Catching Feelings

41

"B..." I point to the blanket draped over the empty seat beside her on the jet "Hand me that...Jazzy's cold."
She
hands is to me with a smile "How can you tell? She's fast asleep."
"Because look how scrunched up she is...." I point out while pulling the soft blue fleece up around her little body.
She nudges me gently with her foot when I stroke the soft wisps of hair on my little sisters head which rests in my lap "Look at you...you're so in love with her. Its too cute."
"She's my baby..." I agree with a nod.
"So hey," she whispers quietly so that she doesn't wake her "Have I told you what an amazing job you did on SNL?"
"Only like fifty times baby." I laugh softly.
"Did I also tell you that I've never seen a sexier nerd? You should've kept that costume."
I raise an eyebrow "Maybe I did."
She rolls her eyes "No you didn't...don't play with me like that."
I smile and start to answer when Gramma walks down the aisle "Hey Gramma," I call out when she makes her way passed us "Come sit."
She slides into the seat next to Bobbi after leaning into kiss my cheek and smiling down at Jaz with a "Isn't she the sweetest?"
"You keeping Grampa out of trouble up there?" I joke.
"Never. He's a trouble maker, where do you think you get it?"
I pretend to be shocked "Me? A trouble maker? You're crazy."
"Mhmm..." she turns to B and taps her gently on the knee "Did he ever tell you about the time he...."
"Hey! Whoa...wait a minute here..." I interject with mock panic "Get outta here if you're gonna sell me out Gramma." I tease with a grin and the little tilt of my head that I know melts her heart every time.
"Look at him Bobbi..." she points accusingly in my direction "He doesn't play fair."
B certainly knows this just as well as Gramma by now but plays along, sizing me
up with a conspiring glance in her direction "Yeah, I see what you mean."
Jazzy suddenly begins to squirm and then sits up with her right fist rubbing her eye furiously. She drops her head back into my lap and then reaches up to twirl my chain around her finger "I'm thirsty Justin."
"What do you want baby?" I ask.
"Juice." she whispers in a sleep filled voice.
Gramma stands "I'll get it for her..."
"Thanks," I smile, tucking Jazzy back under the blanket "Anything but orange...she doesn't like it."
"I like it now." Jaz corrects sleepily, and I find a little heartbreaking, I should know these things...I don't spend enough time with them.
I suddenly jolt forward a little in my seat as the weight of a tiny body crashes into the back of it while a tiny hand reaches over and yanks the hat off my head with a wild giggle.
"Jaxo..." I call out in a 'you're busted' tone as I reach back and try to grab for him playfully. He's quick however, and is already peeking around the side of the seat bearing a triumphant grin and my hat perched on his tiny head, covering his eyes.
"What're you doin' boy? I call him forward with a "Come here..." and a curl of my finger, but he scurries into Bobbi's lap instead.
"What?" I exclaim, pretending to be hurt as he fits himself into her arms and peers over at me "You like her better than me?"
He nods "She's pretty..."
Bobbi laughs, clearly delighted "Even the little's have mastered the art of the Bieber charm!"
I give her a wink "Yep...works every time doesn't it?"
"She has pretty hair too." Jazzy pipes in "I cut my hair once, Jaxon's too."
I burst into laughter at the memory "She did B! It was hilarious...he was completely bald and looked like a gigantic baby cause he was all bald.!"
She laughs with me until Jaz asks "Did you ever cut your hair?"
Before she has a chance to answer Dad appears, looking to collect Jaz and Jaxon "Come on guys...don't bug Justin and Bobbi..."
He reaches for Jaxon but B wraps an arm around him and shakes her head "He's fine...I could use the company..." she casts her eyes to me and then back to him "Your oldest is such a bore."
He laughs in a way that proves he really likes her, which makes me happy, then motions towards Jaz who is still twirling my necklace in a sleepy haze.
"No." I joke "You can't have her."
"Alright then..." he sighs "If you guys are good I'm gonna try and catch a nap before we land."
A while later Jazzy has abandoned me for B and I watch them, happily engaged in a Disney movie on the lap top, her head resting on Bobbi's shoulder as they exchange comments here and there about Princess Whoever. Jaxon has taken over the spot beside me and promptly begins to drift to sleep. When the girls begin to rattle on about tiaras and gowns I decide he has the right idea and close my eyes as well.
"You be careful Justin Drew!" Mom worries as I stand knee deep in the cool water of the ocean tossing Jax high into the air, later that day.
"We're fine Ma..." I roll my eyes before throwing him again.
We're all enjoying the crystal clear, shockingly blue Caribbean water...Gramma and Grampa are relaxing beneath an enormous umbrella while Dad wades around close to me and Jaxon, waiting to take over when I'm ready for him. B is stretched out on a large towel in the sand, soaking in the rays of the sun while Jazzy lays beside her pointlessly seeing as how she's covered in nearly an entire bottle of sunblock, and Mom (obviously) stands by closely, worrying as always.
"Seriously Justin...just watch it..." She continues.
I drop him down into the water, careful not to submerge his little face and then wrap my fist around his ankle, holding him up high in the air victoriously "Look Mom! Caught a fish! Oh wait, its kinda small...I'll just throw it back." I swing him around, pretending to toss him out into the waves as he squeals excitedly and she gasps and shakes her head.
"Lighten up Pattie..." Dad calls out "They're fine."
She throws her hands up with a little laugh and heads off to join my grandparents in the shade.
"B!" Get your butt in the water!"I yell, watching my language for the littles "And bring Jaz..."
She raises her head and shields her eyes "No way! We're comfy, aren't we Jazzy?"
She nods seriously and agrees "Yeah Justin, B and me are comfy!"
I laugh because she's called her B and then turn on the innocent charm "Come on girls...we miss you, don't we Jax?"
"Yeah!" he replies instantly "I like her."
"Who?" I ask with another laugh "Bobbi?"
"How come?" I ask when he nods.
"Cause she's a girl..." he answers, leaving the 'r' out of girl because he can't say them.
I jiggle him in my arms "You like girls?"
He pokes and pinches the crown on my chest "Yep."
"Me too bud..." I agree "Me too."
That night after we've settled in, we're filling a restaurant with the happy, loud laughter and conversation that seems to follow us wherever we go, especially when we're all together. My eyes sweep around the table with content as I soak in the light, airy feeling of relief that always comes with being with the people I love most in the world all at once, it doesn't happen often enough.
I let my gaze linger lovingly on each one of them, and realize how incomplete and wrong this would feel if Bobbi weren't here. It surprises me, though it shouldn't...if I'd been in this very same room with everyone minus her a year ago, I wouldn't have known the difference, but now...if she were missing, nothing would feel quite as right as it does right now.
I'm pulled from my thoughts by Dad arguing kindly with Jazzy as she gives a mile long order to our waitress "Jaz...you don't need all that, you'll never eat it all."
"I know." She protests in an adorable, haughty voice "But I wanna whole bunch of different stuff..."
He begins trying to talk her out of it again but I interject "So what? Let her order whatever she wants..." I lean forward and wrinkle my nose before kissing the air in her direction "Order whatever you want baby."
She turns her attention back to Dad and smiles "See? I can order whatever I want...Justin said so."
The table erupts into laughter until he scolds me without a hint of seriousness "You're gonna turn her into a spoiled brat."
"She could never be a brat..." I disagree "But yeah, I spoil her...cause you're a princess aren't you Jazzy?"
She nods and reaches forward for my phone which rests on the table "Can I play a game?"
I slide it forward without thought, then turn my attention to my menu for the first time as B squeezes my hand beneath the table.