Heart Of A Fighter

Painful Delays

"You're messing around with someone's man now, Lavvy? I thought that's not part of your...whatever it is that you do," Liam ranted, narrowing his eyes at an unbothered Lavender. She chuckled inwardly.

Yup, Liam was indeed the brother she never had.

She shrugged, looking out of the window. She knew what was coming next. An endless lecture about her safety.

But sometimes she didn't want a lecturer. Sometimes all she needed was a friend, but that card with Liam ran out a long time ago when she continued dirtying her name.

Liam hated it. Terribly.

And he didn't care if she wanted to hear what he had to say or not. He always said what needed to be said. But that's what friends are supposed to do. He was fulfilling his task just right.

That was what she appreciated most about Liam. He was straight up with her majority of the time even though sometimes he delivered it wrongly.

"When are you going to stop, Lav? I'm truly concerned for you. Can't you find one guy from your group of gigolos that you like and stay with him? Seriously, what's up?"

Ahhh. There it was.

Lavender laughed, putting the car seat lower so that she could lie down. He knew her so well, but he didn't. Living a lie for so long wasn't safe. It left you feeling guilty even when you weren't supposed to.

Keeping up with a lie was the hardest of it all. It usually started as a flicker of flame. Just a taste, a taunting gamble. Then before you knew it, it became an uncontrollable fire that was hard to put out.

"The sky is up, asshole."

"Ha ha ha. You're so funny that I forgot to laugh," Liam dryly muttered.

Lavender turned towards him. She curled up in the seat, hugging her knees as if she were in bed. "Ethan and I are simply pretending."

He let out a humorless chuckle, biting his upper lip. To say that he was bewildered was an understatement. "You're saying that too loosely as if that's a good thing."

"It's all an act to get his girlfriend--I mean ex back. She assumed he was cheating and decided to have sex with someone for revenge. He's trying to get her back by getting her jealous since talking to her didn't work," Lavender explained. She shook her head in disbelief after saying it out loud again.

"That's insane," Liam said, voicing her thoughts. "He's needs to move onto the next one. That's wassup."

"Right?"

Being jealous to a certain extent was a good thing. It showed that you cared, but being too jealous only ruined relationships. Jealousy produced irrational behaviors--like Sandra for instance.

"But you agreed to that. Like you actually sat down and decided that you're going to 'help' him win his cheating girl back?" Liam turned to give her an incredulous look for a split second. "You're even crazier than I thought."

"Technically, I agreed right away after I told him it was pointless and still saw his desperation. I don't mind really."

"And you think that makes it any better," he scolded with a scoff. "You are always pulling some crazy stunts that will land you into trouble. I actually need your craziness, so try to stick around a bit longer, okay?"

"I can handle it," she smiled, closing her eyes.

What would mama think of me? The thought involuntarily appeared in her head.

That one question suddenly brought sadness upon her. Her heart felt heavy with guilt. She knew she was doing things that her mother would disapprove of. Her actions were that of a person her mother wouldn't recognize if she were alive, but she had to do something.

Something to keep her going or death would've consumed her. It was already calling her name, waiting patiently for her. But its patience could only last for so long. Death begged her to join her mother, but it wasn't her time yet.

Liam parked at his usual spot in the parking lot, turning off the car. Her eyes remained shut, tears falling down. Then she felt Liam's finger on her wet cheeks.

"Lavender, talk to me."

She opened her eyes, wiping her face with the back of her hand, and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Nothing's wrong? S-something fell in my eye."

He jolted backward. Liam almost looked hurt as he pierced his lips together, his barely there dimple showing. To Lavender, that was better than none, for she had an unhealthy obsession with dimples.

"So you're just going to lie to me to my face?" He tried to give her his signature smile, but the sting of her holding back from him was too much for. "You're lying to the wrong person, Summers."

Her effort to smile failed as well. She spent so long feeding her best friend with lies. Lies, that wasn't known to him just yet, but he was right. She was lying to the wrong person.

Repeatedly, for three and a half years she told herself to tell him the truth, but she kept delaying it. Painfully.

In her head, there were a thousand scenarios of how he would react to her truth, and none of them ended well. Liam wasn't the kind of friend she could afford to lose.

He would most likely feel like she didn't trust him enough. If at all.

Lavender sighed. This isn't going to end well.

"What's really wrong with you? You know, I'll help with whatever it is and if I can't then I'm here," he said.

Finally, she mustered up a smile. "I'll tell you later. Deal?"

His eyebrows furrowed but he nodded anyway. He got out of the car, but she made no attempt to go. Liam opened the door for Lavender, holding his hands out for her.

She placed her hands in his as he pulled her up. He walked Lavender to the restroom in silence so that she could wash her face.

She hated whenever he was worried or mad. That was when he became quiet unlike his usual witty personality, but he had a way of hiding it with his mock cheerfulness.

This time he didn't even bother to try hiding.

When she came out she met him leaned against the wall with his head hung low. She scratched her head.

Tonight's the night when secrets will be revealed. Tonight is when she tells the truth. The truth that she kept hidden from him for years.

Tonight is the night.