Ad Infinitum

Chapter 59

Loose Ends

***

Thaddeus

"I'm only gonna say this once." I was with my sister Fiona in the one of the finest jeweller we could find in the city. Of all the people in the world, she is the only person who really knows Saab. Well, she has a lot of friends but, I know a few of them-- scratch that. We didn't had the time to meet all of her friends before. I admit I was way too busy, didn't had an adequate time to mingle with her other friends and well of course, after what had happened earlier this year.

"Cut the fμcking crap, Fiona. Don't want to hear any of your petty chats." I spat angrily at her but didn't take it seriously. Our year started a blast, really. My relationship with Saab turned upside down immediately because of my ex- Margaux's foolishness. I followed Saab in Canada to seek her forgiveness and a chance to explain myself what is really behind that lies. I almost even died in a foreign soil because of some drunkards beat the sh-t out of me and left me in the snow, completely defenseless. Damn, I really thought that was the end of me. Saab emphasized me that she doesn't need me in my life that night, that she has nothing to do with me anymore. I felt remorse, ashamed of myself after hearing those words. Regret starts to consume me thinking that I haven't done things I should've done earlier. I should've give more time for Saab, I should've been transparent to her to start with. We've got our issues but I should've take a step ahead and let her be known that she can trust me more than anyone else. "I know your tactics so, don't play your games with me little sister."

"Little sister? Yuck! Kadiri!" She eeked then rolled her eyes at me. It's a good thing she doesn't smack me anymore in which she is best at. "All I'm saying that is I thought you wouldn't go so far this point. I swear I heard you that you're happy being a badass doctor and you do not want to marry anymore."

"You're my younger sister. Calling you little sister is practically right. Well, we have Suzy so technically, my two little sisters." Saab turned my life around instantly. Although she pushed me away for being too near to her, she always understand and accept me who and what I am. She never asked me to change instead, she cared for me when no one else can. She has a big heart, selfless woman and thinks of others rather than herself. She trusted me with her vulnerability, and her transparency. She is what she is, without that glitz and glamour other people try to put to themselves. She is the sole reason I started to take a chance on love. She made me realize that I'm already the best version of myself, that I don't need to change in order to fit anyone's palette.

One thing I learned after experiencing that near death experience was to never give up, to appreciate every single day and to stand up for yourself and for the people who loves you.

"God, you're so gross kuya Thaddeus. You really give me chills." She reprimanded. "Okay fine, I love you brother. Is that what you really want to hear? Anyway, honestly speaking, are you really sure you want to do this marriage proposal?"

"Why do you think I can't settle down with Saab? I asked for your ideas for the engagement ring not doubting my ability to propose at her." I looked at her in disbelief. "No, I do not want to hear your I love you's. That's disgusting."

"But you call Saab your sweetheart. Isn't that too ironic?" She scoffed. "You know what kuya Thaddeus, hanggang ngayon hinding hindi parin kita naiintindihan. Mahirap kang pakisamahan, hindi ko talaga natatansa yung mood mo. I get that you got that handsome look, yet what I don't really understand is your attitude. Sometimes I wonder how come Saab is head over heels in love with you."