Eighteen

Where are you?

We returned back to the house. They were all talking and laughing. They had begun grilling. I went and sat besides the girls.

"Mer,you okay? Where were you?" Kris asked me. She seemed worried.

"I'm fine. Just tired." I forced a smile.

"Well okay. If there's anything tell me okay? " she said.

I nodded. We began talking. Louis came and asked me to open my mouth. I did. He fed me a piece of chicken.

"So?... " He asked.

"Its yummy." I said.

"After all I made it!" Louis said.

"Seriously?" I said not believing.

"Hey!don't take credits for something you didn't do! Or should I say Cook!!" Niall said.

"Okay okay sorry mate!" Louis said.

We all ate. Then Niall sat struming his guitar. He played Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran. I hummed the lyrics in my head.

Liam suggested that the boys and us dedicated a song to our special ones. To be honest I wasn't pretty happy.

Since all agreed even I did.

Louis ran and bought and empty bottle.He placed it in the middle and spinned it. It pointed to Liam.

"So Liam!which song bro?" Niall asked.

"When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating." He smiled and held Evanna close.

He sang the words,
Its amazing how you can speak right to my heart,Without saying a thing you can light up the dark,try as I may I could never explain,What you do when you don't say a thing....

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall,You say it best when you say nothing at all.

He ended it. Evanna had tears. We all clapped.

"I love you so much babe!!" She said to him and hugged him tightly.

We all went "awww". Next the bottle stopped at Niall. He looked up and said,"Well,this one is for the girl whom I love the most,who is the reason behind my every happiness,and I hope she knows how amazing she is and that." He begun singing I'm yours by Jason Marz.

I was just feeling hurt.Knowing I could not be the one he was talking about.
I just sat there silently. Looking everywhere else but not at Niall. Though he looked at me quite a lot of times. I could feel pain building inside me.

"I'm yours..." Niall ended the song.

"That was truly amazing mate! That girl should be lucky! Right Merryl?" Louis said tapping Niall's back.

"Uh,y-yeah" I said.

Niall looked at me and I looked away.
"Guys,don't mind. But I think I need some sleep,I feel tired so I'll see you guys in the morning okay? Night guys." I said and left. I went up to my room and locked it.

I just couldn't help but cried. I just thought something like a poem inside my head as I sat on the window pane staring at the moon.

Outside in the early morning sunshine,
Drowned in the Midnight Moonlight
Divine.
In the evenings when the winds blew
Where are you?

Inside the soul and in the heart,
Life's most important part,
Yes can I sense traces a few,
Oh love,Where are you?

All of a sudden,Niall and my memories start to play in my head. As I continue saying.

Woah you're here in your style,
With your flirty look I shyly smile,
And your arms for me open wide.
In your warmth I'm filled with joy.
Oh love,tell me now,where are you now?

I stayed there for a while. Silently seen the moon and the cloudy sky. Thoughts kept coming,attacking my mind with a billion questions. Merryl do you love him?or is it just normal? Is he the guy you longed or is he just another best friend? Why do you feel pain? Why do you get hurt every time he thinks of someone else? I didn't know the answers to them. But all I knew,my judgements were clouded like that nights sky.

After a while I decided to go to bed. Though I didn't get sleep,I just layed there.

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Hope you guys like the little poem I put in there. Its just something that popped into my head!

All the love -M