Broken Hearts (Completed)

Chapter 33

"Ano bang problema?" tanong ni Tisha. I pleaded her na mag-punta na lang kami sa isang lugar kung san makakapag-usap kami, hindi sa bahay, hindi sa condo ni Chris. "May problema kung hindi ka maka-uwi sa sarili mong bahay o sa jowa mo," she pointed out.

Nahimasmasan na 'ko sa iyak pero tulala lang ako. Nag-park sya sa isang open space at nasa labas sya ng sasakyan nya na nagyoyosi. Nasa loob lang ako kung saan inilabas ko ang mukha ko sa bukas na bintana.

"Ayoko na," sabi ko.

"Anong ayaw mo na?" tanong nya.

"Lahat."

"Business mo?-" tanong nya which I interrupted.

"No, I like what I do," sabi ko. "I actually love what I do."

"O yun naman pala," she concluded.

"Everything else has become a chore," I sighed.

"What? Eh yun nga yung work eh, yun yung trabaho, tapos yun pa yung hindi chore?" pagtataka nya.

"I can't hack it for Chris anymore. Ayoko na," amin ko.

Nanahimik sya. She put out her cig. She turned to me. "Ulitin mo nga yung sinabi mo? Baka this time kasi maintindihan mo."

"Tisha, I want to break up with Chris," sabi ko and looked at her directly.

"Fvck you are serious," she said.

"Ang tagal ko nang pinipilit na maging okay ako sa kanya. He's a good friend, an excellent business partner pero it's all convenience Tisha. I cannot fool myself any longer. Kasama ko lang sya kasi kasama ko sya," sabi ko.

"Mahal mo ba?" she asked.

"I did... I still do, but I appreciate him more than I love him. Thankful ako sa kanya... Pero ano yun diba? Am I just with him kasi nahihiya akong iwan sya? Pagpapasalamat ko ba yung kasama nya pa ako?"

"So you don't love him," she concluded.

"I value him. I don't want to hurt him pero ayoko nang lokohin ang sarili ko. Hindi na kinakaya ng sistema ko."

"Baka stressed ka lang kasi dumating yung parents mo?" hula nya.

Suminghal ako. "Unfortunately you can't break up with your parents. I love them pero they're too much sometimes."

"T*ng ina Chloe, ikaw pa ba ang magrereklamo sa parents mo? After all your crazy?" she pointed out.

"Are they going to hold me responsible forever for the things I did in the past? Hanggang kelan ko babayaran ng hiya ang mga ginawa ko? Kahit nagbago na 'ko, ganun pa rin ang tingin nila sa'kin?" I reasoned out.

"Does Chris know this? Nag-break na ba kayo?" she asked.

"I think he has had an idea. Di naman sya tanga. We have not been like before, before when I can still make myself really believe that we could work, that we could be happy for a long time. Ganito na lang yung inabot ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya eh."

"Baka may iba ka bitch?" she guessed.

"Wala. Meron o wala I think this has to end bago ako tuluyang mawala sa sarili ko."

"Space. Baka it's all you need for now?" she bargained.

"I have been fighting Tisha. Gusto ko 'tong mag-work. Chris ticks all the boxes. My father even pointed out that he was the best decision I've ever made. He's got it all. Pero love is not a decision. I chose to love him. I want to choose to stay with someone if I love him that much but I really can't stay in the relationship so he could be happy. I want to be happy rin."