Understanding the meaning of Love with MaAn

Bits and pieces of Dream

NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS CONFUSING I AGREE... BUT THIS IS THE LAST CONFUSING PART OF THE STORY... IN THE NEXT CHAPTER I WILL GIVE COMPLETE EXPLANATION OF WHAT IS HAPPENING AND WHY IS IT HAPPENING.. I AM SORRY.. BUT GIVE ATTENTION TO DETAILS...

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Previously:

Across the room, Anuj sat on the cold metal chair, the dim yellow light painting shadows under his tired eyes.
He opened his old leather diary — the one he hadn't touched in months. His hand trembled as he wrote...

"I don't deserve love."
The words looked cruel even to him, but they were true — painfully, helplessly true.

"Everything I've ever held close... has been taken away.
Every smile I've protected... has turned into pain.
Maybe that's all I'm meant to be — the storm before someone else's silence."

He paused, eyes glistening. A single tear smudged the ink, but he continued.

"When I was in the orphanage, there was Gayathri Maa — the only one who ever called me 'beta' with love.
She fought her world for me... and what did she get?
Cruelty. Betrayal. And a lonely death.
Then came Mumma and Dad — the ones who adopted me, gave me a home, made me feel worthy of being loved.
But I repaid that love... with grief. They left too soon."

His pen scratched harder against the page now, like every word was being carved into his heart.

"Mukku — my dearest sister, my light...
She loved deeply, but life gave her poison instead.
Her laughter turned into silence. I failed her too."

He stopped. His breath hitched.
He looked at Anupamaa, sleeping by Anurag's side.

"And then came her... Anu."
His voice trembled even in the silence.
"My peace, my home, my prayer.
But destiny... didn't spare her either.
She was broken, hurt, bruised — and I could only watch.
I fell in love with her light, but every time I get close to it... the light burns out.
Maybe I'm the curse."

The pen slipped from his hand, but he forced himself to finish.

"Then came Anurag — my boy, my strength, my mirror.
He brought back the laughter I had lost.
And now... he's lying here like this."
He shut his eyes, his jaw tightening.

"Why, Kanhaji?
Why does every person who loves me suffer?
Why does every heart I call my own... end up breaking?
Maybe this is Your way of saying — I'm meant to love alone."

He closed the diary softly, staring at Anupamaa and Anurag — the only two people who could still make his world feel whole.

Under his breath, he whispered,
"I'll take all the pain, Kanhaji... bas un dono ko bacha lo.
Let my story remain shattered, but please... don't break theirs."

He leaned back, eyes heavy with unshed tears,
watching the faint rise and fall of Anurag's chest —
his only sign that hope still breathed somewhere in this night.

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It had been five long, restless days since Anurag's accident. The hospital room had become a second home to Anuj and Anupamaa, who refused to leave his side even for a moment. They took turns tending to him — one watching over while the other handled the endless stream of reports, medications, and doctors' rounds. Sleep had become a luxury neither could afford. Every small movement of Anurag's hand or flutter of his eyelids felt like a miracle they were desperately waiting for.