My Own Way

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Sitting in the waiting room, I prayed that I wouldn't fall asleep while sitting on the uncomfortable chair.  I had 3 hours of sleep but it was completely worth it.

 
I was surprised when I woke-up by Blake whispering my name and telling me to get up in my ear.

 
"What the hell are you doing up?" I had asked him half asleep with my face still fully on the pillow.

 
"I didn't fall asleep yet.  I wanted to make sure you got up before I'd pass out." He said.

 
If I was into romance, I'd say that was the most romantic thing ever but I guess I wasn't this normal girl because I started laughing.

 
I sat down in the waiting room 10 minutes ago and I had another 10 minutes to wait until Emily, my therapist, would be ready to see me.

 
I put my head back and rested my head against the wall.  I just wanted this to be over.  I wasn't sure if Emily was going to be happy with the progress or disappointed because I did actually have sex with Blake and it was a lot more than just once.  At the same time, I was just too tired to care what she'd think.

 
There was another woman sitting in a near by chair, she looked like she had been crying and was about to continue anytime soon.  This was what I hated the most about places like this, everything was sad and depressing.  When people, like me, would show up expecting a miracle and be cured by the time the hour was up, it felt like a downfall.

 
"Amanda?" I heard.  I looked at the door and there stood Emily waiting for me.

 
I got up and grabbed my things and followed her to her office.

 
"You look tired." She said.

 
"Thanks, I am." I replied as I'm setting my things down on the wooden chair.

 
I turned and took my normal seat and she was already waiting for me.

"You’re not late today." She stated.

"I know, it must be a miracle or something." I told her.

"How are you?" She asked.

 
"I'm fine....no...I'm good." I said with a huge grin on my face.

 
"You're happy today.  I don't see that often.  You're smile is genuine.  It suits you." She said smiling too.

 
"Things were or... are a bit crazy but...it's going good." I told her.

 
"What do you mean things are crazy?" She asked.

 
"I'll give you the short version because honestly I'm tired of repeating it.  It turns out Jesse has a son...also named Jesse.  He younger than me and he was trying to find information to learn more about his father.  His mom and my mom were friends a long time ago and that's all I know right now." I told her.

 
"You’re right, that’s a very short version." She agreed.  "How do you feel about Jesse having a son?" 

 
"It freaked me out but I met him and...  He just wanted to learn about his dad.  My mom told me you can't choose your parents, which is obviously true but also, it doesn't mean because his dad was a monster that he is as well." I said.

 
"That is very true.  Did that situation trigger you to have more flashbacks and\or nightmares?" She asked.

 
"At first but they slowed down I think.  Right now there's a lot of anger, I feel like my uncle hates me and..." I said but I could feel my tears starting to build up.