"Snap Out Of It"~Camren~

Ch.9

~Camila's P.O.V~
I don't know what's going on but all the girls are hiding something from me, I can feel it. Ever since the day Lauren sang that song she hasn't been the same. She doesn't look happy, actually she looks exhausted. She never smiles and when she does I know it's fake. I don't know what I'm gonna do but I can't just sit around and watch her wither away. She's my Lolo and if there's something I can do to help I'm gonna try my best. I walked over to her bunk and opened her curtain. "Hey Lolo?" She turned around with blood shot eyes and it broke my heart to see her in this state. "What do you want Camila." I instantly shuttered at her use of my full name. I was her Camz and Camz only. "You haven't been yourself lately and I just want my best friend back." She didn't answer but just turned around. I saw that as a sign to leave her alone but I knew that's the exact opposite of what I had to do. I jumped in and cuddle up next to her wrapping my arms around her waste. She froze as she felt that my touch was now foreign. "Why are you doing this?" the low voice trembled. "Because I love you Lo and if there's anything I can do to make you feel better I will." "You don't love me...you'll never love me!" Her voice now filled with rage and I was beyond confused. "What are you talking about of course I love you?" All I heard next was her whimpers. I held her tighter and knew that she was just saying these things out of anger. She tried to pry my hands off of her but that just made me hold tighter. "GET OFF OF ME!" She repeated over and over again. "No! Stop fighting me and just let me hold you!" Ive never yelled at Lauren so she was in shock that I spoke up. She stopped fighting my now loosened grip and relaxed in my arms letting out quiet sobbs. A little while after I noticed she had fallen asleep I kissed her forehead and as I was about to put my head down on her pillow I noticed something white sticking out of the little compartment on the wall. I pulled it out and found a piece of paper with tear stains all over it. I opened the front and saw Lauren's nickname for me. What the hell? I knew this was invading her privacy but I saw the name and figured that maybe this was why she was upset. But why would I be in it? Oh my god. The night she got drunk! She said it was my fault. I knew something was off but thought it was her reacting to the alcohol like she had told me. I was trying to convince myself to put it back but is let my eyes wander further an further down the paper.

"To my pink princess,
Do you really want to know who my crush is? The truth? I like you. A lot. You make me happy. You make me laugh. You're smart. You're different. You're a little crazy, and awkward, and your smile alone can make my day. You're honestly all anyone could ever ask for. The way you make me feel is pretty indescribable. You make me smile even when I'm at my lowest. You and your stupid jokes that only I laugh at and to be honest most of the time I find them hilarious. Don't ask why because I have no clue. Lastly Camila, you're my best friend and I would be nothing without you. I never want to lose you so I'm pushing my feelings aside to protect yours. You'll always mean everything to me and I'd do anything in the world for you the second you asked. I love Camzzi. ~ Your Lolo."
What. The. Actual. Fuck. Did I just read. I was flattered by the kind words of my bandmate but shocked at what I had just come across. Lauren Michelle Jauregui, the girl that I have loved since the very beginning has feelings for me. I'm not sure if I have the exact feelings back because this is all very new to me and I've never really liked girls before. Well I mean Lauren's different. She's not just some girl. I slowly put the paper back and snuggle up to Lauren once again. Did I like this? Did I like being in Lauren's arms? Of corse she's Lauren but did I like it like that? I relax my head against the pillow and my mind filled with billion things rushing through it thought only about this moment. What the hell is happening. Out of nowhere I think about how much this has hurt her. She's had to watch me and be with me this entire time but was never able to speak her true feelings. This girl is so strong. I wouldn't have been able to last this long. The amount of pain I must've cause her. She when out and got drunk. Lauren doesn't drink, an it's all my fault. Her pain is my fault. This whole time I've been prancing around all unicorn and rainbows and my best friend has been dying inside. Wow, good job Camila. I don't know why she would hide this from me though, I would never stop loving her and this wouldn't change anything. Well of course not unless I have feelings back. Do I have feelings back? Ugh I don't fucking know what to do! I think I need something a sign anything to show me that I have feelings for her. Somewhere deep, deep down I think they might be there. Those feellings. The feeling that I might like my best friend a lot more than I'm supposed to. The fact that I can tell deep down I do is what scares me the most.
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I wasn't gonna update gain today but what the hell it's New Years! So here ya go lovelies 😘