Story of a Wallflower : Freshman Year

October 4, 2015

I broke my phone almost two weeks ago. Life has been very hard without it. I realized I avoid people and problems with my phone. Its very hard for me two avoid those two things without my phone. Every time my mom or dad would want to talk to me we would argue more than usually because i didn't have my phone to play music and mute them out. They would just keep yelling rude things at me and blaming me for their problems. I started to wonder if they always say these types of things to me but I just hear them with my earbuds in or they purposely said those words to me because they knew all I could do is listen.

I also keep my calendar in my phone and I feel like I TRIPLED booked the weekend October 23. I also forgot my first Gay - Straight Alliance (GSA) meeting Thursday but luckily the morning announcements told me. After school I had borrowed my friends phone to text my mom but I couldn't. she had a flip phone and i honestly could not figure out how to text her so she text her for me. she had let me see what she text my mom and it read ;

"hey mom its your daughter. I forgot to tell you that I had a club meeting after school. so I need you to pick me up at 3:30."

send

They club meeting went really cool. I learned about a lot of LGBT events that happen in our community and I also found out how many LGBT people are at my school.

the meeting was over at 3:30. When the meeting was over I called my mom with my friends phone (I honestly don't know here name and I am scared to asked to ask her for her name because she might get mad at me. I have known her for like almost three moths now). I told my mom that the meeting was over. She said okay and she would be here shortly.

She didn't pick me up until 4:30. I stood outside with nothing to entertain me for an hour. I had no one to talk to for an hour. I just stood there in the hot sun and since i live in California it gets really really hot.

I was so mad at my mom and the part I hated the most was that she wouldn't tell me why she was so late.

Pain has got a new meaning since i broke my phone. Oh I forgot to tell you how I broke my phone. I was trying to make a new youtube video and i make all of my videos with my phone. i set my phone rails that keep you from failing over the edge while you are up stairs. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea. i tried to click the "pause" button on my phone and accidentally knocked it over. it fell at least 15 feet.

My parents don't know I have a Youtube channel and I hope they never do because I know all they would do is discourage me and tell me not to. Because of this I didn't tell them the real story of why I broke my phone.

Instead I told them, "I was leaning over the rail texting when it slipped through my hands. it fell about 15 feet."

My mom thinks it should not have cracked and she said it should have bounced like a ball. I don't know why my mom thinks this but what ever she is smoking I need some of it.

I am making this story on my computer since my phone it totally broken.

Yesterday was my very first high school homecoming dance. It was not the best day of my life but it will be memorable.

I wore a beautiful red dress, curled hair, and eyelashes with diamonds on them. Dressing like this isn't my "cup of tea" but this is the only way my parents would let me go and i am trying to go to as many school events as i could because everyone tells me the one thing they regret about being in high school was not being involved in school activities and clubs.

When i got their there was a very long line to get in. I went all the way to the end of the line and the guy who was right in front of me was my middle school friend, Shawn. We haven't talked much since we started high school but I had no one else to talk to and I was trying not to be a wallflower tonight.

He hasn't changed at all (physically) since middle school. But he did change his sexuality. he is Bisexual now and says he has a crush on some senior who is also a he.

He was with this girl name Gabby. They were not showing any signs of affection so I assumed they were not dating. When you get to the front of the line the school security checked your bag and pat you down.

The girl caught for having pills in her bag. I soon figured out that they were ecstasy.

I was clean and had nothing in my bag. I try to stay away from that type of stuff. When we finally got in I left them because I found my usual group of "friends."

I put the quotes around friends because they have none of the same interest as me. I cant share my excitement for a new music album coming out because they never heard of that band or to talk about a youtube video that was posted earlier in the week because they don't even watch youtube.

They introduced me to this guy was also hanging out with them. He was tall with pretty blue eyes and well dressed.

His name was Alex and a sophomore. After they introduced us he said we already met and he already met me. I just nodded my head yes in agreement with him. Honestly I didn't know who he was and he didn't look familiar at all to me.

We all hung out together for a while but then they did not want to dance or anything. All they did was stand in the corner of the room. This was what I was trying to not to.

Luckily Gabby came and told me that she wanted to dance. we went over to the dance floor and danced the night away. Everyone was dancing on each other and doing things i dint even know people would call dancing. But Gabby and I were just dancing. That's what they did for the rest of the night.

the last song of the night was Up Down by T-Pain. Gabby and I were still dancing but not that far into the so i felt hands grab my hips and pulled me closer to his..."special area" I did not know who it was and I did not was to turn around to see if I knew him because I did not want to kill vibes. I just kept dancing but I was not dancing how i was prior to this. i was dancing like everyone else. I only danced like this once before and that was back in middle school at my friends birthday party.

I did not really know how to move but his hands guided me. I bent over and just had my ass move to the song while he helped guided me.

when the song was over he let go of my hips and left and did a quick glance at him and he wore a yellow shirt. Judging by the fact he didn't look familiar he could not have been a freshman and judging by his height he had to be at least a junior. He was like 6'3". (I am really good at guessing height).

I walked over to Gabby.

"omg. I totally did not know you could dance like that" She said.

"Neither did I. I have no idea where that came from." I said.

" I am totally telling Shawn about this!" she said. I laughed in response.

We walked out to the front of the school together and looked for each of our parents. It wasn't long until we found them. Her mom was standing out side in front of the school while I saw my dad's truck.

I went into the truck and we went home.