Nobody Compares

Chapter Twelve

Nobody Compares

Chapter Twelve

Its been two days since what happened. Two days since I havent went to school. Two says since I havent talked to Zayn. Two days since I havent left the house. Two long days that involved so much thinking. Two days of emotional pain.

I couldn't do anything about the emotional pain or make it go away becasue I had promised Zayn that I wouldn't cut and for some reason I didn't want to let him down. I liked Zayn. Yes, I'm admitting it. Who wouldn't?! Its kind of hard not to fall for him.

He had those amazing brown eyes that held so much. So many emotions were swirling in those hazel eyes of his. He pink full lips and his jaw line to his jet black hair. The way he made me so comfortable and make me feel so alive around him. 

He always found a way to make me laugh. He always knew how to calm me down when I had a panick attack. He made me feel like myself again and I havent felt that way in years. Its just so easy and fun being around him. 

Whenever he's not around I feel so lonely and I miss him so much just after a few minutes. I'm pretty sure this isnt normal. But since when was I normal? Thats right never. 

Not seeing him for to days made me feel dark and sad inside. One things for sure I needed Zayn in my life and I was not letting him go. the thing that needed to be let go was my past, Matt. He needed to be buried deep in a whole and never come out. All thoughts of him needed to leave my mind.

I'm not sure If Zayn liked me though. I know he's said many sweet things to me and he did try to kiss me but I dont know. Why would he like me. Whats in me to like. I'm boring, I'm such a freak, I'm not pretty and I so much shorter that him.

He could just think of me as a friend though. Even if he didn't like me like that and only like a friend I would still only be friends with him just because he makes me feel real and alive around him. The way I felt around him I had never felt around anybody not even when my mom was alive.

My dad left everyday to go to work at 7 a.m. I always locked the door not that he had time anyways in the morning but just incase anything I didnt want to be taking any chances. I woke up around ten both days and cleaned the broken glass on the floor.

After relaxing for a bit and over thinking everything through when it was finally time I would get up and start making dinner. Then I would go to my room and until he came back and grabbing a book and reading. 

Today was my lucky day because my dad worked late which ment he would be home late. Sometimes he would even go get drunk before he came home so he would just pass out right away and I wouldnt have to deal with him.

It was arounnd two in the afternoon when I heard a knock on my door.It couldn't be my dad he's never been off work early since my mom died. He likes to work the pain away then get drunk and try not to remember anything. Problem was with trying to forget everything I was the only person statding away. I was the living copy of my mom and he hated that which made him hate me.

Walking to the door I opened it surprised to see Zayn stainding there. "Zayn? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Nice to see you too Carson," He replied with a little laugh.

"Sorry, " I mumbled out my face going red. "Want to come in?" I asked moving to the side as he nodded his head and stepped in.

He looked around as I closed the door. "I just making some food if you want to eat," I said when the silence stretched on awkwardly. 

"I'm-" He started to say but I cut him off.

"Come on just try it and tell me if its good or not. I didn't poison it I swear," I said with a smile as I grabbed his hand without even noticing and pulling him to the kitchen behind me. He sat down on on of the stools and watched me while I got the plates out.