Catching Feelings

57

I'm sitting on the couch watching a movie on my laptop while Justin sits across the room on his laptop. I haven't really spoken to him even though he's tried about everything possible to get me to. There's nothing I can say at this point and I don't even know who to turn to anymore. The last time I tried to talk to someone about his problems they just blew me off so you know what fuck it. He's on a dangerous path yet he thinks everything is just fine. I refuse to be one of his enablers though so he better figure this out fast or I'm done and he knows it. He clears his throat across the room. I know it's another one of his awkward attempts to get my attention but I remain firm and completely ignore him. When I don't look up at him he walks over and sits down on the coffee table in front of me. He gives me a little half grin then rubs my knee. I look up at him roll my eyes and turn my attention back to my computer. He sighs loudly. "You can't ignore me forever B."

"Ha" Is the only response I give him without even looking up to catch his eye. He hasn't experienced the true bitch in me yet and if he thinks he has, then he seriously has another thing coming. I can be more stubborn than anybody.

He shifts around a little nervously. "So listen I have to fly back to LA to pick up OG" He's talking about the monkey that his buddy Mally has for him. The damn thing is about the cutest thing that I have ever seen.

I shake my head and squint my eyes at him. "You're flying all the way back to LA to pick up the monkey?" Now I officially know he's crazy.

He smiles and nods. "Will you come with me?"

I give him a clipped "No" Because I find it completely ridiculous and besides how it that even good to be dragging a baby monkey all around while you're touring. Who's going to take care of it. I mean obviously I would but he doesn't know that for sure and besides I don't even know what's going to happen with us yet. I'm still really pissed and confused by all this.

Leaning forward he smiles and wraps his hands around my ankles. "Come on B, it'll be nice to go home for a little bit. Eat real fast food and..."

I cut him off before he can even finish. "I said no and that's what I meant. Don't ask again. It's stupid to fly all that way for such a short amount of time."

He rolls his eyes and puts his head down. "Fine whatever but I'm leaving right after tonights show just so you know."

I raise an eyebrow and shrug then look down at the time and realize that I need to get ready. We have to be at the venue in a little over an hour. I close the lid to my laptop and stand. I stare down at him briefly. His eyes catch mine and he gives me a little sad half smile. I shake my head and head to the bathroom. I hate feeling this way. I hate treating him like this even more but he has to realize that he can't do this and that I won't put up with it. It breaks my heart to think of what he's doing to himself and that he thinks there's no other way to deal with all this. I've tried talking to him over and over again about it all but he just doesn't get it. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who cares even though I know it's not true or do I?

~

Later after we rode to the arena in complete silence I'm standing backstage talking to Fredo while Justin gets ready to go on. Normally I'm with him but not tonight.

Fredo kinda side eyes me a little suspiciously . "Wait..What's going on Bobbi"

"Nothing, what do you mean?" I act like I'm completely oblivious to what he's hinting at but clearly I'm not.

He cocks his head to the side and gives me an 'are you kidding me' look. "I'm not stupid contrary to popular belief." He says laughing at his own little dig at himself. I laugh at him but ignore his question.