Sexuality Secret ( Book 4 )

Thirty

" I'm not trying to pressure you or anything but Harry here couldn't stop bugging me so are you done yet ? " Zayn asked from the other side of the door , sound really annoyed .

" Why are you standing outside ? I told you that she need a new suite for herself but no , you have to be this possesive alpha male . " they have been fighting since 15 minutes ago .

" First , I have my own reason on why I need to stand outside while she is having the shower and changing . Second , I'm not possesive . I'm being protective . " Zayn defended himself .

" That's it . I'm getting her a new suite . " Harry argued .

" You do that and I'm going to take the bear bear away . "

" Leave my bear bear out of this . "

" Then leave me alone . " I hate to see them fighting about me but I can't help it .

Letty is the one that pack my bag when the girls convince me to fly all the way here and her terms of packing is kinda different from mine . She put in a few shirt and shorts , leaving me with no option .

Not to mention that the shorts is made from the damn jeans and I hate to wear jeans to sleep . Last night doesn't count since I sleep naked , don't really care about it and now it was like my biggest problem .

" Cara , please tell me that you are done or I will end up murdering Harry's bear . " Zayn pleaded as Harry keep nagging at his background .

" Just come in . " I bite my lips , standing there awkwardly .

" That's my call . Goodnight Harry and I still love you even you are quite annoying most of the time . " Zayn come in quickly , closing the door .

" Goodnight Zayn and I forgive you for shutting the door right at my face . " Zayn stick his tongue out as he peek through the door hole .

" Seriously , what took .. " Zayn didn't finish his sentence as he stare at me from head to toe .

" When I said changing , I mean full clothes . " he speaks with a deep voice , sending shiver down my spine .

" I didn't have pajama pants to wear . " admitted the truth , my eyes lingering at his growing buddy .

" There is the reason why I wait outside until you finish changing . "

" I know , I know . I'm sorry . Maybe I should borrow some of your sweetpants but I don't want to go through your stuff . " he is trying to be a gentlemen and standing here with only a shirt that end up below my ass is not helping .

" No , it's okay I guess . I just need a shower . " he walk straight to the bathroom , not once glancing at me .

His reaction started to make my anxiety grows and I couldn't stop thinking that maybe he is mad at me . I mean I would if I were in his shoes .

I sit down on his bed , waiting for him to finish showering . Or maybe I shouldn't wait for him and go straight to bed . But that would be rude since I'm in his suite , sleeping in his bed .

Why things has to be this complicated

Sometimes I wish I was like the other girls . Their boyfriend could touch them whenever they want but that would make me feel like a cheap girl . And I won't feel special like I did now if I ever lost my V card to someone else .

But why the first time has to make me feel so sore ? I hate to look fragile in Zayn's eyes but at the same time , I like the attention he is throwing at me . Like I'm the only girl that she could see .

Okay , I have think this way to far and now I need to figure out what to do with my pant-less outfits . Maybe I should ask for some pants from the girls . They wouldn't mind borrowing me some right ?

That's it . I'm going to go and ask for some pants . Quickly I stand up and walk towards the door when a hand reach for my waist .

" Where are you going ? " Zayn's chest touching my back as he put his chin on my shoulder .

" Uh , I'm gonna go and borrow some pants . " Zayn chuckles , bringing me back to his bed .

" No need for that . I think I need to learn how to control my lust from now on so I won't hurt you or anything . " his hand released my waist before grab my hand .

Awkwardly for me , he pull me to lay back on his chest as he is laying on the bed .

" We need to talk about us . " like he promised .

" Okay . " his hand slowly rub a line at my side before settling on my stomach .

" Last night wasn't something I would regret , except for the fact that I make your body sore and leave marks all over it . " this start off pretty well .

" I wasn't expecting you to agree with me but you did . And I couldn't thank you enough for letting me to be the first . " I stare at the wall , feeling his chest move with every breath he takes .

" I like you Cara . I really really like you but I understand that you are not into me . I won't force you to be my girlfriend but I couldn't imagine my days without you , not after what happened . " I know I should admitted the truth but I couldn't . Nothing came out from my mouth when I try to speaks .

" So I'll let you decided on what are we . You can call me your boyfriend and I would never deny it . You can claimed we are just friend and I won't say anything against it either . " and now he let me decided if I want to be his girlfriend ?

" The choice is in your hands but whatever it is .. " he paused , reaching for my hand and squeeze it .

" Please don't ever leave me . " it's not that I'm afraid off . You leaving me is my biggest fears now .

Zayn is so sweet and gentlemen , I can't .

To be honest , I feel close to this book more than my three other books for some reason I couldn't explain . I have no words to describe how much this book means to me .

On the other rant , Calvin Harris dissed Zayn is irrelevent . He just tweeted the damn tweet and suddenly Calvin Harris goes wild on him ?

I'm not trying to pick any side here but it is too much for me I guess ? Anyway , Perrie is coming in so get ready