see how softly ours touched. Everything is over now and I still can't stop thinking about the way our hands touched.
Boy am I an idiot.
I think I really hit her hard when I said there's nothing to come back here for anymore, because no matter how hard the truth hits her or me, or anyone else, things aren't the way they used to be.
Were are not meant for each other and maybe we never were.
Because she's happy with her new boyfriend, I mean isn't she?
Sometimes she doesn't like to talk about him and the past few days I have learned that.
She's came to visit me everyday at the hospital for the past three days and given me the homework from school and brings me takeout Chinese, and we just sit and talk.
I know it's wrong, but I need someone to keep me company during these lonely hours.
After she leaves I remember that I am sitting here in this hospital waiting for my dad to wake up which may never happen.
I forget everything bad around me when she comes here.
I wonder what Camila thinks of this.
I know this is just for pity, if my dad wasn't in a coma there would be no reason for her to even exchange a glance at me.
I don't know if she's doing this because she misses me, or maybe she's just doing this because of my dad.
Right now I'm sitting on the waiting room floor with her eating takeout Chinese, again, and doing my homework while Camila eats and watches me.
"Cameron doesn't care about us you know....hanging out?" I turned to her.
She looked down and stared playing with her food.
"He....doesn't exactly know." She spoke barely above a whisper.
"Are you scared of him-"
"No." She quickly cut me short.
I looked down at her hands and they looked once so gentle but now they look bruised and she always wears long sleeves now.
"Are you okay?" I asked staring down at her arms.
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I mean, your hands they-"
"I got mad and punched a wall, it was stupid." She shifted looking uncomfortable.
"You said that last time." I pointed out.
"Yeah, things happen." She glanced at me and I could see the worry in her eyes growing.
"Let me see your arms." I demanded.
"What? No." She glared.
"Why not?"
"Cause I don't want you to touch me." She was getting defensive.
"I don't have to touch you, I just want to look."
"I don't care, it's my body and I don't want you to look."
"It's your arms not your god damn ass now roll up your sleeves." I demanded again.
"No, Jesus Christ Jack just leave me alone."
"Fucking roll up your sleeves I know you're hiding something."
"You think I'm cutting again? My fucking God, you don't trust me?" She said getting up.
"I don't trust Cameron, now show me."
"I'm leaving." Camila said grabbing her phone.
I reached out to touch her hand and she flinched.
"Just let me look." My voice softened.
I didn't realize it but tears formed in Camila's eyes.
She held out her arm and rolled up the sleeve.
Her arm was almost black, a big bruise was clearly visible on her left arm and I stared in horror.
"Jack, it was an accident. He apologized it's okay-"
"This is not fucking okay, did he do this to you?" I cradled her arm.
"It was an accident, he was mad and-and he didn't mean to it's okay Jack." She sobbed.
My stomach churned at the thought of Camila being hit and anger boiled up inside me.
"Is there more?"
She slowly nodded and cried harder.
"Jack, he's sorry, he really is-he's trying to change and he loves me. I know he does-"
I wanted to yell at her at the top of my lungs, she doesn't deserve that and it angers me more by the second that she's still with him.
"This is fucking bullshit." I raised my voice.
"Why? Just because I didn't pick you over him?" She sassed.
I paused, and almost stopped breathing I as so shocked. I felt like I just got the wind knocked out of me, like this is just one big slap in the face.
"I can't believe you're defending that piece of shit. Unbelievable." I shook my head.
"It's my choice Jack, I didn't ask for you to just pry into my life, it's my relationship-"
"You're going to let him hurt you? Over, and over-"
"I let you do that to me, it's basically the same thing, Jack."
I paused again, just staring into her eyes.
I almost didn't know what to say. It's like I have no idea who I'm standing in front of.
And I was so mad at her, God I was so furious.
"Of course there were times where I completely fucked up and you still stayed, I know I didn't deserve you so many times. But I can't believe you would compare me to a fucking monster. I never told anyone anything that happened between us, I never shared any of your biggest secrets. I fucking brought your sister to visit you and who was there when your pictures were plastered all over the school? That's right, I was." I continued.
"I-I fucking saved your life and I would never lay a hand on you-"
"I didn't ask for you to save me! I didn't want to be saved!" She cut me off, yelling.
Silence grew louder and louder and I shook my head.
"I'm sorry for giving a shit about you, Camila. Won't happen again."
Before she could answer I quickly left the waiting room, leaving her alone.
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School // j.g. c.c.
Fanfictie"This place is stupid." "It's a school for aspiring actors, actresses, singers, dancers, all that-" "I still hate it because it's still a high school." //Camila Cabello, Jack Gilinsky\\