Catching Feelings

39

This morning has been insane, nothing but  packing and rushing around. Justin is hosting SNL this weekend so we  will be in New York City for the entire week. The whole team is really  excited to see him finally hosting SNL. I've always been a huge fan of  the show and cannot wait to see a live taping. The hope is, is that  since he will be so busy with rehearsals that he won't have a lot of  down time to party.

We've been in the air for about 15 minutes  now and he hasn't said very much, mostly keeping to himself on his  laptop. My plan is to try to talk to him while we are in the air. It's a  long flight and there's really no one around so this will be the  perfect time. I'm still not sure exactly what I'm going to say to him. I  don't want to piss him off but it has to be done.

He sits across  from me, relaxed down into the soft leather chair. I suspect he's  working on music. He has his headphones on while he clicks away at his  laptop and bobs his head. I nudge his knee with my foot. When he looks  up we share a smile and he slides his headphones down around his neck.

"What's up J, whatcha doin over there"

He leans forward a little and grabs my foot. "Just workin on a few beats..what's up"

"Nothing really..are you excited" He raises an eyebrow. "..about this week nerd"

He adjusts his hat "Oh yea..Of course I am but I'm a little nervous"

I lean forward and put my hand on his knee. "Don't be nervous baby..you'll do great..you always do"

Grinning  he sets his laptop aside and leans over to give me a kiss on the  forehead. "Thanks baby girl but this is a little different"

I  shrug my shoulder a little and nod in agreement. "I guess but I still  know you're gonna kill it...as long as you stay in the right state of  mind"

I give him a wink and he sighs. Leaning back in his chair  once again. He's already shutting me out and I really  haven't said  anything. "What're you gettin at B"

I cock my head to the side and give him the 'are you serious' look "You know what I'm getting at Justin"

"Quit worrying so much baby..damn..I'm fine..sometimes shit just gets to be too much"

"I  get that Justin, I really do but..lately" I shake my head, tears  threatening to spill down my cheeks. "Lately it's just been out of  control it seems..you've been different"

He gets up and sits in  the seat beside me, throwing his arm around me and pulling me into his  chest. "I'm fine B really, please stop worrying so much, I'm 18 and just  having some fun..sometimes the pressure gets to me and I have to blow  off some steam, it's really not a big deal"

I look up at him "Justin"

He  quiets me instantly with a "Shhh" lightly caresses my cheek and brings  his lips to mine, giving me a soft kiss. "I love you B..this week is  going to be insane but with you by my side I'll be fine" He smiles at me  reassuringly and I'm not sure if he's just trying to shut me down or if  he's being sincere.

"Promise me you'll chill out a little, not be completely wasted every night like you have been"

His eyes meet mine and he rubs his thumb across my bottom lip. "I promise, I'll be too busy anyway, you know that"

I watch him for a moment then sigh "Okay I'm gonna hold you to this" I say sternly but with a smile on my face.

"Okay  boss" He says before sliding back into his seat across from me. Before  he pops his headphones back on he continues on "I am taking you out  tonight though" He grins.