If Life Was Like a Poem

Hill Billie Joe

Hill Billie Joe was a mighty fine man
And a mighty fine man was he
He went sailin' fishin' but all the time he was wishin'
That he could find a woman like thee
Now Hill Billie Joe was a stubborn boy
And he didn't take no for nothin'
So he set out one day to find him a maid
In the wide open land of Gruffin
Hill Billie Joe rode across the land
Hoping that he could find the one
He rode on the back of his horse named Jack
And brought nothin' with him but his gun

Little Suzie Lue was a beautiful girl
And a beautiful girl was she
She loved pickin' flowers all the day of the hours
Bein' nothin' but a little buzzy bee
Now Little Suzie Lue was a kind sweet girl
Who wouldn't ever harm a fly
One day she got taken by the devil in the makin'
Who just wanted to be her guy
Little Suzie Lue had to take some action
So she out a letter for a savior
The message in the bottle floated down the stream as she began to dream
All about the man that would save'r

Hill Billy Joe was a walkin' near the water
When somethin' peculiar caught his eye
He picked it up and with much great luck
He knew he could be this woman's guy
Now Hill Billie Joe started up the stream
Ridin' on gray dappled Jack
He rode by the water as the sun got hotter
But he never ever thought of goin' back
Hill Billie Joe found Little Suzie Lue
Tied to an old rotten stump
She smiled as he untired her then they stood for a while
Until the both hear a bang and they jumped

Randy Rodger Ruffus was an evil ugly man
And an evil ugly man was he
He kidnapped Suzie he was always quite choosey
He was her guy he just had to be
Now Randy Rodger Ruffus returned to Suzie
To find a man settin' her free
He pulled out his pistol and aimed it like a missile
Right at Billie Joe's knee
Randy Rodger Ruffus spoke with anger
"She's my gal, don't you see?"
But Hill Billie Joe moved swift in slow-mo
"No, she's my gal!" said he

Now the two faced off
Pointing their guns at each other's face
Then there was a bang, oh the forest how it rang

Little Suzie Lue stood there quiet
With the warmth of the gun in her hand
She said, "Neither one was that cute."
Then she mounted Jack and rode alone across the land