Gwen's Life Journal

Behind the scenes Pt. 2

Continuation:

Chapter 6- Oliver......again?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The friend from uni I was texting was Tia XD. And I definitely see the appeal to hang out at Walmart in the middle of the night.... I just didn't want to spend another second with him.

Chapter 7- How we never even crushed

Again, I don't know why I didn't mention this (I think it was probably cause i used to FEAR somebody reading this), but the reason Lukas and I couldnt communicate as much when he left (specifically around the time of the events) was cause he was trainning in the military and the first few trainning periods his phone got taken away. Also the university stuff i'm refering to had to do with my ballet arch-nemesis and decliniung grades cause of an injury i had. Funfact, this was actually the first chapter i wrote cause this interaction in this chapter was so funny to me and i wanted to tell story-times type The Gabbie Show but i didnt want to do video editing so i started writting here as i healed from that dance injury.

Chapter 8- When he forgets your birthday

So two things. I was indeed mad at Lukas cause he didn't text me, but was texting Maine. I also felt as if Maine was hiding something at the time, but later on, I went on to realize she just dgaf about Lukas enough to even mention him. Althouhg now, with all that has happened I wonder if she was just an attention whore. Also I was angry at Zach cause I was starting to like him again, but rememebr smiling when he apologized a thousand times and sent me voice memos (what can i say, voice memos work with me)(foreshadowing btw). The sad part is that i finish the chapter saying that even thouhg I was furious at Lukas, 24 hours later I would be furious at Zach but that i would later tell the story... I have no fucking idea what my past self was referring to, and I don't remember what happened the next day.

Chapter 9- Zach returns

One of the most embarrassing moments I remember happened to me around this time was that, for a while, Zach would mention these girls, but we would never see them. I wonder if he made them up to be cool or if there was someone actually there irl. Anyway, I remember around my birthday Zach called my mom worried cause he didn't remember the actual date and didn't want to miss it. He and my mom then went ahead and planned something. I had mentioned I wanted to hang out with a small group of friends. I dont remmeber who came but i remember Maines being there (btw this birthday was like two years prior the one in chapter 8). The embarrasing part was that i finally told my mom i thought Zach had a crush on me and that took balls cause i never talked about those subjects with my mom. Only for his mom to make a surprise apparition and reveal to all of us a week prior that a girl had broken Zach's heart by rejecting him. Well, look at that, aren't we seeing some patterns here? Anyway, I was embarrassed and crushed by this. I dont remmeber anything of what we did but i do remmeber the exact moment this comment happened, his embaraased face, my embarased face, my mom trying to change the subject and Maine just being Maine (idk she wasnt relevant).

Chapter 10- A ghost in my office (A short scary story) 

Again, not much to add. Til this day, I know for a fact there was a fucking ghost there.

Chapter 11- Just be with him!!!

Also, Darla. She was actually a cousin's cousin... if that makes sense. So we weren't blood-related, but I actually knew her for a very long time before she transferred to my school. Ever since we were little she was a drama queen, she was mean, a bully and i never understood wtf Zach wanted to be friends with her so bad. I dont remmeber if i told thiese stories before but there are two that pop to mind that i think show exactly Darla's personality. The first one was that when she got to university, her dad fixed a used car that had been used for like a month, so it was pretty much a new car. He gifted it to her, and she said she didn't want the used car cause it was embarrassing, and it was so stupid that he thought she would like the piece of trash she was gifted, and so her dad said she would have no car then and had to use public transport (props to him). My uncle ended up getting the car and still uses it to this day. The second one was when she was asked to help take care of her grandma for about an hour twice a week until the caregiver left and one of her aunts returned from work. It was just that. She did so for a week and then said she was not going to be taking care of an old woman cause it wasn't cool (yes, she was an adult, btw). At the grandma's funeral, she stood in front of everyone and cried her heart out, reminiscing about the last few months of life that she actually wasn't there at all to help for 2 hours a week. She also didn't let her sister speak, who was the one who actually helped around.

So yeah, thats why i was so shocked. Also last i knew about her she had moved in with her boyfriend, but at church was told that was fornication and returned home.

Also, going back to the surfer shop story, is it embarrasing to admit that to this date i still think about the what ifs of this event? cause i do wonder if i had been more forward this day and asked what exactly Simon meant by his comment maybe the story would've been different... or maybe not, we'll never know. Remembering that date is one of the reasons I often question whether actual girls existed or if it was just a gimmick from time to time.

Chapter 12- My return!

Not much to update.