Anne-Maria (Completed)

Why?

Once I finally woke up, I stormed off to my kitchen, where my parents were cooking dinner. I wanted to at least say goodbye and that I loved them before I left this world.

"I love you both very much, thank you for taking care of me," I said loudly. My mother was the first one to speak up, she said she loved me very much. So did my father. They continued chopping up onions and peppers, beside each other. I grabbed a knife, slowly, hoping that my parents didn't notice me. I held the sharp kitchen knife behind my back and walked out the kitchen door backwards. I walked quickly back upstairs and closed the bathroom door behind me.

I usually lock the door, but in case I regretted my decisions, I wanted my parents to be able to open the door, so I left it unlocked. I sighed loudly and thought about my decision once again. It was time for me to do what I had decided upon.

I gripped the knife by its handle and faced the sharp side towards the right side of my lower stomach. I stared at the knife carefully. It was rather dull and not as shiny as the other knives in my kitchen, but I didn't really care to much about it. I pulled the knife away from me, and pulled it back, barely piercing my skin, but I still began to bleed quickly. I pulled the knife out and was in shock. What did I just do?

I dropped the knife and it barely missed my foot. The knife made a loud noise as it hit the floor, loud enough for my parents to hear. I heard them quickly run up the stairs to see what was wrong. I looked down on the stab-wound. I grew queasy on how much blood was staining my dress and dripping to the floor. The knife went in deeper than I thought, the cut was about an inch deep. I touched the area of the cut and looked at my hands that were now stained in blood. I let out a gasp and began to breathe again.

I couldn't believe that I had just stabbed myself. My dad knocked on the door and asked if everything was alright. I shook my head and realizing that the door was still closed, I said no. I reached for the door knob and tried to open it a few times, staining the knob with blood. Blood started to pour out of the wound faster, and I was instantly regretting my decision. My father helped me open the door and let out a gasp as my mom shrieked in worry.

"Mommy," I choked on my tears, "Mommy, what did I do?" I fell into my dad's arms and a part of my dress was now a dark red. I coughed up blood into my dad's shirt and started to cry louder. My mother grabbed her phone out of her pink apron and called the ambulance for help. My father laid me on the floor and was crying. I remember that being the first time he actually cried. My head was resting on his knees, so I wouldn't choke on my own blood. I coughed up more and after getting off the phone with the ambulance that was now on its way, my mom sat next to me and placed her hand on the wound.

"My baby, my poor baby," She gasped again and was in shock as well. She repeated those two words and I remember myself fading away. I remembered the rain, and Kan, and Kevin. I cried more as I coughed up more blood. I was slowly dying, but hey, this is what I wanted right. I was finally escaping, but at the same time I didn't want to leave my parents. They were crying so much. My mom called Tom, who seemed to be on his way over before she even called. He barged in and jogged up the stairs, skipping a few steps. He sat next to me and he asked me why I stabbed myself, why I had done this. I shook my head and choked again on my tears, "I don't know."

The last thing I remembered from that day was the ambulance lights shining through the windows, lighting up the entire house. The sun had disappeared and the moon was shining bright. I looked at it through the window that was open at the wall opposite of me. Everything was so pretty and calm. The pain had finally gone away. I smiled and closed my eyes, as the last few tears were shed that night.