Story of a Wallflower : Freshman Year

Janurary 10, 2016

Last day of winter vacation. Everyone at my school is probably very sad...well except me. I actually enjoy school.

I dont know if I have told you but I day dream alot. Its really hard to explain but when the happy they seem so real. Most of them are really scary but some are pleasant. I just had one and it was about Daniel and I.

I was very sad and Daniel came up to me. I guess some guy made me mad or something...I cant really remember. Daniel asked me if I liked the guy that made me mad. I responded with, "No, I am into you and only you."

Right after that I "woke up". I did not even get to see his reaction.

The past two weeks I have been having problems sleeping. I would wake up every 30-60 minutes. I dont know why but its weird.

I talk to Marcos on the phone for the first time. We talked for an hour. Most of the time we where talking about music. I did not realize until our conversation that there is a huge diffrence between Rock and Metal.

My style of music has more of a Rock vibe; The Beatles, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Nirvana, and The Smiths (my favorite).

His style of music has more of a Metal vibe; Slayer, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Pantera, Slipknot, and Alice in Chains (his favorite).

If you actually listen to the diffrent genres of music you would realize they are diffrent.

Anyways. Going baack to our phone call...I really enjoyed talking about music with him. Half way into our phone call he changes the subject. He told me and I quote, "Your voice is so damn sex."
I dont know why but whenever a guy says "-damn cute", "-damn hot", or even "-damn sexy" it makes me happy. I like it when they say that. I also like it when they call me by my nickname, "Shy."....which is what Daniel calls me alot.
*sorry I keep getting off topic*

Marcos told me that he usually really shy to talk to me during school. I thought that was a lie because we used to talk everyday at school, until I told him I was a freshman. Then after that he we act as if I was a walking disease.

Another thing Marcos told me during our phone call was, "Right now I just want to cuddle with you. Dont get scared if you feel a ten inch "snake" come your way." I almost gagged alittle in my mouth.

I really wish the way Marcos acts toward me now is how Daniel would tak to me...minus the nasty talk. I mean the part where they he has some sort of interest in me. But that wont happen. My least thing about the way Marcos talks about me is, he always talks about my physical apprearance. He walways says how sexy my hair is, how hot my body is, how cute my dress is.

But he never talks about my smartness, goofyness, or my creativness. I want a guy that doesnt care about my appearance. I want a guy that woudl always complement me but whenever he does it its about my mind and heart.

Like I told you in my last story, I was going to hang out with Daniel. It was so fun. We went to this indoor trampoline place. I had so much fun.

We played dodgeball together...just me and him. He kept showwing off the cool tricks he could do...he even did cartwheels that did not look very cute. Whenever he got hot/sweaty he would take the bottom of his shirt shirt and wipe his forheard. Doing that exposed his stomach. I could not help but look. It was the first time I saw his stomach. It wasnt the cutest thing in the world but it was cute. I am not going to lie though.....I had way better abs then him. We hung out the whole time. Just me and him.

Everyone in my family went except my mom. I was not curious at all. I was enjoying my time. When my family left my dad and brother said she did not come because she as drunk. My mom is an alcoholic. She has had this problem for a very long time and its very embarrassng to be around her in public. Daniel seen her drunk once ( that I remember.) It happened four years ago during thanksgiving weekend. We were in Vegas. Daniel and I were hanging out in the hallway and my mom came stumbling down the hall way. She asked us what we were doing and if we were dating. My heart dropped. I got so nervous. I forgot what Daniel and I said to her but we went into the elevator after that encounter. I told him I was so sorry for what my mom said. He said it was okay and started to laugh.

Today I went ice skating for the very first time in 10 years with my family. We have a lot of fun. Its been awhile since we've had nice family fun time together as family like how we did today. This was a nice way to end a winter vacation.

Did I ever tell you that I say the Star Wars movie again? Heather took me to go see to make up for the time she baled on me three weeks ago. We saw it in IMAX and she paid for my ticket.

I really wish people in this world (including me) could just go up to people and say how they actually feel. I feel like Daniel is not picking up any of the signs I'm giving him. I also have know idea if he's giving me any signs. I feel oblivious to these things called signals from guys.

Why can't people just be straight forward?