Dark and Light

Chapter 8

Matt was a bit envious really. The way Mello lovingly gazed at the tiny albino, the way Near's eyes would dart nervously and slightly blush while he was in the blondes presence. He had feelings for the blue eyed boy, thinking he was incredibly loud and amazing and beautiful all at once.

But as soon as he realized how much Near felt for Mello, how much he cared and loved him, Matt gave up. He knew he couldn't stand a chance against the toy addict. He thought that he no longer had feelings for Mello. But he knew he was wrong.

And he was left the third wheel again. He was left at third place, the third child.

Always, always, always third.

Never good enough to meet their expectations.

Never enough.

These thoughts sharply slammed into Matt, causing his eyes to water. He was thinking, thinking far too much.

He pulled out his DS and started playing ProStreet. It wasn't working the thoughts were still in his mind, engraving themselves onto his heart. And even now as he was playing this stupid racing game, he finished third.

Always third.

Matt silently slipped out of the room and sauntered down the halls, not exactly going anywhere in particular but he ended up in the boys bathroom. He jammed his hands inside his pockets and found something he had forgotten to put away. But now, Matt was actually glad he had it.

He looked in to mirror and stared. He saw a boy with a striped shirt and red hair, wearing googles staring back at him.

"What a worthless piece of shit." He said aloud."Why are you always third? Why can't you be decent for once? Why are you such a horrible fuck up? Matt don't you realize how insanely stupid, naive, and pathetic you are?"

He took a deep breath and fought back tears."You deserve this."

He retreated into the bathroom stall. He stayed there for what seemed about hours, alone with his dark thoughts.

Meanwhile Mello searched everywhere for the redhead. His room, Matt's room, the kitchen, the cafeteria, outside. He was no where to be found. But Mello didn't give up, he couldn't give up on his best friend. He would never... Never give up on the goofy, witty gamer in his lifetime.

He asked around, asking Justin, Linda, and others if they had seen him. Most shrugged and said no.

The blond was extremely worried. Matt could be in a life or death situation and in danger. He began to rush through each hall, thoroughly looking for him.

He even stopped a tall, lanky boy with black hair and his eyes seemed the color... Red?

Mello didn't want to think about it,"Have you seen Matt? Five feet tall and four inches... Red hair? Goggles? Striped shirt?"

The guy thought about it,"He's in the bathroom."

"Thanks,"Mello said gratefully and rushed to the boys restroom down the hall. He pushed open the door and the first thing he heard was sobbing.

"... Matt?"

It immediately ceased.

"Y-yeah?" His voice was shaky. "Can you open the door?" Mello gently asked.

"And why should I? Aren't you busy sweeping Near off his feet?" Matt's voice was filled with venom and envy. He wasn't normally like this...

"Matt, it's- you can't do this man."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm just trying to be a good friend and look out for you!" At this point, Mello was beginning to get frustrated.

"If you don't open the door and come out... I'm coming in!"

Then the blond awkwardly crawled through the small space underneath the bathroom stall, finding a broken Matt sitting in the corner, bloodshot eyes, his knees to his chest and arms wrapped around himself.

"Go away." He mumbled and hid his face. "No." Mello said firmly,"I'm not going away you're crying."

"N-no I'm not.."

Mello crept towards him,"Matt... What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I-it's nothing I s-swear.."

"It's obviously something if its enough to cause you pain."

"I don't w-want t-to talk about it."

"Please Matt." The redhead looked up for the first time and noticed the pleading gaze in his cerulean blue eyes.

"You really want to know?" He practically hissed. "Yes," Mello immediately responded, ignoring the anger in his voice.

"It's you. You getting all over Near, practically drooling over him! It's like... Like you only think about him and yourself!"

Mello opened his mouth to speak up and defend himself but Matt was on a roll,"Seriously. It's like the entire time we've been here you hate Near then all of the sudden you start to follow him like a lovesick puppy! I'm being selfish, yeah I know, but I've stood by you, I cared for you when no one else did, I was there! God damn it, Mello, I love you!" He pulled the blond close and shut his eyes, forcing his lips onto the older boys.

He didn't exactly know what he was doing but he noticed Mello hadn't pulled away. He wasn't responding either.

That's when Matt drew back, ashamed at his sudden out burst and tantrum.

"'M sorry.." He looked down.

"Matt... You're my best friend. Practically my brother, I can't like you in that way. I'm the one who should be sorry. Plus I thought you were into that one girl, Amelia was it?" Mello said.

"I thought maybe if I told myself I-I liked her I could get over.. You.. It didn't work.." He continued,"B-But I just kisse-"

"Yes I know. I'm going to pretend like that ever happened since it would ruin our friendship. I don't want to lose you." Mello lifted his hand to raise Matt's chin and smiled.

The redhead returned the smile but there was something about it... As if he were simply smiling to mask the embarrassment and anguish.

After all, the boy he had a crush on for about two years had just rejected him for Near.

Not that he had anything against Near himself, actually Matt was quite fond of the white little genius. It was the fact that Mello liked him, him and not Matt that got under his skin.

But not that it matter. He would get over Mello. Eventually...