Ad Infinitum

Chapter 31

©mugiichan, 2015

Denial

***

"I have a proposition to you." Fiona murmurs quietly as we walk together towards the watercrafts. Honestly, pagod na ako sa kaka-watercraft at sa kakaturo sa'kin ni Thad kung paano gagamitin iyon which I already know. At saka, sa watercrafts lang kami magkasundo ng kapatid ko everytime we go together in our secluded resthouse in Igacos. They barely visits me here, busy naman sila palagi sa work nila doon and I won't even bother it. I know I'd been bitter before, but since my parents puts an effort on me through correcting their mistakes, kilalanin ako nang mabuti bilang anak- lalo na si mommy and kilalanin rin si Shaun, my long time boyfriend before. They're still my family afterall. Since na naging maayos na ang relationship namin ni mommy, mas napapadalas ang pagbisita nila sa'kin and vice-versa until such time, na nilipat na ni Fiona ang posisyon niya sa'kin at eventually at nangyari yung disaster wedding ko.

"What is this all about, Fiona? What's with the race?" I asked, giving her a confused look. "If this is all about what you saw the other day, please... Just please, give me some rest. I'll apreciate your consideration-" Ayokong pag-usapan namin ang nangyari noong isang araw. Kahit na imposible iyong mangyari, dadating talaga ang araw na aalamin niya kung ano ang namamagitan sa'min sa kapatid niya. I am aware that it's not normal anymore and hindi ko parin maintindihan kung bakit hinahayaan ko lang na mangyari. Is it just me? I don't know. I stopped murmuring when she cuts me up with her denial tone.

"I just want to prove if my all of my suspicions are true. I don't need to ask you personally, because I can make you spill the word." She mumbles, proudly.

"Oh really?" I raised my eyebrow at her, making a bitchy eye contact. "Sigurado ka ba na kaya mong gawin 'yan sa'kin? If I know, I'm the only one who can make you spill the word."

"We'll see about that, Saab." She starts to stare at me meaningfuly with matching of wiggles of her eyebrows and her signature mischievous grin "My brother already give a hint on me earlier. He never knew he already gave one, but the way he looked at you, wearing that bikini of yours was too meaningful." I know what you mean, Fiona. I just glared at her, kung anu-ano na naman ang naiisip. Ayokong maniwala sa sinasabi ni Fiona tungkol sa titig ng kapatid niya sa'kin. Iba nga talaga ang ipinapahiwatig sa'kin. He's like telling me that he needs a word from me. Hindi pa kami nag-uusap tungkol sa nangyari noong isang araw. Kahit hindi man sabihin sa'kin ni Fiona na totoo ang sinabi niya tungkol sa ibig sabihin ng mga mata niya, her eyes spills the word. Iyon ang talagang huli ko, gusto nga niyang malaman. The amusement in her eyes won't even lie to me. Simula nang maging weird ang pakikitungo ni Thad sa'kin, I'm starting to be confused of everything. Paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na ayokong gumawa ng malisya, ayokong umasa at mas lalong ayokong masaktan dahil sa maling akala. Bakit ngayon, hindi ko ginagawa? Bakit iba na ang nararamdaman ko?

"Galit 'yon sa'kin. Kaya iba ang tingin niya." I murmured bluntly as I sit on the watercraft, crossing my hands on my chest.

"Talaga lang, Saab ha? Sige panindigan mo yang sagot mo." Talagang hinahamon talaga ako ng babaeng ito. She really knows me very well, I guess. Sa ganitong paraan niya akong mapapasalita, eh at alam niyang sa abot na makakaya ko, hindi ako magsasalita hangga't hindi ko pa gusto kaya I'm very sure na may plan B, C at hanggang Z pa nga siguro meron. "Pero, nakakapagtaka nga naman kung ano ang ikinagalit ni kuya sa'yo, or maybe did you do something that made him mad? Well, if that's the case. Pero... parang ayoko namang maniwala, Saab. Kilala ko si kuya, if you push the correct buttons, siguradong sabog ka na ngayon. Mukha talagang hindi eh at tsaka pansin ko lang, marami na akong napapansin na kakaiba sa ginagawa ng kapatid ko, even my mom already noticed it. Kaya sasabihin ko sa'yo 'to ngayon, malabong nagkagalit kayo ng kapatid ko. Sa nakita ko ba naman noong isang araw-"