LIFE CAN CHANGE- Aaron Tveit

CHAPTER 38

OK so this chapter is kinda all over the place since I wrote it on my phone.. sorry about that. if there are any typos and such its because I couldn't proof read it through the phone.. 
Also this story is almost over!! I'll probably write until chapter 40 and an epilouge.. anyways, enjoy! XOXO

[Aaron's POV ]

I woke up in the morning with an awful feeling. I was holding Jenny close to me and didn't want to let go of her, but I knew what I decided. Last night I told her I missed her, but in truth, I was speaking for the future. I knew how much I'd miss her when I break up with her.

I figured I should just do it already, and stop leading her on, but every time I looked at her in my arms my heart clenched and I didn't want to go with it.
Jenny started to get up and I couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she was. "Good morning" I said and quickly pecked her lips.

"Good morning" she smiled back at me and my heart was going crazy. I knew I had to do it already before we get too attached, so I decided it was bow or never. Before we even go on our run.

We got dressed and ate and walked out of my apartment and I decided to do it. I didn't have a plan how to do it and not hurt her too much. I decided to just say what I feel, and hope for well.

"Jen, before we run, can we talk for a minute?" I asked and went over to the bench next to us. "Uh, sure. What is it?" She asked looking confused. We always talked while running and didn't really stop to sit unless we were tired.

"I'm not really sure what I want to say right now, but the thing is, a few years ago I had a girlfriend called Robin, and I decided to break up with her, and I met her again a few days ago and it brought back a lot of memories -" I started but Jenny cut me off.

"Are you leaving me to get back with her?" She asked in a quiet voice and I could tell she was holding back the tears. Seeing her like this almost made me cry. What was I doing?!

"No! Of course not! She's great but I'd never get back with her! Also she's engaged" I quickly said, because it was important to me that she'd understand why I'm doing this, and not think I was leaving her for someone else.

"The thing is, the reason I broke up with her is that I wanted to be focused on my work. My career has always been important to me, and I realized I can't be in a relationship while working because I was giving my job everything that I could. So I broke up with her" I said and stayed quiet for a minute to let it all sink in.

"So you're leaving me for your job" Jen said after we were quiet for a while. "I think it's best for now" I said quietly avoiding eye contact because I'd start crying. "I really like you Jennifer, I really do, but you know how important my job is to me. And I want to do my best, and I'm scared that I won't be able to do that while being with someone. And it wouldn't be fair to you if I'd just ignore you because I work all the time" I said.

"I get it" she said and grabbed my hands. "Your job is your everything. Go and live your dream. Thanks for those amazing few month and this chance to get to know you" she said and quickly hugged me, and before I knew it she was walking away.

[Jen's POV ]

I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true. That bad feeling hasn't left since yesterday and now I knew why. I just wish I didn't.

I left because I didn't want Aaron to see me breakdown in front of him. I could tell how hard it was for him and I didn't want to make it any harder. He was right, I knew his job was important to him but I kept distracting him. We'd see each other twice a day and even when we weren't together we'd text or talk all the time.

But now Aaron had to focus on the production, and if I was distracting him than it's best that we'll break up. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I was holding him back, even though it hurt not being with him, and knowing I wasn't the most important thing to him.

I got home and started crying. I've never been like that before. Even with Chris I wasn't this sad. And deep down I knew why but I didn't want to believe it. I love Aaron. That's why it hurt so much. I've never had such feeling before.

I'm not sure how long I stayed like that. I just sat there for hours and cried, I didn't even care that I need to be studying and that the bar is coming up and I don't have time to waste. At some point I decided I can't keep crying about him. I need to forget him even though it seems impossible.

I got up and took a shower, checking time and seeing its already late afternoon. After my shower I checked my phone and noticed Aaron texted me. All it said is I'm sorry and I decided to ignore it. I knew he didn't like it either, but it was his choice, and he loved his work better.

For the next few days I kept myself busy with studying, and didn't communicate with anyone. By the end of the week I had many missed calls and texts from my family and Jess, and even Brynn, but I just didn't want to deal with anyone. I just wanted to be alone and cry myself to sleep every night, and run by myself in the mornings.

Luckily I never saw Aaron when I ran. He probably went to a different area and I was happy about it because I knew I'd start crying if I'd see him.

I felt pathetic and sad, but doesn't everyone feel like that after breaking up with someone they loved?