Dark and Light

Chapter 14

They both got up, and headed back to Wammy's. Lost in their thoughts, the walk home was silent. The large, missionary-like orphanage was within eyesight, Near quietly asked,"Did you cry?"

Mello stared ahead,"Yeah. I did."

"Mello.." Near whispered and clutched his sides. "It's no big deal though, stuff happens and you learn to get over it." Cerulean blue eyes wouldn't leave the pavement be. Near nodded,"Mello is strong."

With that, Mello grabbed him, lifted the tiny boy into the air and spun him around. "M-Mello what are you doing?" Near yelped and shut his eyes. The chuckling blond shook, Near was too adorable and he fell backwards, his bum and back hitting the concrete with Near landing on top of him.

"What was that for?" He hissed, his face bursting with red. "It was for you," Mello pulled his white head down to his chest, kissing every inch of his face, except his lips.

"Me-Mello s-stop! Someone might s-see us!" He pushed him away and rolled off. "Then we'll give them a show," he replied and grabbed for the boy again. "I am serious." The monotone Near returned, replacing the boy that has been filled with curiosity and sincerity. He leapt to his feet and twirled his hair, anxiously advancing to Wammy's as Mello laid on the ground, groaning. Near was entering the large wooden doors just as a redhead with googles was exiting.

"Hey, Near." Matt smiled and warmly greeted him. "H-Hello, Matt." Near replied in his neutral voice. Something about this was... Off. Matt's facial expression and tone was cold, guarded. He wasn't smiling and behind his googles, his emerald eyes were hard and unforgiving. The redhead had tried shaking the feelings off but nothing was working.

'How can one fix a broken heart?' Matt has continuously wondered. 'How?'

So Matt decided it were best to forget Mello for a while. Maybe spend more time with other people like Near or Linda. Anyone and do anything to get the blond out of sight, out of mind. Just until he could manage the throb in his heart.

"Wanna hang out with me in my room?" Matt abruptly offered Near as be was entering. Near was confused of Matt's sudden friendliness but nodded slowly, perhaps he could dig out what was bothering the gamer,"Yes, it seems like... Fun?" Near shrugged,"I would like some time to freshen up a bit if you don't mind."

"Oh no, not at all. You know which room right?"

Near nodded again and he raced off to his room, leaving Matt in front of Wammy's. and in about fifteen minutes, Matt and Near were seated at the base of Matt's messy room, awkwardly holding Xbox consoles. Near had never played Call of Duty before. He had never even heard of it... "Black ops 2 was better than the first, like you see black ops had less players, less ingesting zombies on zombie mode, less places to play. So I think you'll enjoy this." He smiled at the albino. "I am unsure of this, Matt." Near replied nervously.

"C'mon you'll do fine!"

They had lost on easy, round 17 on zombie mode. It surprised Matt and didn't at the same time, since one, Near was a genius but on the contrary, he had never played video games before. After a few more times and more guts and gore, Near put the controller down,"That was... Interesting, Matt. Thank you for showing me a new form of entertainment but I'm afraid I'm going to call it a night."

"Sure thing, buddy. See ya tomorrow." He was still completely absorbed by the televisions screen in the dim lights of his room, barely paying any attention to what Near was saying. This, this was what Matt loved doing. He loved the adrenaline, the way he could lose himself, forget being Matt, being Mail and becoming someone else. Living their life, and not his own. It was relieving, just like Mello with his chocolate or Near with his toys. It gave the gamer a way to stay cool. To remain sane. Even when he felt like tearing himself apart, when he felt like he was fading in his thoughts and emotions, he could simply flip a switch and dissolve his existence in a 2D reality.

And that was good enough for him.

Midnight, exactly twelve am. And Matt had finally gotten tired of watching brain matter splatter on brick walls unappealing. 'Would Mello still be up?' He wondered and then his heart skipped a beat. 'Could I go hang out with him like we used to?' Then he groaned and mentally jumped off a cliff. 'Why did I have to be so impulsive and stupid that day?' Recalling Friday, forcing his mouth onto Mello's silky, lavishing lips in the boys bathroom. Not the ideal place for a first kiss with a guy you've had something of a crush on for two years but he hasn't exactly the time to plan things out. The taste of chocolate... The feeling of want and need clashing together in his heart. Wanting Mello to be his. Needing Mello like oxygen.

'Of all people, why him?' Matt laid down and studied his jeans, outlining the soft texture. The more he thought about it, the less it made sense. 'If I'm a guy, and he's a guy, does that make me gay? But I liked that one chick... Not as strongly as Mello but she was pretty hot and had attitude. So... Would I be bisexual?' The confusion with his preference in gender was overwhelming. Did he like girls, guys, or both?

 "Screw it." He said aloud and completely ignored his plan to avoid Mello. He couldn't just let the blond grow out of his life, he needed his best friend. But he forgot there's a thin line between need and desire.

So Matt inched to his feet and crept to the door. Twisting the knob with as little noise as possible, he slipped out the door and into the hall. He takes a few steps forward then to the right. He notices the paintings on the walls and how menacing they appear in the shadow of the night. The redhead gulps and rushes to the blue eyed boys room, terrified of the dark and solitude. He considers his options. Knock or just enter. He decides its best to knock, if Mello is awake which is more than likely, he will more favorable if Matt knocks rather than barging into his room. 

So the gamer does just that and waits outside his best friends room, simply standing with the growing impatience and fear. The fear blooming in his chest, constructing his lungs, disabling him to function properly. His thoughts are terrifying, imagining the worst case scenarios in which a psychotic killer is behind him, or a tall, lanky, dressed in all black monster is breathing down his neck without Matt even realizing it. Matt can't take it anymore, he opens the door and finds what he didn't expect.