Sexuality Secret ( Book 4 )

Twenty-Four

Third Person's POV

Zayn is not being himself after five days of Cara's departure . Sometimes he will become talkative but most of the time , he will just let out his feelings through anything he could find .

His knuckles are not getting better after hitting the walls , the punching bags , you name it . The boys knows that Cara has effected Zayn in some ways that they couldn't explain except for Harry .

Unlike the other boys , Harry the only one that brave enough to mention about Cara and everytime he does , Zayn will punch anything that is standing right infront of him .

They have to fly all across the world tomorrow for the world tour and the boys are debating if they should delay the date until Zayn recover .

" Maybe we should brings Cara along . " Harry never stop suggesting to the boys that they should hire Cara back but Louis never agree .

" Did you see how he punch everything everytime you mention about her ? " Liam started to feel worry about Zayn's condition .

" He's like the walking grenade . " Niall speaks up , feeling the distance that Zayn put between them .

" Maybe we should just fly in schedule and hopes that it will somehow distract Zayn . " burden on Louis's shoulder is not getting lighter .

" Will it distract Zayn ? The news is still spreading around and I know the media won't stop asking him about it . " Harry feels stress . Why can't the boys see this from his point of view ?

" We can put it into off limits question . " Liam suggested .

" But you know the media would never listen . " the boys silently agree with Harry .

" Maybe we can stop him from going to the interview session . "

" He can't absent on every interview , the media would notice . " Louis argued .

He never thought that being a leader for the biggest boyband is going to be this hard . This is the most toughest time he need to handle as a leader , not as sassy master himself because he knows , he can't fight fire with fire .

" We can't delay the tour either . The media will also notice that . " Niall speaks up his thought .

They are in dilemma as the Zayn is oblivious with his bandmates discussion . Maybe he notice that they were talking about him since they dismissed him from the metting due to his sudden violent act on inoccent coffee table . But he didn't care .

All he could think about is Cara . Image of her face when he told her that this friendship is not gonna work haunted his life . He has this weird feelings for her but he refused to entertain it .

He notice how Cara makes him feels like he can be himself whenever she is around put a smile on her face but yet again , his mind put the blame on him as it keep replaying the incident .

He notice how Cara's hand could calm his nerves whenever he is feeling down but yet again , his mind couldn't stop playing back the incident that makes he feels guilty .

" If only you were straight . "

*Cara's Apartment

She stared at rain pouring down her window silently . She knows what tomorrow holds for her and she is not ready for it . The thought of Zayn being miles away from her just killed her inside .

Zayn didn't know . The boys didn't know . Heck , even Letty didn't have a clue about her stalking Zayn everyday . It makes her happy whenever she saw Zayn , even from the distance .

She notice the different in Zayn's attitude and her heart keeps telling her that Zayn is faking it for his sake . She notice the sadness in his eyes even he is laughing over stupid things . She notice everything .

Sometimes she hates herself for stalking Zayn because it tell her the disadvantage of Zayn not having her around . She knows Zayn has a short temper now but didn't shout it out loud . Instead he keep lashing out on the innocent things he could get a grip on .

She wanted to go and comfort Zayn so bad but she keep reminding herself . Zayn don't want you to be around . So foolishly she believe in her mind instead of her heart . The heart that keep screaming that Zayn need her even Zayn is out of sight .

Deep down , she knows well that she has digged too far in her own grave . Letty is right . Better for her to get away now before she gives Zayn more power to hurt her even more without his knowledge .

She caress her own knuckles , pretending that it was Zayn's . She has gone crazy and she knows that more than anyone else . Every night she spend without Zayn by her side , she cried until she fall asleep .

She is heart broken but she couldn't stay . That's what she keep telling herself . Zayn is better off without her because she is just a big skinny liar . She lied about her sexuality just to stay close to Zayn .

Her own lie backfires her back . She thought she would be fine but she is getting much worst everyday . She is missing her another half while she couldn't have him . It's Zayn .

" Maybe you should go and meet him . " Letty suggested and she wish it was that easy .

" You told me to stay away but now you tell me the otherwise . " she has lost her sense of humor the day she walk away .

" You are getting worst Cara . I know I told you to stay away but it's different now . " Cara looked at her weirdly .

" Sometimes you need to fight to get something and I think in your case , you need to fight for Zayn . I know it will hurt you later on but I really want to see that you can prove me wrong . " Letty is in the dilemma and Cara can see it through her .

" No point of chasing him Letty . He is going to be away tomorrow morning . " away from her reach .

I hate to write this . It's like I'm torning them apart .