Calum
"What are we doing this weekend?" Luke asks taking a sip of his drink.
"I don't know." I shrug.
"We have three different parties to choose from." Ashton steps in.
"Whatever one you guys wanna go to." I say putting my binder in my locker. I slam it shut and turn around to face the boys. They're all looking at me like I'm some alien. "What?"
"You usually like to have a say where we go." Michael says.
"This time I don't care."
"Are you okay?" Luke places his hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah. Fine, just pre occupied with some school work."
"Oh I see well we'll talk about this later." Ashton smiles.
I look over at Michael and I can tell he's not completely convinced. My eyes trail over to a red head that has me having weird feelings around her. She walks out the front doors of the school and something in me takes over. "Hey I'll see you guys later." I say chasing after her.
"Taylor!" I call out.
She doesn't turn around knowing who it was me already.
"Hey."
"What can I do for you Calum?" She mumbles.
"Our project is due tomorrow so why don't we work on it now?"
"It's okay I got it." She keeps walking down the side walk.
"What? Why?"
She stops and turns around all in one quick motion. "You use me for the work anyways."
What is even talking about? I helped her and I asked questions. I was actually interested in what we were doing, well sort of. But that's besides the point. But I just- Shit she heard me.
"I only said that to Michael."
"It doesn't matter." She shrugs.
"Yeah it does we're partners."
"It's done I finished it."
"Why?"
"Because Calum. I wanted to finish it so we don't have to work together anymore."
I'm really taken back by her harshness; I'm not use to people talking to me this way, and I don't really like it. But at the same time I was being a dick.
"Look I'm sorry."
"I don't care, okay. I'm moving tomorrow so you can have your seat back and I'll find somewhere else to sit."
"Then I'll follow you."
She gives me a confused look. "Why?"
"Because I can."
"Why do you care so much?"
"I don't." I say for the second time to her.
She lifts her hands up, "okay. So we will stay out of each others way and don't talk to one another." She turns around to walk away, but before she can do that I grab her wrist. She is very surprised by my actions, shit I'm surprised myself. "Calum." She says in a calm voice.
"Yeah." I say equally as calm.
"What are you doing?"
"I don't know." I answer honestly. I really don't know why I grabbed her wrist so she wouldn't walk away. I don't know why I'm still holding on. And I sure as hell don't know why my fingers are on fire.
"Can you let go?"
My fingers lightly trace through hers as I let go, and I feel something really weird within me.
"Why did you do that?"
"I don't know."
"Stop saying I don't know."
"I honestly don't know what to say."
"Okay well I'm going to go now."
"Please don't." I beg.
"Why? And I swear to god if you say I don't know I'll-"
"Because what I just did was weird and I don't to leave on a weird term." I cut her off.
"Yeah it was a little weird." She admits.
"I'm sorry I did that." She just nods in response.
"I just don't want you to hate me okay?"
"I don't hate you. I just don't agree with the way you act."
"What do you mean the way I act." I sounded offended, but truthfully I wasn't.
She sighs, "you have be this guy that every one likes, you always act like you don't give a shit about certain things. And your friends have to see you as this big player and some big asshole."
She was completely right. This girl that I've only known for a short time could read me like a book. Was I going to let her know that? Nope.
"You've got me mixed up with someone. None of that is true."
"Keep telling yourself that."
I scoff, and now it's my turn to walk away. I turn around and start moving my legs the opposite direction.
"Why!" She calls out behind me.
I stop dead in my tracks trying to figure out what she means. I slowly turn around and meet her gaze. "Why what?"
"Why do you act the way you do? Why do you need people to see you like that? Why do you deny truth?"
"You have no idea what you're talking about." I spit.
She shakes her head.
"Bye Calum." She turns around. Her legs move creating more distance between us.
I wanted to tell her that she was right. I wanted to let her know why I choose to be like this. But it would destroy the walls I built for years making. She can't just come into my life and knock them down. She can't see the real me, no one can. I just have to let her walk away from me. I just have to go back to the me people see, and stay that way.
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I want to love you, but I don't know how.
