Catching Feelings

49

If I thought her agreeing to stay the night, not to mention all that came before me asking her to stay, meant things would go back to the way they should be between the two of us, I was wrong. She left in a hurry the next morning, apologizing for staying as if it was an inconvenience no matter how many times I tried to convince her otherwise.
I'm lost in thought, wondering what she's doing right now despite the blaring noise level of the club until I remember I'm supposed to be listening to what Katie is saying. I shake my head a little to clear B from it and focus back in on her with a nod and a little smile.
She returns my smile and licks her lips, which I surprise myself by finding a little sexy. "You need another drink girl?" I ask, reaching over to rattle the ice in her empty glass, purposely brushing my hand across her inner wrist.
"Yeah...thank you J." she nods trying but failing to cover the way she sighs at my touch.
"It's Justin...not J." I correct a little more rudely than I'd intended to, which is stupid because plenty of other people call me J from time to time, not just B...but it doesn't seem right.
She looks a little wounded and drops her eyes to the floor "Oh. I'm sorry..."
I soften and tilt her chin up "You're fine girl, don't worry. Smile."
She smiles of course, they always do...all I have to do is ask "There you go...now let's get you another drink, I could use one too."
15 minutes later Fredo slides into the seat beside me when she leaves for the restroom. He says nothing, but gives me a look.
I roll my eyes and groan in irritation "What?"
He shrugs "Just wondering."
"Wondering what?" My knee bounces up and down rapidly, but my annoyance is only 1% of the reason I can't sit still. The other 99% is thanks to the two decently sized lines of coke I snorted a little while ago in the bathroom off the little folding mirror that is now in my backpack. I sniff just hard enough to taste the aspirin-ish flavor, but not hard enough for it to be noticed or questioned.
"Just wondering how you did it?" He replies.
"Why don't you just fucking say it Fredo, I'm not dickin' with coded riddles like I'm Sherlock Holmes 'n shit."
"Wondering how you got over Bobbi so fast?" he clarifies.
I take a long sip off my drink and then shake my head with a sarcastic laugh "You're dumber than I thought you were if you think I'm anywhere near getting over B, and dumber still if you think I ever will."
"Oh!" he slaps his forehead "I'm an idiot...clearly this," he points to the chair "Isn't going to hurt your chances of ever getting her back. What was I thinking?"
"Fuck off Fredo, you act like I just bent her over the bar...I'm just flirting, like that's anything new."
He eyes me for a moment then holds his hands up "Whatever man...your call."
I bang my glass down a little harder than I should, landing it against the wood with a satisfying crack "I would have thought you'd be all over this and trying to hit it by now."
My comment pisses him off "First of all...I wouldn't do that to you now...before I just didn't realize how much you loved her. And second..."
I cut him off "And second, it'd never happen anyway, hate to burst your bubble, but she thinks of you like a brother."
He starts to answer but Katie has suddenly reappeared and is settling back into her seat "Miss me?" I ask with a wink.
"So much!" she laughs.
"I'm gonna hit the floor..." Fredo announces "Too many fine girls over there to pass it up." He grabs my shoulder. Anyone else will think it's just a friendly see you later gesture, but his grip is much tighter than it should be, and without a doubt it's a warning, reminding me to use my head.
I turn my attention back to her when he strides off in the direction of the dance floor "You smoke?"
Her fingers are toying with her necklace, an attempt to draw my attention to her neck and breasts "What, like cigarettes?"
I swallow the laugh that rises in my throat so I don't spit the mouth full of grey goose all over her "No..." I smile "Do you smoke?"
Her eyes flash as she finally understands "Yeah, couple times a long time ago."
"Wanna smoke with me?" I grin just before my cell begins to vibrate in my pocket. I hold up one finger "Sorry, hang on..." and then lean back a little to fish it out. My thumb slides across the screen to unlock it.

***

I'm laying on the bed in my hotel room having a glass of wine. I haven't had a drink since 'the incident' but today I couldn't help myself so I went and bought a bottle. I can't get Justin out of my head and I've pretty much come to the conclusion that this tough love thing isn't really working. I don't know where he is tonight. I miss him. I'm 3 glasses in and already buzzed so I decide to text him.