Prince on the wrong path? (solby)

CHEPTER 59

colby what's wrong where is sam " he is in the way back by his parents grave he yelled at me to leave he talked to me like I never heard before but I get it just please please please tried to bring him home tell him I won't be anywhere near him and then only you bring him food and stuff okay but he has to be home he will die here alone with nothing I will be home in my room " I said by now full on crying my heart hurts so much I can't even describe it they looked at me heartbroken before walking off quickly I got on my wagen riding off as fast as I could if I die now then good I was back home in a few min getting off and straight to the kitchen ignoring the talks from the guards getting me 2 bottles of wine walking back out seeing them look at me but I dident care I walked up to my room closing and locking the door sliding down on it sitting down Sam's words and voice still in my head I opend the bottle drinking at least half at ones hoping it numbs me or kills me either is fine when I was on my sec one I heard a wagen and horses jumping up looking out the window or peaking around seeing sam sitting in it being very very glad he is save at least I walked back to my bed sitting down feeling the alcohol my head is spinning a bit I heard people talking and walking outside I walked to the window with the bottle on my hand looking out the stars where so bright today amd the moon so big I wish I could show sam and dreaming together but he dosent want me and from the looks off it never did I will just never understand why he never said anything and why there why in front off all the people directly 5 min before why amd to break up and Everything off then not before our wedding or something or before we become a couple why wait so long questions over questions on my head i just emptied the 2 bottle in 1 sip placing them both down on the ground laying down my room spinning by now I just closed my eyes and was out in a sec

Next morning
I woke up trying to open my eyes but it was so bright and my head hurts like hell I set up a bit looking around until my memories all came back "prince colby breakfast" bring me wine and leave it at the door " I said husk but prince" she started "I said I want wine so bring it to me or will you los your job" I called hearing her walk off I sit up my head still hurts but who cares there is nothing more to lose in my life "it's on your door prince" I heard and then walking away  I get up slowly walking to the door opening it taking the bottle and close it again I opening it immediately taking a big sip sitting back down on my bed looking around seeing Sam's shirt hanging over the chair I walked to it taking it I hold it in my face sniffing on it, I know it's weird but it smells like him making my eyes water immediately I take another sip in hopes it numbs my pain of causing this myself just me I need to get out I need fresh air I feel so claustrophobic here I opend my door walking out the door the bottle in my hand still swaying a bit when I came down I saw sam, the girls and 1 guard in the hall talking I looked at sam for a sec before just walking out taking another bug sip out of my bottle just walking in to the woods when I heard a call behind me "prince colby where are you going" I don't know Thomas but who cares nobody will miss me I'm just a scum " prince colby that's not true you just made a huge mistake" yeah but one that isn't forgivable bc I certainly won't now go back Im fine "he sigh walking off and in the castle hearing faint talking I just continued walking and drinking trowing the bottle away when empty bc who cares I just walked a bit further until I felt a bit wobbly so I just sit down for a bit feeling so sad and empty and broken I don't know what to do now what's next how it goes on I don't know anything I just set there for hours thinking and staring at nothing until I was thirsty again I stood up walking all the way back to the castle the 10 min felt far but also like 1 min I walked back in to the castle not talking or looking at anything or anyone bc I don't care at all I walked in the kitchen seeing sam and the girls talking they all looked at me but doesn't say anything I just walked in the back room getting me 2 more bottles "prince colby it's not good for you at all to just drink and don't eat anything please" Frieda tells me I looked at her " and is here someone who wants to stop me" I looked at them motionless nobody says anything " I thought so and don't bother me with food I don't want any" I said walking out and up the stairs to my room locken the door just bringing my chair to the window sitting down opening the bottle and taking half of it that's the only think that makes me numb for a few hours I don't care what people think or do or feel bc I destroyed my life so why not completely there is no better after sam and I did something unforgivable that he and I never will  tears where rolling down my face silently I can't even describe how much I hate myself all the hate I ever felt is nothing to the hate for myself I thought drinking the rest of the bottle "prince colby are you okay" I heard a voice sounding like Sophie I walked to the door giving her all the empty bottles to throw away "im great now bye" I said closing the door "prince colby we all are worried" yeah but I'm not my life ended yesterday now go before I fire you " hearing her walk down the stairs I walked to the window seeing a beautiful blue sky the sun and birts how can the World look so beautiful for one and dark amd sad for the other I opened the sec bottle about to drink some when it knocked" son can you open the door " no I can't I know that you will tell me all the parent stuff I don't wanne hear it" son to soake in your own pity won't help anything son how about you get your head out of your ass and fight for what you love instead of pitty yourself and no more alcohol I took them away "guess what dad im 18 with money I can buy it myself and like i said my whole life ended yesterday it's not just if he will ever talks to me again or will ever forgive me then I won't you can't even imagine how much I hate myself nobody can hate me more but don't worrie about me I will be fine soon " I said hearing what sounded like multiple whispers but maybe I imagined it" son don't talk like this there are many people here who loves you and are worried "yeah I told you all not to worrie but besides that have you all never lost your life purpose I guess  sam was mine he was my world my light my air and I hurted him I will never ever ever forgive myself for it never he was everything I wanted and needed and I thought he thinks so to but either way it's over for me him and my life now please go I want to alone " I just laid down on my bed thinking about everything but nothing, feeling weak and powerless but that sounds great to me..... I woke up to what sounded like a gentle knock" leave me alone "colby" the voice wispered but a voice that goes through me like lightning am I dreaming I have to dream I stood up walking to the door opening it and it was truly sam in front of me I just stared at him "I'm scared colby" he whispered so quiet I barely heard it and not 1 sec and I was back in protecting mode but I couldn't hug him or kiss him "you want to come in" I ask he nodded so I walked to the side letting him in closing the door I looked at him his face pail his eyes red he looks like he dident sleep for 4 days I walked to the table sitting down him following "why are you scared" I ask looking at him feeling nothing more then guilt "I was - was there when you talk to your father and Im scared you will you know" he said his eyes water "and that is bad" I ask serious "I know we are in very bad terms right now but could you - you please hug me please I feel so scared" he looked at me his eyes empty but also so emotional "please" he whispered not being able to say no to him still even if that's probably a very bad idea I sigh