Dear Diary

intellectual with a mauj masti mindset😏

17 August 2026
5. 27 am
So....hello everyone....back after a long time ain't I ...?
Well I have my pharma exam today and I am so done with it really....
And then it stuck me ....this one time I was too crazy and so devastated and depressed bcos of the fact that I fucked my bioc exam and I was so sad . I. Cried my heart out and everything....
I was thinking what if I failed or something....and then I ended up scoring the highest of em all in that subject ....so basically Krishna ji saved me yet again .cos I am Krishna jos favourite ever disciple descendant, believer, worshipper, unki pyari Sakhi whatever you may call it .....!

So this made me think today that whatever I worry about today ....krishna ji has already decided and uk completely planned everything for me and in My bestest of interests ....

This one time in 12th standard when I was so so so jealous of Tanishq and Kritika that I made a promise to myself and god and manifested it so hard that one day I'm going to score more than these people....amd at that time it was impossible for me to do so....kike even thinking about it was like unthinkable basicallly ....but now that I'm here in a college better than those and finally having scored more than both of them in my first year of mbbs has made me reflect and believe in my kanha ji even more ....as if I didn't already believe in him like crazy but yeah...
Like at that time when both of em were class toppers and scoring 600 plus in literally every single mock ...it was reallly really dishearte and discouraging for me ...and the fact that I liked pink and couldn't even score as well as him no way near him....made me view myself so differently so downgradingly and now ....look how the tables have turned ...see I'm not saying that they are bad people or being jealous is a good trait ...it's just that at that point I was too depressed and the way I saved myself amidst all that turmoil was by believing in my Krishna ji my Govind .... And so I manifested ....so even though not in neet but in mbbs ...

So now basically I manifested that I'm going to score more than Prarthana
Score more than Yash Mehta ....score more than Purvi Jaiswal....
And all the toppers because I deserve it ...I am going to prove to em all that I deserve more than you guys ....im going to prove to everyone that just bcos I'm a reserved candidate doesn't mean ....im any less capable than you guys....
I'm gonna score distinctions in all subjects in all years of mbbs and gold medals in every single subject ....wait and watch .....and I'm going to score. Highest in neeet pg as well and get the dream branch

And I'm going to get filthy rich ....im going to earn a lotta money and by lot I mean a lot of it ....and spend how much ever I want to ...yes that's a promise I make to myself and the universe ....
And who's gonna help me with that..? No one but myself ofcourse...and obviously my dear dearest Govind ...my kanha ji ....my Krishna ji and my banke Bihari ji....cutie hai aap

I now understand meerabai....
Seriously I do ...like I love Krishna ji so much that it's-just too much sometimes....