"Snap Out Of It"~Camren~

Ch. 26

~Camila's POV~
So it's been a while...a lot of time has past since everything all "happened." But I'll explain everything in time. Lauren and I broke up a while ago and of course me being the emotionally fucked up girl I've always been I'm not exactly handling the situation lightly. In front of the girls I act like I'm the happiest person but in reality I wanna break down and cry every time I see those sun kissed lips or her explosive green eyes. Somewhere in her heart I think she still has feelings for me. It was too weird of a break up to not have any feelings left but then again that could just be my imagination trying to use any excuse I can to tell myself that she still loves me. As much as I'd love to blame it all on management I can't. I woke up one day and as I was going to get breakfast Lauren pulled me aside and just said "I don't love you anymore, I'm sorry" and left. She turned around, got her breakfast and pretended like she didn't just stab me in my heart. For months now I've been trying to rack my brain on how this could happen but I've come up with nothing. I tried talking to her but every time something about our relationship came up she would pretend it never even existed. I don't know how someone could be completely in love with another person and then in less than 24 hours throw it all away like it never even meant anything. I pretend that I'm okay and whenever the other girls ask about what happened I lie and say that "it was an equal decision," I don't really think that they believe me because I've been caught multiple nights crying in my room by all of them except Lauren and every time I say that I just read something sad on tumblr. Everyday I try and tell myself to move on and forget about her but I can't because I can't look at her and feel nothing I've tried but I just can't. I want too so bad but it's the confusion that keeps me from forgetting about her. That and I have to see her everyday. I keep myself up late at night racking my brain wondering what's going through her mind. Shawn comes over and keeps me company and we flirt all the time and honestly he makes me feel so much better. It's like I talk to him about everything and nothing at the same time and he makes me forget about Lauren. But that's just it he makes me forget, that's all he does and I love our friendship but he doesn't compare to her. I try and convince myself he does but at the end of the day I look at him and all I think about is Lauren. It's so obvious he has feelings for me and I'd be lying if I said I don't use him sometimes to try and make Lo jealous and I feel terrible about it but I just don't feel that way about him.
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Shawn and I are sitting watching funny videos on YouTube while the other girls are scattered around the room doing their own thing. "Camz this cat video is killing me I can't stop laughing" he says and I mentally cringe every time he calls me that. That's Lauren's name for me and the way it rolls of his tongue is nothing compared to the way Lauren sounds when she says it. I can tell Lauren gets a little agitated when he says it to but I don't know why, she's the one that ended things. I just smile at him and he puts his arm around me. "Oh my god why don't you guys just date already it's killing me!!" Ally says to me and out of nowhere the girl that never speaks anymore utters the words that gives me the most conflicting and confusing theories. "Because he's not her type" she whispers quietly not thinking that we'd hear her, but I heard her loud and clear. "Then what is her type?" Shawn says and honestly if there was a button for 'kill me now' I would've pressed it so many times to stop me from doing what I'm about to do. "Don't listen to her she doesn't know what she's talking about...your my type" I almost whispered as I pulled his head to mine and connected our lips. As much as the roughness in his lips made me uncomfortable I had to pretend that I liked it. I had to hurt her the way that she hurt me. Once we pulled away all that was left was Lauren's confused face and the other girls mouths hung wide open and a very puzzled Shawn. I didn't know what to do next so I walked out of the bus and started walking to god knows where, I heard foot steps behind me assuming they were Shawn's probably wondering what just happened. Boy was I wrong. I turned around to see a some what teary eyed confused Lauren. "Hi" was all I could make out of this awkward situation. I don't think anybody could've prepared for what happened next..
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HIIII !!! I'm so sorry I haven't updated but here ya goooo thank snickerdoodle_1 for giving me motivation to update 😂, I know it's short but next chapter will be longer I promise. ~ Sarah